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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Facebook Turns 6
It’s hard to believe that Facebook was launched six years ago today–where did the time go?
Oh, that’s right. Facebook ATE it.
It sucked it, wasted it, and frittered it away with its poking and SuperPoking and its Zombies and Vampires and those virtual gifts we actually spent non-virtual money on and its middle-of-the-night defriending sprees and its putting your Mom on limited profile once she joined so she wouldn’t see all of your stoned pics and its Scrabulous and Scrabble and Mafia Wars and its 25 Things list and other oversharing memes and its secret groups and Fan Pages and Doppelgänger Week–oh, Doppelgänger Week, how we loved thee–and [deep breath] that thing it was actually designed for, connecting with people or whatever, finding old classmates/childhood friends/colleagues/exes you were happy to see had gotten fat yada yada, and flirting with strangers.
Good lord. Now that we think about it, what did we do before Facebook filled our lives with all of this, well, filler? Like, actually talk to people? Weird.
Filed under: Birthdays, doppelganger week facebook, Facebook, Facebook Friends, Facebook Memes, facebook turns 6, Mark Zuckerberg, Social Networking
BREAKING NEWS!!! Tila Tequila Is A Twitter Quitter
Holy shit. TILA HAS STOPPED TWEETING.
Wait. That’s not breaking news. That’s not even news!!! What the fuck is wrong with us? Maybe we’ve been watching too much CNN these days or something.
(Proceeding to flog selves)
[E!: Tila Tequila Turns Off Twitter]
Source
Thanks, Jasmine!
Filed under: Celebrity Twitter, Celebrity Twitterers, Finally, Internet Omnipresence, Shut It Down, Social Networking, Tila Tequila, Tila Tequila Cancels Twitter Account, Tila Tequila Is Batshit, Tila Tequila Twitter
He Said WHAT?! Obama Has Never Used Twitter
The internetz is spazzing out today over a bomb Obama dropped Sunday at a town hall meeting of university students in Shanghai, the third stop on his Asia tour. When asked if the Chinese should be able to “use Twitter freely”–Twitter and Facebook are both blocked in China–our president, who has 2.6 million followers on the social networking platform, said:
Well, first of all, let me say that I have never used Twitter. I noticed that young people — they’re very busy with all these electronics. My thumbs are too clumsy to type in things on the phone.
Obama also addressed those little matters of censorship and human rights, calling freedom of expression and religion “universal rights” before the Chinese government-selected crowd, but never mind that.
The takeaway here, OBVS, is that Obama has never used Twitter. Because all the blogs are talking about it, it’s become, like, this big internet meme overnight, and it’s one of the hottest trending topics on Twitter at the moment, right up there with “bad romance,” the Lady Gaga single, and “Stephen Jackson,” a recently-traded basketball player.
You know, like the stuff that really matters?
[ReadWriteWeb: Obama: "I Have Never Used Twitter"]
Filed under: China, China Censorship, China Human Rights, Important Stuff, Obama Asia Tour, Obama I Have Never Used Twitter, Obama in China, Obama Shanghai Town Hall, President Barack Obama, Social Networking, Trending Topics, Twitter
Too Much Twittering Turns You into an Unfeeling Douchebag
Scientists at USC have found that too much Twittering and exposure to streaming news bulletins and information on social networking platforms inures people to pain and suffering.
“If things are happening too fast, you may not ever fully experience emotions about other people’s psychological states and that would have implications for your morality,” said researcher Mary Helen Immordino-Yang.
In other words, Twitter turns you into a self-centered d-bag. Considering the popularity of celebrity blowhards like Shaq, Ashton Kutcher, and Tila Tequila on Twitter, the science is probably sound.
But doesn’t this also seem like the digital age’s version of “Heavy Metal Records Make You Kill Yourself,” and won’t it drive more kids to Twitter who are looking for a way to give the finger to Mom and Dad? Like, “Give me Tweeting, or give me death”? Boy is that a depressing thought.
Unless those kids sign up for Twitter and follow us. Then, you know, it’s all good, said self-centered d-bags Jen and Diana.
Filed under: Ashton Kutcher Twitter, Celebrity Twitterers, Shaq Twitter, Social Networking, Tila Tequila Twitter, Tweets, Twitter, Twitter Is The New Black, Twitter Teenage Rebellion
