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The World Health Organization’s fearless leader, Margaret Chan (who, incidentally, I’m totally fascinated by) just announced that it has raised the alert level of swine flu to Phase 6–making it the first influenza pandemic of the 21st century.
Now before y’all get your antibacterial panties in a bunch, let’s talk about what this alert means. Phase 6 refers to the geographic spread of the flu, not the severity of the ailment. So although it may be reaching out across territories, you’re overall more likely to get killed by a car accident or the regular flu (Hmm. It’s never comforting for someone to say “you’re more likely to get killed…” is it?).
Chan says, “We have good reason to believe that this pandemic will be of moderate severity, and we know from experience that severity can vary on many factors from one country to another.”
So let’s try to relax. And think about more important things.
Like… how now seems to be a perfect time to break out the HELLO KITTY FACE MASKS!!!
Filed under: Alert Levels, Cuteness, Face Masks, Fashion Bungles, Hello Kitty, Hello Kitty Face Masks, Influenza, Margaret Chan, Pandemics, Panic, Sick Days, Swine Flu, W.H.O., World Health Organization
Oh Vanessa Hudgens, you pretty little tartlet, whatsamatter? Are you knock-knock-knockin’ on Heaven’s door with a virus, like me? Do you have a soft spot for those O.G. sweatpants with the elastic hems because you find that they truly can be cute and comfortable (except, I will argue, when they are seventeen sizes too big), like Jen? Did you have a Jamie-Lynn Spears scare this week? Did Zac Efron make out with your brother?
Tell me, girlfriend, cuz you’s lookin’ such a mess. I want to help you, mostly because I’m worried about all the shluz and bactaria your sweatpant folds are collecting from the ground (that’s the clean-freak dad in me talking), but also because I’d simply like to see you smiling again. Give me a call. I’ll have a pint of Ben & Jerry’s at your house in a hot minute.