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I know, I know. It’s just a clothing line! Lighten up! And it’s so kawaii as the ads keep telling me, forcing the word on me like a pacifier to the lips of a crying, reluctant babe. (Wouldn’t be surprised if Gwen Stefani had tried to trademark the Japanese word for “cute” some time in the last 5 years or so. She’s already pretty much got “Harajuku”–the name of a Tokyo neighborhood–locked down legally.) And look, the Harajuku Mini for Target children’s clothes collection, which launches Sunday online and in stores, is “kawaii,” in a “What if a little panda cub who was part skater-punk threw up and it looked like lollipops and rainbows?” sorta way.
But, you know, I can forgive, but I can’t forget. Wait, who am I kidding? I can’t forgive either! Because when I see this ad plugging Gwen Stefani’s latest business venture…
…all I see is this:
Filed under: Bizarre Misappropriation of Asian Culture by Talentless White Girls, Children's Clothing, Clothing, Free the Harajuku Girls, Gwen Stefani, Harajuku Haters, Harajuku Lovers, Harajuku Mini for Target, Kawaii, Panda Vomit, Target, This is Bullshit
DISCRIMINASIAN alert! A karaoke bar in LA’s Koreatown is looking for hostesses, and only “FRAGILE” lady candidates need apply. How do you say “This is some tall bullshit!” in Korean? [Jezebel]
Occupy Wall Street: now with more zombies! [AJC]
You down with OFC? A restaurant called “Obama Fried Chicken” has been spotted in Beijing. [Shanghaiist]
The next designer to collaborate with Target is Jason Wu (hurray!). The collection of clothing and accessories will be available next February, leaving plenty of time for Target to figure out how to avoid the shit show that happened with their Missoni collection. [New York Magazine]
Margaret Cho writes candidly (and humorously, of course) about her queer identity. [HuffPo]
Mindy Kaling’s awesome blog is back! [The Concerns Of Mindy Kaling]
Yoko Ono and Paul McCartney were able to “Come Together” (requisite Beatles reference!) for a friendly photo at the premiere of George Harrison: Living in the Material World. [HuffPo]
What’s the bigger scandal concerning Kim Jong-Il’s grandson’s Facebook profile? That there’s a photo with him with a cute girl who may or may not be his girlfriend, or that he’s apparently a fan of democracy? [Gawker]
Rachel Lee, leader of the “bling ring” that stole jewelry and luxury goods from Hollywood celebrities like Brian Austin Green, Paris Hilton, and Audrina Partridge, pleads “no contest.” [LAT]
[Photo via NYDN]
Filed under: #occupywallstreet, Beijing, bling ring, discriminasian, Facebook, Intern Jasmine's Links of the Daysian, Jason Wu, Karaoke, Kim Han Sol, Kim Jong Il, Koreatown, Margaret Cho, Mindy Kaling, Obama Fried Chicken, Occupy Wall Street, OFC, Rachel Lee, Target, The Concerns of Mindy Kaling, Yoko Ono, Zombies
Buddy. Hey. I’m super sorry to hear that you and your little sisters were taken away from your Mommy and Daddy. I know you are probably feeling sad. I know you are. Yesterday, you were eating delicious Wal-Mart birthday cake. Today, you are a bit of an orphan. It’s scary! But don’t worry, little man, it’ll be okay.
Right now you might be thinking that some “bad people”–maybe grownups around you are calling them “the State”–stormed in and stole you from your good-looking (see right), smart, loving parents. I can understand that. But honey pie, the thing is, your parents are not cool people. I’m not going to call them assholes (or did I just?), as I’m prone to do when referring to bad, bigoted parents, but dude: they are really lame, awful, folks.
With a name like “Adolf Hitler,” I promise you the fast track to a very unrewarding, unfulfilled, beatup-laden life. I’m not saying that you would ever lay a finger on anybody, tiny guy. But I can name a few that wouldn’t be so nice to you. Your namesake is the King of Monsters, the closest actual person I’ve ever been able to attribute the fabled qualities of Satan to. Satan is bad, right? You don’t want a name like that, do you? I didn’t think so.
So here’s my advice. It looks like you’re getting a clean start here. Perhaps you’ll end up in a nice home with some really sweet, pretty, new parents–the kind that shower and shop at Target! Maybe they’ll cut your hair so that your neighbors aren’t flippantly calling you white trash, and perhaps they’ll even clothe you in cute little outfits (like the little bear costume I intend to buy Jen’s future offspring). While you’re at it, I suggest you change your name! Although Diana and Jen are my favorite names in the world besides Chaka Khan, rocking those chick names would probably get your rump whooped as well–so how about Daniel? Daniel is the name of hot guys like Daniel Henney and Daniel Dae Kim. And why not set yourself up to be a “hot guy?” It’s so much better than being poised as an Antichrist.
Call me if you have any questions!
Filed under: Adolf Hitler Campbell, Bad Baby Names, Bad Hair All Around, Clean Starts, Daniel Dae Kim, Daniel Henney, Deborah Campbell, Heath Campbell, Nazis, Showering, Target, Wal-Mart Sucks, White Trash
Hails from: New York
Occupation: Accessories designer
Why She’s a Babe: Because the Korean-born Gryson makes the only two things in the world that are as good as sex–shoes and handbags. And because the leather the former Marc Jacobs bag designer uses in her eponymous collections is buttery enough to lick. Until mid-June, you can get more Gryson bang for your buck at Target, where she’s designed chic handbags that cost $50 or less. And cute stuff at discount prices? That’s even better than sex.