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Note: This post has been updated from its original version.
Radical environmentalist James Jay Lee held up hostages at gunpoint in the Discovery Channel building in Maryland today for several hours in order to make a statement about their programming. He had a long-documented history of protesting Discovery’s material.
At roughly 5pm EST, Lee, considered armed and dangerous, was shot by police in order to free the hostages. It was reported that the hostages were safe and Lee in custody.
Soon after, word was released that Lee was in fact dead from his injuries.
Sigh. Guess summer is officially over. Rough day back on the job.
Filed under: Abrupt Returns To Disgrace, Custody, Discovery Building, Discovery Channel, Discovery Gunman Killed, Environmentalism, Environmentalists, Gunman, Hostages, James Jae lee, James Jay Lee, James Jay Lee Dead, James Jay Lee Killed By Police, Maryland, Police, Protests, Summer Vacasian
We’ll be away from our desks the month of August, carrying on with the non-bloggy aspects of our lives, watching mindless movie blockbusters, and indulging in summery drinks made with generous pours of bourbon. During this month, we’ll be linking each day to a different website that we ♥. Hopefully you’ll discover something delightful and new while we’re gone. If not, you are a serious Captain Crankypants and are probably in dire need of a summery drink made with a generous pour of bourbon.
‘Til September, lovelies.
Summer shmummer. Guys, it’s too fucking hot in Los Angeles right now to do anything. Too hot to walk, too hot to think, too hot to blog, too hot to be nice. It is literally too hot for me to like anybody else’s site enough to send you there, so I’m breaking the DISGRASIAN vacasian rules.
Instead, I am sharing a video of a Japanese robot serving ice cream. It’s the only thing that can make me smile at this particular moment because I am COOKING INSIDE MY OWN SKIN. GOD HELP LOS ANGELES.
[YouTube: Yaskawa-kun Robot Sells Ice Cream In Japan]
Thanks, G Scott and Doug!
It’s August. It’s hot. And by golly, we’re kinda tired from bitchily bitching out all of the year’s most disgraceful sonsofbitches. That shit wears on a lady, yo!
And so, dear friends, we’re taking a one-month hating break. Call it a vacasian, call us lazian, but for the month of August you will not be reading politics and pop culture highlights through our foul-mouthed, yellow-tinted lenses of shame and disgrace. Instead, in our daily posts we’ll be sharing some stuff we actually like, and introducing y’all to a few of our pals.
And then we’re gonna hit the beach!
But fear not, haters! Come September, when all the kids are going back to school, we’ll be back to blog, shaming people with youthful fervor once more.
Diana and Jen
I’m one of those people who suffers a particular kind of anxiety–an irrational belief that things I care about will go to shit when I’m not watching over them. Disaster will strike, accidents will happen, something will go horribly wrong. You can imagine, then, how difficult it was, in a way, to go on vacation. Never mind that I have a brilliant, hilarious, and capable writing partner in Diana. I knew that she would, as we say around DISGRASIAN HQ, “hold down the fort.” That wasn’t the issue. It was more like, How am I going to unplug? What will I do without email and wifi? How will I live without the news? When I get back, will I remember how to write?
As it turns out, a weird virus did not devour the blog, my house didn’t burn down, nobody died (well, except Tim Russert). Gasoline did go up to $4.50 a gallon, but whatever. My vacation and time away from DISGRASIAN were sorely needed; I don’t want to end up like so many bloggers I know, with no life, no friends, no real experiences, or, worse, so much stress it kills you. That said, yesterday–my first day back–was rough. It didn’t help that I felt like somebody had walloped me with a sledgehammer and then propped me up on pins (fucking jetlag). Also, you take three weeks off, and you don’t know how you feel about anything in “real life” or what the line is between funny, pointless, base, and, worst of all, emo.
So, while trying to figure out the distinction between honest and earnest, I found myself on Bai Ling’s blog. (I realize that I just worded that like someone who gets busted by the popo and says, “And suddenly, I found myself with a tranvestite hooker’s mouth around my cock.”) Anyway, I went there because, after being gone for 3 weeks, I was curious as to what homegirl had been up to. And, more importantly, why through my sporadic interaction with world news, I hadn’t gotten wind of her usual bai-tshit behavior: shoplifting double-A batteries from an airport kiosk, slipping a nipple at a charity function, or wearing, say, a pink tutu paired with a triangle top made out of something weird like…bacon strips.
I learned from her blog that the reason you haven’t heard much from Bai lately is because she’s shooting a movie in Thailand.
Wait, Bai still makes movies? I also learned while I had the transvestite hooker’s mouth around my cock that Bai is quite the prolific…blogger. In 2007, the year she started her blog (like us), she had over 1000 posts. Just like us. In June 2008, she actually posted…MORE THAN DISGRASIAN.
BAI LING IS MORE PROLIFIC THAN WE ARE?!?
Let me put it another way:
BAI LING IS BETTER AT SOMETHING THAN WE ARE?!?
Dude, that is seriously fucked. The shame, the humiliasian. When I found this out, I wondered if it was possible to drink myself to death consuming Robitussin or if that would only make me act stupid like a high school kid at her first warehouse rave. Once I settled on the latter, I decided one thing, one thing for sure, which is that I’m NEVER going on vacation again.
Jen has passed off the baton and sent me packing my bags for a decompression vacasian in a secret locale in Mexico.
I hate to leave you all (especially Jen), and I’ll try to send some blog posts up to the ether, but the fact of the matter is that I won’t be writing much, because I’ll be passed out here:
Hey y’all! For the next three weeks, I’ll be checking in a little less because I’m off to Africa. I’m going on safari in Kenya, visiting a friend in Rwanda who’s helping to create stability and infrastructure there, and hitting the beach in Zanzibar.
Everyone keeps asking me if it’s safe in Rwanda, fourteen years after the genocide, and I want to assure you that it is. So don’t worry! Besides, I have all of my vaccinasians, just in case I get attacked by a swarm of virus-laden mosquitoes or accidentally step on a rusty elephant tusk. Most importantly, I’ve received the Yellow Fever vaccine, so there’s little chance I’ll wind up like this:
August must be the month when DISGRASIANS go on vacasian. Perhaps they can’t stand the heat. Earlier today, Diana and I discussed at length who our DOTW should be, and we were left scratching our heads.
My dad, who is a physics professor, always stressed the importance of math to one’s critical thinking. It was a bummer as a third-grader, when I was doing geometry workbooks and giving book reports on what I read in Scientific American over what seemed like an awfully short summer vacasian. But, in life, it’s come in pretty handy. So Diana and I decided to get out our No. 2 pencils and use deductive reasoning to find our DOTW.
Q: What is the most disgraceful thing happening on the planet?
A: Darfur. Iraq.
Q: Who is responsible for the most disgraceful thing happening on the planet?
A: The Sudanese government. President Bush.
Okay, let’s focus on what’s happening in our own backyard.
And that’s how we “problematized” our DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK. Like everyone else, we’re not buying the “I want to spend more time with my family” horseshit, and we’re sure we haven’t seen the last of Karl Rove’s White Man’s Puff. So let’s enjoy this little summer vacasian while it lasts.