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Smack the F*ck Up
Heroin is an ugly drug, and not an addiction I would wish on my worst enemy. Which is partly why my mouth dropped agape when I saw this headline today:
The full story goes on to describe how traders fed doped-up bananas to Big Brother, an elephant held in captivity since 2005, in order to control him. The traders were apprehended by police when they tried to sell their drug-addicted-elephant off.
The Scotsman reports:
The traders were caught trying to sell Big Brother and his herd after a tip-off to police.
By that time Big Brother had developed a raging heroin addiction and posed a danger to people if denied his fix, the paper said.
A drooling Big Brother was taken to a park on the island of Hainan for treatment, after cold turkey was so unbearable even his chain could not hold him.
This is one of the cruelest stories we’ve ever heard about in a long time. We can only hope that those traders enjoy a long life of having their balls punched in and lemon being squeezed into a million little paper cuts all over their hands.
Big Brother, fully weaned off of his addiction, was returned to the wild this week. Wish him luck!
Source
Thanks, Chris!
Filed under: Big Brother, China We Have A Problem, Dirty Drugs, Elephant Love, Heroin is a Great Song But a Bad Thing, That Shit is B-A-N-A-N-A-S, The Animal Trade
Oh, Great.
Reuters reported today that China publicly refuted a widespread rumor that the country has been growing bananas containing a virus similar to SARS.
“‘It is purely a rumour and it is impossible for bananas to contain SARS-like viruses,’ the Agriculture Ministry said, referring to text messages some cell phone users had received.
‘The spreaders of the false information either have inadequate relevant scientific knowledge or have ulterior motives,’ it said, adding police had been asked to investigate.
The rumour comes at a time when food products from China have come under scrutiny around the world after a spate of safety breaches involving toxins in products from pet food to toothpaste.”
Oh jeeze. We’ve spent the last handful of decades dealing with the dog eating jokes. are we going to spend the next one dealing with the poison jokes? I mean, if one can make a joke about poison. I’m sure Ann Coulter can help out.
Filed under: Bad Dog-Eating Jokes, China, Poison (Not the Band), rumors, SARS, That Shit is B-A-N-A-N-A-S
