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Guess We Don’t Have to Wait

November 10th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

And here I’ve been holding out for 2011 to enjoy the joyous, slightly-epileptic, seemingly-possessed kung-fu poses of Jack Black on the Red Carpet!

Sooner than you thought: Jack Black at the DVD launch
for ‘Kung Fu Panda’ at Grauman’s Chinese Theatre

Lesson learned: Why wait for a film sequel when there are, uh, red carpet events to celebrate just about anything! Like, um, DVD releases?

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Shedding the Baby Wasian

November 7th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana
Good genetics, not Nintendo

The Internet is just buzzing today with the “news” that Angelina Jolie is miraculously shedding her baby weight by doing virtual Pilates on her kids’ Nintendo PS.

From the SF Gate:

A family insider reveals, “The kids were convincing her that video games were more than just fun. They explained to her that you can do anything from practice math to learn to read music and exercise.

“She tries to get in an hour of Pilates three times a week. She’s picking it up pretty quickly and is already at the hardest setting.”

Jesus H., does this “family insider” have something to learn or what? Aside from cultivating yet another obnoxious Hollywood lie (not unlike “I just lose all the chub running around with my kids!”), purporting that Jolie would strive to do low-rent Pilates on the “hardest setting” instead of get a trainer, and that her kids would bother to use their game console to “practice math or read music” as opposed to “shoot shit up“–it’s sloppy, just sloppy.

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Thanks, Jen!

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This Can’t Be Kea-News

August 8th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Hot damn, nothing, and I mean NOTHING must be going on in the world today (What’s a war? And a food crisis? And an imminent depression cycle?) for this to be headline news in the celebrity blogosphere:


I mean, jeezus, I’m a big proponent of personal hygiene, and find any waxy buildup on anything to be absolutely repugnant–but I really just don’t want to spend one single moment of the day looking into anyone’s orifices (whether they’re cake farting (NSFW) or just getting into their Porsche). Not even on the Interwebs.

For the record, I’ve given the earwax evidence photo one good, long look, and I just don’t see the wax. Maybe I don’t have my glasses on, or maybe the search is just too banal, but I really just don’t see it… Ok, ack, maybe I do see it. EWW. How wet and waxy!

Keanu is one of those fun, purty, mixed-race pups–a charming combination of mostly English, with Hawaiian, Chinese, Irish, and Portuguese. Inside I’ve always wondered which “part” of him dominated– is he basically a Euro-Canadian dipped gently into Polynesian and East Asian flavorings, like a Dairy Queen cone (In other words: Dude’s mostly white, but it’s the Asian parts that make him yummy)? Or is he really a yellow man at his core, with a slight penchant for Jack Johnson and the word “brah”?

Of late, I’ve kind of assumed he was leaning more towards his yellow side. Heck, he dates a woman named China, for chrissake. At least, we think he does

But remember the NYT story from a few years back? How Japanese scientists identified an earwax gene that identified Euro/Afro earwax as wet-waxy, and East Asian earwax as dry? Well, if that’s the case, I guess our man cannot physically deny that he is mostly wet and waxy, and therefore a Dairy Queen cone.

THE EARWAX HAS HELPED ME FIGURE HIM OUT!

Um.

Yeah.

Wow, if ever a massive cultural low could be accomplished by just one person, one lone Asian blogger with a foggy brain and a slight lingering crush on Keanu (from the Speed days, of course), it just happened.

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