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Flywheel Sports no longer wants Tiki Barber‘s cheating ass to be their spokesperson, and–ouch–they’re also suing him for $1 million. [New York Post]
File under UNFUNNY STUFF: Joran van der Sloot is being investigated in connection with the disappearance of Thai women that occurred while he was in Bangkok, working as a recruiter for the sex trade. [The Enquirer]
No! Steven Seagal’s Sex Slaves will not be playing Coachella this weekend!
Instead, Steven Seagal’s Sex Slaves are only a few of the accusations being brought against Steven Seagal in a civil lawsuit filed Monday in LA by 23 year-old Kayden Nguyen (pictured), who worked for the actor briefly in February.
Here’s what’s being reported:
- The job was listed on Craigslist as an executive/personal assistant position
- Once she got the job, Nguyen was flown on a private jet from LA to NOLA, where Seagal was filming A&E’s Steven Seagal Lawman, an INCREDIBLE reality show about Seagal serving as a deputy sheriff in Jefferson Parish, Louisiana
- She discovered on her first night that Steven Seagal already had two Russian sex slaves who were on-call, 24/7
- Nguyen’s lawsuit says Seagal “treated Ms. Nguyen as his sex toy” and assaulted her three times
- The lawsuit also says that she can identify a “unique physiological reaction” that Seagal has to sexual arousal
- Seagal is married and his wife was around when Nguyen was allegedly assaulted
- Other victims are coming forward
- In 1998, Jenny McCarthy said in an interview that Seagal told her to strip during an audition
- That same year, nine women told Penthouse magazine that Seagal had sexually harassed them
All this is alleged, okay? So let’s not jump to conclusions. BUT. If we were to jump to conclusions, I’d say that some of the details revealed in this lawsuit are so bizarre–Seagal listed the job on Craigslist? He has the bank to fly private?! He has a
weird corkscrew penis “unique physiological reaction” to arousal?–they almost have to be true. Can I picture Seagal saying “Relax, we won’t do anything special tonight…I’ll save that for another night” to Nguyen in that rapey hushed tone of his? Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Steven Seagal’s Sex Slaves Is A Great Name For An Indie Band, But…
Filed under: Creepfest, Creeps, Disgrasians of the Weak, Kayden Nguyen, Sexual Predators, Steven Seagal, Steven Seagal Jenny McCarthy, Steven Seagal Lawman, Steven Seagal Lawsuit, Steven Seagal Sex Slaves, Steven Seagal Sex Toy
Y’know, if Oprah had been searching for “America’s Smartest and Most Talented Kids” when Jen and I were younger, we would’ve had that shit in the BAG!
Instead, she waited. She waited until 2008. I have to say, I’m confused–if I wanted to find America’s smartest kid, I’d just call up the United Federation of Teachers and say, “Give me your Asians!” and then just pick the cutest one with the sharpest bowl cut, and call it a day.
Let me just tell you, Best Week Ever just pulled a clip of one of Oprah’s “smartest,” and I can already see that this search is a terrible idea. The results ain’t lookin’ too pretty.
Agh, people… PEOPLE! I can already envision your angry emails: “He’s just a kid, you ornery bitch! Leave him alone!” and “Learning physical discipline takes a lot of smarts!” and “White kids doing martial arts are rad!”
Yeah, yeah. Whatevs.
Listen. I can spot a future Steven Seagal when I see one. Are you ready for another, Oprah fans? ARE YOU?