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ROCK OF ASIAN: Less Talking, More Rocking, M.I.A.

June 24th, 2010 | 5 comments | Posted by Jen

Dear M.I.A.,

I know you’ve got a forthcoming album to promote, so you’re going to have to give a gajillion interviews loaded with controversial statements, so that blogs will have something to write about, so that Twitter will get a new trending topic, so that you’ll generate more buzz, so that the wheels will get greased, so that the whole machine behind making you a pop star will get cranking, but I’m going to need you to stop talking for a while, okay?

Because every time I read another interview with you, I like you less and less. And I like you a lot. And I’d like it to stay that way. But it’s kind of impossible when you say things like you’re living in Brentwood because you can’t afford New York. Not that I’m not curious about why you’re living in Brentwood. But, as HuffPo pointed out, real estate there goes for $636 a square foot. You know what would be revolutionary and guerrilla-style? If you said something like, “I’m a mom now, and Brentwood’s safe” or “I’m rich now, where do you want me to live?” or “I like how unchallenging Brentwood is, I don’t have to be cool here” or even something hilariously bourgie like, “I picked Brentwood because I fell in love with this particular house.” You want to get heads spinning? Tell me you’re a Westside–and, uh, I don’t mean in the 2PAC sense–soccer mom. But tell me you’re living in Brentwood because you can’t afford other places, and I want to punch you, as Diana would say, in the neckmeat.

You’re an artist and a storyteller, and we love it when you embellish the truth–as the GQ profile I’m talking about points out you often do–but we don’t like it when you’re dishonest, not so much in the factual sense, but in the emotional sense. So the only Continue reading ROCK OF ASIAN: Less Talking, More Rocking, M.I.A.

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John Mayer Apologizes For Having Diarrhea Of The Mouth By Having Diarrhea Of The Mouth

February 11th, 2010 | 4 comments | Posted by Jen

John Mayer apologized on stage Wednesday night for saying some racially-fucked things in that now infamous Playboy interview–like calling a “hood pass” a “n*gger pass” and saying he has a “white supremacist dick”–and made a special point of saying sorry to his back-up band members, most of whom are black (awkward!). Although he said he was done being “witty” and “clever,” and repeated over and over that he just wants to “play my guitar,” dude couldn’t stop trying to be witty and clever for over three minutes:

As much as we love a real, honest-to-God apology…DUDE SHUT UP ALREADY.

And the colored girls go,Doo-doo doo-doo-doo doo doo doo-doo-doo-we’re-so-stoked-you-have-a-white-supremacist-dick-doo doo-doo-doo doo doo doo-doo-doo-keep-plugging-chicks-like-Jessica-Simpson-doo-doo doo-doo-doo doo doo doo-that-is-so-fine-with-us-doo-doo doo-doo-doo doo doo doo-your-emo-sensitive-boy-MeMeMe-patter-gives-us-a-rash-doo doo doo-dooooooooo…

[NY Post: John Mayer apologizes, buying it?]
[Playboy Interview: John Mayer]

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