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Chink In The Stands, An Asian American Fan’s Notes

February 27th, 2012 | 28 comments | Posted by Jen

I sat down to write about the fallout that’s ensued since ESPN editor Anthony Federico wrote that “Chink In The Armor” headline a little over a week ago, and I ended up with a bunch of stories about myself. In some ways though, I think these notes better articulate my frustration and anger over many of the conversations that have taken place about Jeremy Lin with regard to race than explicit words to that effect would have. Or maybe I just really like talking about myself.

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For most of my life, I’ve been a sports fan. I was born and raised in Texas, so it was mandatory. More to the point, I was born and raised Chinese American in Texas. I couldn’t look like my peers, I couldn’t be accepted as an equal by many of my peers, but I could root for the same teams as my peers. And somewhere deep down, I probably figured that if I could demonstrate the same devotion to the idols of my peers, they would eventually come around to the idea that I wasn’t all that different from them, and perhaps even accept me as one of their own.

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My father arrived in College Station, Texas from Taiwan in 1965 on a student visa. Continue reading Chink In The Stands, An Asian American Fan’s Notes

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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Brazilian Soccer Team’s Chink-Eye Ad

August 5th, 2011 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

I don’t know much about soccer, but I think we can all agree it’s an international sport. It’s the world’s most popular sport, for one thing. And the sport’s crowning event, the FIFA World Cup, is a tournament with over 200 participating nations, and, consequently, the world’s most-watched sporting event.

“Real football” is also a game governed by international rules. Rules Brazil’s Santos FC broke this week when an ad was revealed featuring some its top players “celebrating” the fact that the 2011 FIFA Club World Cup will be held in Japan later this year.

This is sort of astounding when you consider Brazil is home to the largest population of people of Japanese descent outside of Japan. And while apparently there are a number of Brazilians on the interwebz defending Santos FC’s use of the chink-eye as a gesture of affection–sound familiar?–this ad still gets a red card.

Law 12 of the International Football Association Board's Laws of the Game clearly states a player can be sent off the field for "using offensive, insulting or abusive language and/or gestures"

Even if the chink-eye isn’t considered offensive in Brazil–which I find hard to believe, Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Brazilian Soccer Team’s Chink-Eye Ad

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Gimme An F! Gimme An I! Gimme An E! Gimme An R! Gimme A C…

June 29th, 2011 | 5 comments | Posted by Diana


As many of you know, I was a cheerleader in high school, and naturally have a soft spot for all things cheerleading. It’s dance, performance and sport in one package, guys. Can’t hate!

But I’ve always been pretty meh when it comes to male cheerleaders. No, I don’t think they’re weenies–quite the opposite. I fully appreciate how instrumental they are in taking cheer stunting and performance to the next level–their strength and athleticism as bases and tumblers totally change the whole game.

But that’s also my issue with cheer dudes. Typically male cheerleaders are extra tough and robot-stiff on the dance floor/field/court/stage… perhaps to prove that, although they do hold megaphones and point a perky “number one” in the air, they’re still swinging big dicks or whatever. They never use pom poms, which are quite possibly my FAVORITE thing cheer has to offer (I challenge you to think of anything happier than a silvery, sassy pom pom!). They wear completely different outfits from their female counterparts, usually primary-hued polyester pants (which is respectable and kind of unavoidable but also violates the uniformity of a squad’s overall look, a result that irks me on an endemic level. I mean, cheer pants?! Whatever!) that suck.

Male cheerleaders can make the argument that they are cheerleaders solely to put their strength and athleticism to work, while getting to shove their hands into the shadowy crevices of the world’s most perfect thighs. But few are on cheer squads to dance and cheer for cheer‘s sake. Not all, but most. And by golly, if somebody’s leading me to cheer, I want it to be for CHEER’S SAKE!

Anyway. The context of my opinion on male cheerleaders is only the tip of the iceberg Continue reading Gimme An F! Gimme An I! Gimme An E! Gimme An R! Gimme A C…

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Be A Good Lazy Sport

November 16th, 2010 | 1 comment | Posted by Diana

Jen and I love sports, hate cardio. So if an activity can be described as both “Parkour… for those who can’t be arsed” and “the lazy person’s urban navigation sport,” we’re like, BINGO! We have found our game. And it’s called the Lying Down Game.

So okay, the game is actually quite simple. From the official Lying Down Game Facebook group:

There are two aims:

1) The more public the better
2) The more people invlolved the better.

Please be aware that the palms of your hands must be flat against your side and the tips of your toes pointing at the ground. Just as if you were standing, but vertically challenged. FACE DOWN!

And that’s it! Photos are submitted to the Lying Down Game site to be crowd tested (although, beware, a couple of toolbags have gotten in trouble for posting questionable Continue reading Be A Good Lazy Sport

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BABEWATCH: Samurai Blue

June 8th, 2010 | 5 comments | Posted by Diana

There are an infinite number of reasons that we love Phil over at Angry Asian Man. But today, the primary reason is that he posted this photo (large version here) of the Japanese World Cup Soccer Team (affectionately known as “Samurai Blue“) in slim-fitting SUITS. It comes from an ad featuring the athletes, slickly peddling a a team-inspired blue tie:

Let's kick it

I’m an enthusiast and/or stickler about most sports… but I really don’t know shit about soccer, except that soccer players are fuzzin’ HOT. I love their endurance, their swagger, their abs, the strength of their broad shoulders, the speed of their sprint, their perfectly muscled and meaty legs, the fact that they don’t so much as take a timeout to get an eye gushing with blood stitched up on the field sidelines. I am to soccer players as my dog is to bully sticks. Add a well-tailored suit into the mix and I might just pass out from the hot, hot heat.

And hell, if it got TOOOOOO hot, we could just get some burly Asian firemen in the mix to wave their big water hoses all around and cool us all down! Water everywhere and no shirts on!! Everybody’s chiseled physiques just firm and warm and moist to the touch!!!!!!! And while we were at it we would film everything!!!!! Multiple camera angles!!!!!!!!!!!! The footage would live on forever!

…Wait. Am I talking about this photo or my pervy dreams? Both?

[via Angry Asian Man]

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Thanks, Joanna and Cindy! ;)

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Cotton Candy, Sweet And Low, Reprzentasian In The Super Bowl!

January 25th, 2010 | 7 comments | Posted by Diana

THE SAINTS ARE FINALLY GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Keep your eyes on amazian linebacker Scott Fujita (aka “Asian Assassin”) when they do.

Damn


That’s not actually asking much. Last night, during the NFC Championship shootout/battle royale/best game of the season, it was hard to look at anything else. When Fujita wasn’t putting pressure on Brett Favre, he and Anthony Hargrove were tackling him hard.

Continue reading Cotton Candy, Sweet And Low, Reprzentasian In The Super Bowl!

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Just A Slice

August 13th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Unlike all-star Jen, I stunk at baseball-related activity as a kid. I even blew chunks when it came to T-ball, where my only responsibilities were to whack a sphere off a still podium (straight to the pitcher… if not the catcher), and make occasional motions towards lone grounders that happened to make their miserable way to the out-out-outfield where I spent my time picking dandelions and daydreaming about slugger Garrett Hawkins.

I hated playing ball. If, like me, you had the coordination of a zygote and the attention span of a goldfish, it was boring as sin. And even though I spent my evenings cheering on my older sisters, who all consistently made all-stars and pitched nail-biters while I clutched my “lucky” George Brett mini-bat, I really didn’t understand shit about the game. ZzZZZzzzZzzz.

As an adult I’m finally beginning to understand the beautiful nuances of America’s pastime, which is far more than just a game; instead, an ongoing, arduous test of focus and human steel. But that wouldn’t have made me any more interested as a tot.

If only the game had been a simpler one, with a rock solid result from every swing. Something I could’ve wrapped my tiny little head around. A game I could’ve seen and understood without so much as thinking. Something like…

Dude, I could have KILLED at Samurai T-ball. Absolutely KILLED.

Thanks, Chris!

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Bad Call

July 29th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Respect for sports arbitrators are typically structured into the game itself. In baseball, for instance, respect for the umpire is built upon a tacit understanding; a player unhappy with a strike call can grumble all he wants, but the minute he turns around to confront and disgrace the ump, there’s gonna be T-R-O-U-B-L-E. In basketball, technical fouls can take a person out of the game, screwing up everything for the remaining lineup.

Still, I’ve always worried about the safety of sports refs–who at all times are making unpopular decisions in somebody‘s viewpoint–which is why I’m so glad that in American football, the refs (like my favorite python master, Ed Hochuli, pictured below) tend to be as burly as the players themselves.

Ed Hochuli, selling tickets to the gun show. Pow pow!

But in the NFL, the odds of a defensive lineman taking out a ref aren’t high–any idiot attempting to lay a finger on a man in stripes would get slapped with a pocketful of 7-figure fines so fast, their heads would spin. Few things, after all, speak louder to an NFL player than the voice of $$$.

Perhaps my conditioning to relatively good behavior in the company of referees explains the shock I felt eyeballing this CNN video– a clip of Tianjin football players pursuing and basically attacking a ref after a match in Beijing.


Thank bejeezus the man in blue had some legs on him–but the players in the vid could really stand to learn a lesson about sportsmanlike conduct. Sore losing is just shameful. Hell, I know Asians love to win, but shit–don’t we also care in excess about honor and pride?

[CNN Video: Footballers attack referee]

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Thanks, Chris!

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AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! The Korean Women’s Field Hockey Team

May 5th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


Name: Korean National Women’s Field Hockey Team

Occupation: (see above)

Known for: last weekend’s victory over the Italian team to qualify for the Olympic games in Beijing this summer. Keep your eyes on Mi Hyun Park, MVP of the qualifier match. Actually, take a look at all of them–who knew that field hockey players could be so cute besides Kim Deal?

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AMAZIANS OF THE WEEK! China’s Table Tennis Teams

March 3rd, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


Who: The Men’s and Women’s Table Tennis teams of China

Occupation: World-competitive Table Tennis Teams

Known for: seizing the World Championship titles this weekend in both male and female contests, showing the world that “China duz it better”–especially with paddles.

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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN!

October 11th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Happy 18th birthday, Michelle Wie! We know we’ve been a little tough on you in the past, but hey, you’re a superstar and you can take it.

OMG, we just realized that you’re a superstar and you’ve only just turned 18 and you’ve got no worry creases or laugh lines or drinker’s pooch or nicotine stains on your teeth yet, just a career and millions of dollars and the limit of the sky. Ugh. We feel nauseous. We feel old. We feel jealous. We hate you all over again.

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Is There a Definition for B-List in the Dictionary?

August 27th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana
“Celebrity Couple” Vanessa Minnillo and Nick Lachey
at the Richard Karn Celebrity Softball Game in Tacoma, WA

VANESSA: So wait, why are we here again?

NICK: It’s a celebrity baseball game. We’re the celebrities.

VANESSA: Oh. Well you were in, like, a second-tier boy band in the early 2000s.

NICK: Vaness, don’t start with me. You’re just a former beauty queen. So was Delta Burke.

VANESSA: I was an MTV Veejay!

NICK: So was Jesse Camp.

VANESSA: Oh my god. We’re nobodies.

NICK: No, baby. We’re somebody! For instance, I partly-own this baseball team: The Rainiers.

VANESSA: Who?

NICK: The minor league team.

VANESSA: Minor league? Who watches the minors? Who cares if you partly own a minor team? It’s not like you’re Jerry Buss or something.

NICK: That was fucked up. I can’t believe you just said that.

VANESSA: I know, sweetie. I’m sorry. Okay, so if this is a team, then why are we playing?

NICK: It’s a celebrity game.

VANESSA: Ooh! Where are the other celebrities?

NICK: Uh.

VANESSA: They’re US?

NICK: What are you trying to say?

VANESSA: Oh my god. Can we go to Koi or something when we get back to LA? I’m having a meltdown. I thought you were raising my stock.

NICK: What stock?

VANESSA: My stock! My stock! I want to have a higher StarMeter score on IMDB!

NICK: Listen, we’re being photographed. We’re going to be on WireImage like ka-ray-zee tomorrow.

VANESSA: Really?

NICK: Really.

VANESSA: People care about this shit?

NICK: Sorta! Nobody really has anything better to do!

VANESSA: Where are the cameras?

NICK: There. [points] And there.

VANESSA: Then…

VANESSA (cont’d): …Take that, Jessica. This shit better be in US Weekly. Do I look happy and carefree? It’s baseball!

NICK: Mrrnnmmph!! Take the picture!!!

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