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AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK: Dr. Peter Rhee, Surgeon Overseeing The Care Of Rep. Gabrielle Giffords

January 10th, 2011 | 5 comments | Posted by Jen

Name: Dr. Peter Rhee

Hails from: Pennsylvania, originally

Occupation: 24 year Navy Veteran and Military Surgeon, Chief of Trauma at the University Medical Center in Tucson

Let’s step away for a moment from the finger-pointing that’s ensued from all sides since the shooting in Tucson and appreciate this: Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords, who remains in critical condition after sustaining a gunshot wound to the head, and the others injured at Giffords’ political event who were also admitted to Tucson’s University Medical Center’s trauma unit have, at the very least, been in excellent hands since Saturday’s tragedy. Today, the LA Times profiled Dr. Peter Rhee, chief of trauma at UMC, who is overseeing the care of those injured in the shooting and has become an instantly recognizable face after giving updates on the Congresswoman’s condition to the media over the weekend and describing his medical team as “optimistic” about her recovery.

The LA Times reveals that Rhee, a 24 year Navy veteran, spent five years as the director of the Navy Trauma Training Center at Los Angeles County-USC Medical Center, where he “typically would treat 30 gunshot wounds a day.” The profile also notes that he served two deployments–one in Afghanistan and one in Iraq–as a military surgeon, treating “hundreds and hundreds” of battlefield injuries. In typical Hardass Asian-style, Rhee describes his time in Arizona, by comparison, thusly:

“Tucson is actually, for a trauma surgeon, very embarrassing and pathetic because violence is almost nonexistent. I know everyone in the country thinks World War III is going on in Arizona, but it’s probably still the nicest place I can think of to live.”

We don’t know about “nicest place,” but today you could call Arizona a fortunate one–for being able to count Dr. Rhee as one of its own.

[LA Times: Giffords' surgeon trained on the battlefield]

[photo by Chris Carlson/The Associated Press via LA Times]

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January 13th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Dear Myron,

I am writing today to begrudgingly extend a formal invitasian to you to join the tribe. Here is a brief overview of your accomplishments that helped sway our decision-making process:

  • First, ESPN rated you the number one high school football prospect in the country. This ranking, of course, didn’t at all factor in your pristine 4.0 GPA.
  • Then, you play Division I football at Florida State, at the safety position, my personal favorite.
  • Next, you graduate in two-and-a-half years, pre-med. Why, Myron, why? For shits and giggles? Because Orgo was just too easy for you? Jesus.
  • Then you decide to get a Master’s of Public Administration while finishing up at FSU.
  • And then you win the Rhodes.
  • BUT...what to do what to do? The NFL wants you. You’re projected to go in the top 49 picks!
  • Oxford? The NFL? Oxford? The NFL? Oh, to have your high-class problems.
  • Finally, you announce this week that the NFL will have to wait a year–I mean, who does that?–so that you can pursue your MA in medical anthropology, whatever the foos that is, and rub elbows with future world leaders and whoever is going to be your generation’s Kris Kristofferson.
  • Not to brag, but you tell the world that once your NFL career is over, you’re going to attend medical school and become a neurosurgeon, with the hopes of “opening up a clinic for the needy in the Bahamas,” where your family is from.
  • Also, you’re a beautiful, beautiful man.

Once this post goes up, thousands of Hardass Asian Parents around the country will be calling up their hospitals, wondering if they weren’t the victims of some cruel baby-switch and if you aren’t, in fact, their long lost son. Prepare yourself for the onslaught, the way a QB might protect his rib cage when he sees you coming on a blitz. (Never mind that you’re black and they’re yellow; Asian parents can be awfully convincing when they think they’re right, which is always.)

And thanks so much for making the rest of us look bad. Even though we think you’re actually a showoff jerk, we would still like to confer Honorasian status on you. Because, as the old saying goes, If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em to your hip, make ‘em play for your team, and don’t ever let go, or something like that.

So, whaddya say?

ever-so-humbly yours (and not liking it one damn bit),


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AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Major General Antonio Taguba

June 30th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Name: Major General Antonio Taguba

Occupation: Army Man and Truth Teller

Known for: Man-ing up, blowing the lid off of human rights abuses at Abu Ghraib, getting unceremoniously forced into retirement for doing the right thing, accusing the Bush administration of war crimes, looking really damn studly in uniform.

Thanks, Jasmine!

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BABEWATCH: Jake Shimabukuro

February 19th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Name: Jake Shimabukuro

Hails from: Honolulu, Hawaii

Occupation: Ukulele Stud

Why He’s a Babe: Because it takes a real man to play such a tiny instrument. Because ukuleles are cool and virtuosos are hot. And because what lady can’t resist a dude with “lightning-fast fingers”?

Watch Shimabukuro’s gorgeous interpretasian of “In My Life”:


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BABEWATCH: Coach Norm Chow

January 29th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Name: Norm Chow

Hails from: Honolulu, Hawaii

Occupation: Football Coach and Offensive Coordinator for the UCLA Bruins

Why’s He’s a Babe: Okay, we know what you’re thinking. 61 year-old Coach Chow a babe? Well, we think that 25 years of offensive coordinating, winning three Division I national championships (one with BYU, two with USC), grooming Steve Young and Heisman Trophy winners Carson Palmer and Matt Leinert, and possessing a doctorate in Education make Chow a hottie. To us, he has the rugged handsomeness of an old school stud, like John Wayne or Johnny Cash. And we give Coach props for having to deal with grade-A douche Pete Carroll all those years.

Someone give this man a friggin’ head coaching job already. Sheesh!


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Standing Ovasian

July 12th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Seattle Mariners’ superstud Ichiro Suzuki made history on Tuesday, hitting the first ever inside-the-park home run at an All-Star Game. He was later awarded the All-Star MVP by a very awkward, very dermatologically-pumped up Jeanne Zelasko.

Congratulasians, Ichiro! You rule.


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June 4th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Name: Ichiro Suzuki, but we mere mortals can call him Ichiro

Age: 33

Occupation: Outfielder for the Seattle Mariners

Known for: A single appellation, the longest hitting streak (25 games) this season, most hits (262) in a season, maintaining the highest batting average ever (.350) by an AL rookie, spectacular leaps in the outfield robbing batters of hits, never taking ‘roids, and never, ever disgracing the game of baseball.


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May 7th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Name: Corey Lee, but we mere mortals can call him “Chef”

Age: 29

Occupation: Chef de cuisine at Thomas Keller’s French Laundry, the only Michelin three-star restaurant in California

Known for: Winning the James Beard Foundation’s “Rising Star Chef” award in 2006–for the best chef under 30, reinventing The French Laundry’s exalted, 9-course tasting menu every night, innovating haute cuisine one mind-altering Foie Gras plate at a time

Chef Lee will be cooking with gas for the James Beard Foundation Awards Ceremony tonight.


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Game, Set, Match!

April 24th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Thai tennis stud Paradorn Srichaphan’s career may be in its twilight, but who cares when he just scored Miss Universe 2005, Natalie Glebova. The two recently announced their engagement in Bangkok.

Miss. Universe. Damn, Srichaphan. What are you packing in those tennis whites, exactly? You are a GOD.


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Booyao! Amazian Alert!

March 5th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Houston Rockets center Yao Ming returns to the starting lineup today against the Cleveland Cavaliers after being out for six weeks with a broken leg. Before Yao suffered the injury against my sad sack Clippers in December, he was having his best season ever, averaging 25.9 points and 9.4 rebounds per game.

Although Yao has a long way to go before becoming a dominant center in the NBA a la Disgrasian Hall-of-Famer, Shaq “Ching-Chong” O’Neal, he is our pick for this week’s amazin’ Asian, aka AMAZIAN.

I want to see him stuff King James and go off for a triple-double. Booyao!

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