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When Worlds Gently And Mindfully Collide

February 19th, 2010 | 2 comments | Posted by Diana

His Holiness the Dalai Lama with President Barack Obama, at the White House, on February 18.


OBAMA: It is good to finally meet you here, your Holiness. Thank you for coming.

DALAI LAMA: It is good to see you, President Obama.

OBAMA: Your good friend Sharon Stone called the White House today nine times in anticipation of your arrival.

DALAI LAMA: She is–what do you call–a hoot. Very good intention, but very hot mind.

OBAMA: Indeed.

DALAI LAMA: (leaning in) And of course, as nuts as a bowl of almonds.

OBAMA: Yes!

[gently, they chuckle]

OBAMA: Your job seems… challenging.

DALAI LAMA: Your job also seems challenging. However, this is a good test for you.

OBAMA: It is. I believe that that ultimately, the American people are good. We all want to benefit humanity, just go about it in different ways.

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This Could Cut Into Sharon Stone’s "Free Tibet" Donasians

July 31st, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


Page Six reported yesterday that NY attorney Ming Hai recently served Sharon Stone with legal papers documenting her intent to sue the actress on behalf of over 1,000 Chinese earthquake victims, for harm by suggesting that the disaster was “karma.”

The price of the damages? A billion.

Damn, Gina. That’s a pretty penny, and perhaps slightly more than she’s made in residuals from Basic Instinct over the last 16 years. We suggest that she pivot her “do-good” fundraising energy and start selling LOTS of auctionable meet ‘n greets with direct proceeds to a “Save My Wretched, Botched, and Lost Face Foundation.” Stat.

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Solidarasian

July 3rd, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


We don’t always see eye-to-eye with the activism efforts of PETA’s aggressive (nutjob) leader Ingrid Newkirk, but that doesn’t mean we don’t sometimes play for the same team.

This week, Newkirk sent Stone (and her agent at ICM) a letter containing a truly thoughtful offer. Allow us to provide an excerpt:

I am writing with an offer that could provide an opportunity for you to escape all future public condemnation when you show insensitivity to the suffering of others.

Given that millions of people – including children – were killed, injured, and left homeless by the recent earthquake in China, everyone was shocked to hear you dismiss the devastating effects of this disaster. However, your cavalier attitude did not come as a surprise to us. We are used to the indifference that you flaunt and the callous remarks that you make about the suffering and death of the animals whose fur you wear so often.

Scientific studies suggest that the prefrontal regions of the brains of people who lack empathy might be underdeveloped. Here’s our offer: Would you allow PETA to pay for a scan of the prefrontal region of your brain to determine if comments and actions that seem to demonstrate a lack of empathy are the result of a physical defect?

Ms. Newkirk, we’ve consulted ourselves and our dads (doctors of science and medicine) and we all think you may be on to something. We believe so wholeheartedly in this cause, that we’d like to offer to pay half of whatever the cost of Stony McStonerson’s brain scan.*

We can’t think of a cause more worthy. Finally! Answers!

*this offer subject change in light of DISGRASIAN bank account standings. We will probably charge this on our maxed-out AmEx and then call the creditors citing fraud. But hey, it’s the thought that counts, right?

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Tore Up Fasian

June 30th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


Dear Sharon,

Are you on your way to the funeral for your career as a sexpot? Or is yours the beat-up, tired, sad face of a woman who got her ass handed to her by the entire country of China? If so, remind me never to get up in their grill, ever. You look like shit, and I sure as heck don’t wanna.

All best,
Diana

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Karma Police

May 29th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

After assessing the financial hit they might take–from a few million angry Chinese folks with a penchant for luxury items–after the face of their brand tossed last week’s tragic earthquake off as “karma” for the Chinese/Tibetan conflict, Dior apparently got their heads on straight and pulled all ads containing Sharon Stone’s crazy face from China.

The NY Times reports:

Dior released a statement in which Ms. Stone apologized, saying: “Due to my inappropriate words and acts during the interview, I feel deeply sorry and sad about hurting Chinese people. I am willing to take part in the relief work of China’s earthquake, and wholly devote myself to helping affected Chinese people.”

So Stone hurt the Chinese people, even though she “doesn’t think that anyone should be unkind to anyone else.” And then she got publicly shamed by the media and lost her lucrative endorsement deal?

Hmm. Is that karma?

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Thanks, Bryan!

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Pathwaysians to Self-Righteousness

May 27th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Zhang Ziyi may be happy: One actress made a point at The Cannes Film Festival to discuss her groundbreaking awareness of the earthquake horrors that had just occurred in China. It looks like wacktors and wacktresses know what’s going on the world after all!

Sharon “Not Just Stupid But Crazy” Stone vomited up this pile when asked whether or not she knew that the quake had occurred:

Here’s a transcript, just in case you can’t handle her face and voice at the same time:

“Of course I have. Well you know, it was very interesting because at first I am, you know, not happy about the way the Chinese are treating the Tibetans, because I don’t think anyone should be unkind to anyone else. And so, I have been very concerned about how to think and what to do about that because I don’t like … that.

And then I’ve been, this, you know, concerned about, oh, how should we deal with the Olympics, because they’re not being nice to the Dalai Lama who is a good friend of mine. And then all this earthquake and all this stuff happened, and I thought, is that karma? When you’re not nice that the bad things happen to you?

And then I got a letter from the Tibetan Foundation that they wanted to go and be helpful. And that made me cry.”

My, what incredible insight and mind-boggling influence! Not only is Stone a famous (aka important) actress (aka genius), but she’s tight with the Dalai Lama (aka popular!) and an emotional (aka melodramatic) self-sacrificing philanthropist (aka self-congratulating sad soul that feels the need to justify an empty existence by aligning herself with do-good trends) speaking her mind to the public!

Although, hmm. There’s just something–and I haven’t quite put my finger on what it is–about nonchalantly attributing a natural disaster that has killed tens of thousands and displaced millions of Chinese citizens… to karma. A massive “punishment” unleashed upon innocent citizens as payback for the decisions being made by their ruling Communist government.

I mean, I guess she could’ve just blamed the gays–like Hagee did after Katrina, or Robertson and Falwell did after 9/11. But that would have been outlandish, insensitive, stupid, and wrong!

Huh.

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Prayer Hands Are So 2007

December 17th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Speaking of Prayer Hands, the Dalai Lama just completed an 11-day trip to Italy, during which His Holiness met with fellow Nobel peace laureates like Mikhail Gorbachev and Lech Walesa in Rome.

And thus, a new zzZen trend is born…the ill-fitting, foam visor! I expect these to be in every Hollywood goodie bag come “award season” and on the peace-lovin’ noggins of Richard “How Did a Hamster Get Up in” Gere and Sharon “Her Sliverness” Stone in no time.

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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! The Dalai Lama Foundation

November 9th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

We get it: The Dalai Lama is hip. The Dalai Lama is cool. The Dalai Lama is Hollywood.

Don’t get us wrong– We love His Holiness so very much. Hell, we’ve busted China’s chops in his defense.

Our ears perked up when we found out that this week, we could actually buy the official car of the 14th Dalai Lama on eBay, for the minimum bid of $75k. How bitchin’ would that be?!? We imagine that somehow its peaceful vibes could remedy one’s road rage, and probably make that person’s skin look great (this is not confirmed).


So we started digging into our annual Chanel clothing fund and got ready to make a bid. Why not? We’re writers; We could totally benefit from some fresh air and off-roading in a holy vehicle.

And then we looked more closely at The Dalai Lama Foundation’s latest auction: the *bonus* to your buy? A meet-and-greet with this botox-faced wacko:

Er, we’d rather have a date with her facialist. Jen and I have no space in our lives to visit with the woman who pioneered the modern age for an upskirt epidemic, in honor of peace.

Guess we’ll have to stick to raging in the Volvo. Oh well. We enjoy it.

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