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Bad: Chinese censors have cracked down on “vulgar” dating shows for promoting materialism and open discussion of sexuality. Worse: Now that the shows promote civic mindedness and traditional values, ratings are down. [NY Times]
Amerie is now Ameriie. The extra I stands for “I haven’t had a hit in a while and I need some attention.” [Rap-Up.com]
Don’t give people any ideas: M. Night Shyamalan says, “If I thought like you I’d kill myself” when questioned about previous flops (of which there have been quite a few) while promoting The Last Airbender. [ONTD]
After rumors abounded that he was headed to the Lakers (BOO), Harvard b-baller Jeremy Lin has signed with the Golden State Warriors (PHEW). [MSNBC]
A preliminary reel for K-Town shows that while the cast may not be as orange as their Jersey Shore counterparts, they certainly know how to keep up when it comes to getting shit-faced. [TMZ]
A 66 year-old Korean woman chases down armed, would-be robbers of her dry cleaning business. If the Charlie’s Angels franchise comes back to the big screen, and for some reason Lucy Liu isn’t available to reprise her role, can this lady do it instead? [Angry Asian Man]
Amazian comedienne Margaret Cho is looking for hardcore Cho-dependents to promote her upcoming album Cho Dependent and tour, both of which are due next month. [MargaretCho.com]
Filed under: Amerie, Amerie is now Ameriie, Censorship, China, Chinese television, directors gone wild, If You Are the One, M. Night Shyamalan, Ma Nuo, Run Towards Love, television, the dating game, The Last Airbender
‘The Last Airbender’ May Be The Worst Movie Of All Time Which Means There May Be Such A Thing As Karma
Did I invoke “karma” in the title of this post because M. Night Shyamalan, director of The Last Airbender, is Indian? Sure. But given how, in the 24 hours since the movie’s opened, it’s already being heralded as quite possibly The Worst Movie Ever, he may not be for long, as soon people will be forming long lines not to see his latest cinematic debacle but, instead, to take away his Indian card, his Asian card, his DGA card, his WGA card, his AmEx card, and– why stop there?–even his SUBWAY® card, if he’s into that sort of thing, and something tells me that if white bread’s involved, he is.
Having already pissed off his brethren by casting white actors in the movie’s lead Asian roles, not getting why that was such a big deal, and hiding behind terms like “culturally diverse” and “multicultural” without understanding how his casting decisions actually ran contrary to those principles, Shyamalan’s now managed to get himself disowned by pretty much the rest of universe. Here are a few excerpts from the public drubbing The Last Airbender‘s received so far:
“The dearth of racially appropriate casting in the U.S. simply means that fewer Asians were humiliated by appearing in what is surely the worst botch of a fantasy epic since Ralph Bakshi’s animated desecration of The Lord of the Rings back in 1978. The actors who didn’t get to be in The Last Airbender are like the passengers who arrived too late to catch the final flight of the Hindenburg.”–Richard Corliss, TIME, ‘The Last Airbender: Worst Movie Epic Ever?’
“…the best way to watch ‘The Last Airbender’ is probably with Continue reading ‘The Last Airbender’ May Be The Worst Movie Of All Time Which Means There May Be Such A Thing As Karma
Filed under: Avatar: The Last Airbender, Bringing Shame to Your Family, Cultural Diversity, Desis, Disownment, Dubious Distinctions, FAIL, Failure, Indian-Americans, Last Airbender Worst Movie Ever, M. Night Shyamalan, Multiculturalism Can Be More Than Lip Service, Public Drubbings, The Last Airbender, The Racial Draft, Whitewashing, Worsts, Yellowface
“Kristen Stewart” reacts to stuff. [YouTube]
Where was China at the World Cup this year? [NYT - Room For Debate]
Australian humorist David Thorne makes the funniest (if not most effective) missing pet posters. [27b/6™]
M. Night Shyamalan’s The Last Airbender has just a 6% rating on Rotten Tomatoes–that’s 10% lower than even Sex And The City 2, and the film doesn’t even mention menopause. [Rotten Tomatoes]
Filed under: 27b/6, Arizona Immigration Bill SB 1070, Barry Wong you are not a nice man, China needs to step up their soccer game if they want to get to Brazil in 2014, David Thorne, Kristen Stewart needs to get over herself, M. Night Shyamalan, Racebending, SB 1070 is some BS, The Last Airbender, World Cup
Y’all. Y’ALL. What was up with this week? Why was everyone being such a dick? Was mercury in some kind of dickish retrograde? Was there an excess of dickage in the air? Was there some kind of discount offered on dick pipes? Was it, like, International Be-A-Dick Week? Was there a big VIP dick party that we weren’t invited to (and why not, you dicks)? Seriously, what was with all this whatthedickery?
Don’t know what we mean? What kind of dickhole have you been hiding in? (And is there extra room there? We’re kinda all dicked-out at the moment.) Not to be a total dick and ruin your dick-free week, but if you don’t know what we’re talking about, you don’t know dick. So let’s stop dicking around and get down to business.
NAME: Adam Carolla
WHY HE’S A DICK: He fucked with Intern Jasmine’s homeland and #1 homey, Manny Pacquiao. And she, along with an army of pissed-off Pinoys, ain’t feelin’ that half-assed mea culpa he posted on Twitter.
OUR SOLUTION: Dick Cancer
NAME: The Shen Neng 1 Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! 10 People And/Or Things We Hope Get Dick Cancer
Filed under: Adam Carolla Disses Manny Pacquiao, Akron OH Orientals, Anti-Abortion Crazies, Chinese Coal Ship Rams Great Barrier Reef, Cocks, Dick Cancer, Dickheads, Dicks, Disgrasians of the Weak, Father Joseph Palanivel Jeyapaul, Ginny Barber, Joey Lo, M. Night Shyamalan, North Korea, Orientals, Patrick Kim McDermott, Pricks, Shadows In the Cloud Hackers, Shen Neng 1, The Last Airbender, The Vatican, Tiki Barber, We Are Not Mascots Motherfucker
Variety reported this week that a three-part Bruce Lee biopic is in the works. When we asked you guys on Twitter who should play him, a few of you got all clever and, in light of the Hollywood tradition of white-washing Asian characters (ahem, 21, Dragonball, and The Last Airbender), offered up some inspired casting suggestions:
“Jack Black. Or Woody Allen on steroids.”
“Paul Walker w/a tan!”
“Eddie Murphy in an Asian suit?”
“Zack Efron or some other ‘yellow face’”
“Robert Downey Jr. he already went black”
Y’all will be relieved to know that Bruce Lee’s family is actually working on the biopic, and a Chinese company is producing it. Still, if they were going to fuck it up Hollywood-style, our vote for the man to play Bruce Lee would go to…Ryan Gosling. Because we hear he’s really good at kung fu. And it’s been his lifelong dream to play Bruce Lee in a biopic. And…
The Last Airbender Trailer is here!!!
Oh wait. It’s a movie by M. Night Shyamalan, director of the most successive crapfests since, uh, M. Night Shyamalan.
Okay. Never mind.
Filed under: Avatar: The Last Airbender, Crapfests, Dev Patel, Indian-Americans, M. Night Shyamalan, One-Hit Wonders, The Happening Made Me Want to Gouge Out My Eyes, The Last Airbender, The Sixth Sense