DISGRASIAN™

BABEWATCH: Miho Takagi

Name: Miho Takagi

Age: 15 (please don’t perv out, pervs)

Occupation: Student, Olympic speed skater

Hails from: Japan

Why She’s A Babe: Though she hasn’t medaled in these Olympic games, Takagi catches our eye every time she’s on the ice. With a baby-sweet grin, bitchin’ lean muscles, and cute-as-hell pixie bob haircut, she always manages to look both athletic, slick and chic–even in a gold lamé racing suit.

And about that uniform… many netizens saw published practice photos of the teen and gleefully pointed out that her suit revealed a dainty G-string, but it turned out the Continue reading BABEWATCH: Miho Takagi

Filed under: 2010 Winter Olympics, Asians and Speed Skating, Cute Asian Chicks, Cute Kids, Female Athletes, G-Strings, Hot Haircuts, Japan, Japanese Athletes, Miho Takagi, Racing Suit, Speed Skating, Teenagers, Underwear, Vancouver Winter Olympics, Winning Isn't Everything, Winter Olympics

AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Mirai Nagasu

Many Asian American athletes shined over the weekend in the 2010 U.S. Figure Skating Championships–including 10-year old prodigy Nathan Chen who won gold in the Novice division, and siblings Maia and Alex Shibutani who won the junior ice dancing competition.

But the country’s attention (and the Championships’ official site) seems focused on the enigmatic Mirai Nagasu, who took home an improbable silver in the women’s competition, falling just short of the solid-but-flairless Rachel Flatt.

Name: Mirai Nagasu

Age: 16

Hails from:

Occupation: Student, American figure skater

Known for: Flash and surprises. Though she didn’t fancy herself an Olympic contender and hoped mostly to show her potential for the future, Nagasu competed beautifully in the Spokane, WA figure skating National Championships last week, nabbing a coveted ticket to the Olympic Games. She may not have bested the gold medal winner with numbers, despite a near-flawless final performance, but Nagasu quickly became a people’s favorite and proved one very important point: The future is now.

Continue reading AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Mirai Nagasu

Filed under: 2010 U.S. Figure Skating Championships, Amazing Teens, Competitions, Figure Skating, Flair, Mirai Nagasu, Nathan Chen, National Championships, Olympics, Rachel Flatt, Spokane, Teenagers, the Olympics

DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Taylor Momsen

We know the bar is low for both teenagers and actresses when it comes to awareness of global events and having brains larger than peas and all, but we were still stunned when we read little Taylor Momsen’s response to OK! Magazine’s inquiry about her thoughts on the Haiti earthquake fallout.

Yeah, she's 16.

From OK!

“Um, right now I’m trying to just finish my record and getting through the last season of Gossip Girl for right now. So not so much thinking about that.”

Added Taylor, “But it’s awesome that everyone is ya know working towards a good cause.”

Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Taylor Momsen

Filed under: 7.0 Earthquake In Haiti, Actresses, Haiti, Haiti Earthquake, Huh?, Idiots, Nonsense, People That Must Live In A Fucking Cave, People That Should Never Be Considered Role Models, Resenting the Young, Shock, Taylor Momsen, Teenagers, Wacktresses, WTF?, Young Hollywood

The Chinese Are Coming! The Chinese Are Coming! (Only It’s Not How You Think)

Holy shit, the Chinese are coming. But it’s not how you think. They’re not coming to take over a depressed, podunk American town and fight an insurgency of armed high school jocks. They’re not coming to buy up all of our real estate, convert the dollar to renminbi, or force us all to speak Mandarin (I mean, hello? This is America, where most people only speak American, so good luck with that). They are coming to America in record numbers as tourists, but that’s only a temporary phenomenon and, quite frankly, we could use the dough.

According to Google CEO, Eric Schmidt, the Chinese are coming…to take over the Internet. In a talk given at last week’s Gartner Symposium, Schmidt predicted that the internet in 5 years would be dominated by Chinese-language content.

For those who are “extremely terrified of Chinese people” and can only speak American, take heart. The scarier news that Schmidt delivered?

Today’s teenagers are the model for how the web will work in five years. You know, the same teenagers who we always hear are getting dumber. Schmidt’s exact words:

Talk to a teenager about the way they consume information, and remember that five or ten years from now, that’s your employee. It’s a little frightening, by the way.

A little frightening?!

Building my bunker now…

[ReadWriteWeb: Google's Eric Schmidt on What the Web Will Look Like in 5 Years]

Filed under: Google, Google CEO Eric Schmidt, I Am Extremely Terrified of Chinese People, Predictions, Red Dawn, Teenagers, Teenagers Getting Dumber, The Chinese Are Coming, The Internet in Five Years, We're Taking Over Everything, Yellow Peril

BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Taylor Momsen

Things that happened before Taylor Momsen was born in 1993:

• The Brat Pack
• Beverly Hills, 90210 pilot
• Michael Crawford’s Phantom of the Opera career
• The Pixies
• Shoulder Pads
• Polaroid
• Cokes accompanied by smiles
• Bill Clinton elected President of the United States
• Twin Peaks
• The Barcelona Olympics
• Car Phones
• The Viper Room

Um, yeah. Taylor Momsen turns 16 this week, and we suddenly feel old and irrelevant. Happy fuckin’ birthday, Gossip child!

Source

Filed under: Children, Children of the Muthafuckin' 90s?, Getting Older, Gossip Girl, I'm Old and Grouchy, Revelations, Taylor Momsen, Teenagers

Premature Autobiographicasian

Oh, joyous of days!

It looks like DISGRASIAN Hall-of-Shamer Miley Cyrus, 16, has finally completed her rather premature autobiography, Miles to Go, a tell-all for Disney Books.

Guess her thrilling story is finished! Hopefully she’ll expire now.

Source
Thanks, Jasmine!

Filed under: Disney, Hateful People, Idiots, Life Stories, Miley Cyrus, Miley Cyrus is a Disease, Miley Cyrus Makes Fun of Asians, Not Sorry, Teenagers, Time to Disappear

BABEWATCH: Xue Chen

Name: Xue Chen

Hails from: Fujian, China

Occupation: Olympic beach volleyball player

Why She’s a Babe: Although we don’t count ourselves as beach volleyball fans, NBC has been shoving it down our throats, so if we have to watch it all day long, we’d prefer to look at Xue Chen. Like most women in her profession, the 19 year-old has a sick, sick body. She’s lean, muscular, over 6 feet tall, and has a perfect ass. We also love that she’s really tan in a society that generally prizes light skin (because it’s a class indicator), yet she’s still regarded as a beauty. In fact, Xue’s nickname is the “Ice Beauty,” which leads us to believe that she’s something of a bitch, and guess what? We are, too, and bitches gotta stick together.

Source
Thanks, Henri!

Filed under: Beijing, Caramel Skin, Chinese Volleyball, Hot Ass, NBC, Prodigies, Teenagers, The 2008 Olympics, What Is It With Beach Volleyball and Asians?, Xue Chen, Zhang Xi