You are currently browsing posts tagged with Steven Seagal

Intern Jasmine’s Links Of The Daysian

July 16th, 2010 | 1 comment | Posted by jasmine




Ngu developments: Assistant Kayden Nguyen has dropped the sexual assault lawsuit she filed against former employer (and previous DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK) Steven Seagal. [CBS News]

Flywheel Sports no longer wants Tiki Barber‘s cheating ass to be their spokesperson, and–ouch–they’re also suing him for $1 million. [New York Post]

Gizmodo editor Jason Chen is finally getting his stuff back, as the San Mateo county DA is pulling the Gizmodo iPhone 4 warrant. Does he get a free iPhone case, too? [Boing Boing]

File under UNFUNNY STUFF: Joran van der Sloot is being investigated in connection with the disappearance of Thai women that occurred while he was in Bangkok, working as a recruiter for the sex trade. [The Enquirer]

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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Steven Seagal’s Sex Slaves Is A Great Name For An Indie Band, But…

April 16th, 2010 | 10 comments | Posted by Jen

No!  Steven Seagal’s Sex Slaves will not be playing Coachella this weekend!

Instead, Steven Seagal’s Sex Slaves are only a few of the accusations being brought against Steven Seagal in a civil lawsuit filed Monday in LA by 23 year-old Kayden Nguyen (pictured), who worked for the actor briefly in February.

Here’s what’s being reported:

All this is alleged, okay? So let’s not jump to conclusions. BUT. If we were to jump to conclusions, I’d say that some of the details revealed in this lawsuit are so bizarre–Seagal listed the job on Craigslist? He has the bank to fly private?! He has a weird corkscrew penis “unique physiological reaction” to arousal?–they almost have to be true. Can I picture Seagal saying “Relax, we won’t do anything special tonight…I’ll save that for another night” to Nguyen in that rapey hushed tone of his? Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Steven Seagal’s Sex Slaves Is A Great Name For An Indie Band, But…

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Oh, To Be a Kid Again

September 10th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Y’know, if Oprah had been searching for “America’s Smartest and Most Talented Kids” when Jen and I were younger, we would’ve had that shit in the BAG!

Instead, she waited. She waited until 2008. I have to say, I’m confused–if I wanted to find America’s smartest kid, I’d just call up the United Federation of Teachers and say, “Give me your Asians!” and then just pick the cutest one with the sharpest bowl cut, and call it a day.

Let me just tell you, Best Week Ever just pulled a clip of one of Oprah’s “smartest,” and I can already see that this search is a terrible idea. The results ain’t lookin’ too pretty.


Agh, people… PEOPLE! I can already envision your angry emails: “He’s just a kid, you ornery bitch! Leave him alone!” and “Learning physical discipline takes a lot of smarts!” and “White kids doing martial arts are rad!”

Yeah, yeah. Whatevs.

Listen. I can spot a future Steven Seagal when I see one. Are you ready for another, Oprah fans? ARE YOU?

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Thanks, jRu!

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