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November 19th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

The New York Times published a story yesterday about a boot camp in South Korea called “Jump Up Internet Rescue School,” which purports to cure young web addicts. All the unhappy campers at this Outward Bound-ish rehab are teenage boys.

“This blows.”

One fifteen year-old, Lee Chang-hoon, who was sent to this camp because he was on the internet 17 hours a day, was described as “wet and shivering” during one exercise where he had to climb a telephone pole:

At the top, [Chang-hoon] slowly stood up, legs quaking, arms outstretched for balance. Below, the other boys held a safety rope attached to a harness on his chest.

“Do you have anything to tell your mother?” the drill instructor shouted from below.

“No!” he yelled back.

“Tell your mother you love her!” ordered the instructor.

“I love you, my parents!” he replied.

“Then jump!” ordered the instructor. Chang-hoon squatted and leapt to a nearby trapeze, catching it in his hands.

Geez. Talk about some Hardass Asian In Loco Parentis. Sure, some of these dudes sound like they got social probs, but aren’t they on the computer 17 hours a day because they haven’t gotten laid and are funneling their sexual frustrasians into WoW?

A better idea is to introduce these fellas to some ladies. Real live ones instead of those anime porn stars with circus tits that they “play” with online. The camp could teach them useful things like how to chat a girl up, properly use tongue, and unhook a complicated bra. Kinda like The Pick-Up Artist for teens. But instead, these poor guys are forced to stroke telephone poles? Aren’t they doing enough of that already?


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