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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Cheaters (Jesse James, et al.)

March 19th, 2010 | 8 comments | Posted by Diana

Beloved Singaporean film director Jack Neo was dubbed “Singapore’s Tiger Woods” this week after his girlfriend of two years–a 22-year-old model/actress that had played bit parts in some of his films–confronted his wife and spilled her story to tabloids. The mistress, Wendy Chong, is just five years younger than Neo’s marriage of 27 years.

For whatever reason, Neo’s wife, Irene, has decided to stay with her husband. She joined him at a press conference and tearfully made a statement about her decision, begging for forgiveness, support, and the public’s blessing. Neo had already stated, “Please give us a second chance.”

As she exited the room, Irene Neo collapsed in sobs and had to be carried out.

Meanwhile, the American Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods, announced that he would be returning to professional golf to compete in the Masters. That’s big news, but not so big as the newly-posted sexts that his former porn star flame, Joslyn James (a woman who dances with the same sultry, poultry flourish as DISGRASIAN hall-of-shamer Bai Ling) has unveiled on an official promo website.

Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Cheaters (Jesse James, et al.)

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A Shot at Marriage with Tila Tequila

August 28th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Guest Contributor

by Guest Contributor Intern Jasmine of This Is Jasmine:

Apparently, somebody proposed marriage to Tila Tequila this month.


There it was on her (now protected) Twitter stream, and you know if it’s on Twitter, it must be true, right?

While Tila Tequila is, in fact, the person I believe is doing even less for Asian-American women than Michelle Malkin, I guess that doesn’t mean she isn’t entitled to martial bliss. In fact, Jen and Diana wondered if maybe DISGRASIAN™ shouldn’t send over a present or something to congratulate the happy couple, an attempt to bury the hatchet for a little while. Frankly, I thought the money could be better spent on a present for me, their devoted intern, but I’m trying to be a better person. So I set about looking for the perfect gift with a minimum of whining.

What do you get for VH1′s premiere reality show fame ‘ho? As she is, supposedly, the queen of the internet, I went a-Googling for some clues. While Tila’s Twitter is now hidden, pics posted to Twitpic from her Twitter are still available. Pictures of her “bow pams” (read: her boobs) and celebrity pals like P. Diddy aside, there really wasn’t much to help me figure out what would make the best gift. Would a media mistress like her do something so pedestrian as actually register for presents?

She would! She did! It’s right here!


I forwarded the registry to Jen and Diana, who were just as surprised as I was. Jen handed over the DISGRASIAN™ credit card, warning me not to spend more than $75 and not to buy anything that I couldn’t return.

Tila was smart enough to list a number of items at various price points, because, you know, bloggers are a budget-conscious crew. The registry obscured the identity of her groom, alas – he’s listed as “Tilo Tequila” on the registry. Who is this dude? Is he so much more famous that the sheer knowledge of his identity as the groom would turn all of our worlds upside down? There weren’t a lot of “manly” things on the registry anyway–many of the gifts seem targeted towards her, um, taste. Unless I’m wrong and the size 5 clear heels from “Exotic High Heels” are actually for the groom (Tila’s comments below are italicized):

“CLEAR HEELS ARE THE LITTLE BLACK DRESS OF YOUR FEET.
THEY GO WITH EVERYTHING.”

Can’t argue with her there. I mean, clear heels are a reality tv fashion “do,” right?

Tila also registered for some white lingerie, which sounded so sweet:

“PERFECTO! I need a wear a costume to be a virgin bride, LOL.

Oh dear. You can accuse Tila of a lot of things (believe me, I know I do) but you can’t say she doesn’t have a sense of humor.

Other items on the list that caught my interest:

“TILA LOVES SMOOTHIES AND THINGS THAT VIBRRRRRRATE!”

“I want ‘my first time’ as a married woman to be ELEGANT & CLASSY.”
“NO COMMENT! LOLZ!”
“Blu contacts on an AZN? Not natural but SUPERNATURAL! These are my ‘something blu’!!!!!”

The Magic Bullet and the sheets strike me as being normal gifts, the kind of stuff you’d see on anybody’s wedding registry. But the Magic Wand Massager? That’s a little intimate, though I suppose in 2009 it shouldn’t surprise a prude like me that ladies would not only have them but think to put them on registries for other folks to see in the first place.

Part of trying to be a better person is challenging one’s norms. So I guess I’m settling on the Magic Wand Massager as a gift to Tila and her Mr. Tequila-to-be. Weirdly, there’s an option on Amazon to buy this used, a thought I entertained for five seconds, being a budget-conscious blogger myself (plus, it’s kinda funny, no?). But I don’t think I could bring myself to buy a used vibrator massager for anybody–no matter how gross I thought they were–not even for Tila Tequila.

[Tila Tequila Wedding Registry]

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Tila Tequila Is a Smart, Coherent, NY Times-Reading, Possible Party-Switching Beheaded Martyr

May 28th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

I think it’s wonderful that Tila Tequila is finally doing something with her celebrity, by appearing in a NoH8 PSA released this week in response to the CA Supreme Court’s disappointing ruling on Prop 8 and blogging her support for gay marriage (for which she has received quite a bit of grief, see below).

Does this signal the dawn of a new-and-improved Tila Tequila? Well, after reading Tila’s blog post, “My Thoughts on Prop 8 Situation,” and her Tweets that followed, I can confidently conclude the following:

Tila’s a MARTYR FOR THE CAUSE!

The first thing I did was make a few tweets about it on my twitter page(www.twitter.com/OfficialTila). Immediately, I received an outpouring response from angry people. I felt as though I was being burnt as stake or beheaded for voicing my opinions, and I still stand tall in my beliefs. I guess times have not changed much because I very much so believe that this is TODAY’s version of “beheading” someone. Some people even had the nerve to call me “RACIST” for whatever their reasoning is just because I was disapointed in PRESIDENT OBAMA in his decisions for not supporting Gay Marriages.from Tila’s post, “My Thoughts on Prop 8 Situation,” reposted to Global Grind


She’s the VOICE OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE!

Now may I ask you all, what is the point of being in the “PUBLIC EYE” if you don’t have a voice or use that medium and take advantage of that outlet to speak your mind? I am not trying to harm anyone, nor am I trying to start a War. I am simply trying to voice my opinions on why I believe it is important for all human beings to have Equal rights. No where else in this world can I come to a new country as an immigrant, and yet be able to build a platform for myself, becoming an AMERICAN CITIZEN and having the ULTIMATE AMERCAN DREAM! Where else in this world can I enjoy such fresh freedom such as I do here? Only in AMERICA!from “My Thoughts on Prop 8 Situation,” reposted to Global Grind

She’s a PARAGON OF COHERENCE!


She’s a NY TIMES READER!


She’s a FUTURE REPUBLICAN!


She’s…she’s…

Wait, what were we talking about here? Something having to do with gay marriage? I got so distracted thinking about martyrs, beheadings, Joan of Arc, the fact that I haven’t read the NY Times today (unlike some other very smart people), and tooting one’s own horn, I totally spaced on the real subject at hand.

[Global Grind: "My Thoughts on Prop 8 Situation.."]
[Tila Tequila Official Twitter Feed]

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Might As Well Face It, You’re Addicted To… Us?

January 6th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Ordinarily, we would support rehab for Internet addiction–’cuz too much Interwebs probably is kinda bad for you–even if we don’t support methods like repeated playing of the “If You’re Happy and You Know It” song, or forced playing of board games “in person” (like, why in God’s name would you dick around with real Scrabble tiles when Facebook bingoing is so nice and neat and easy?) or running around outdoors.

Good times

But then, it’s like, if we cure Asian Internet addicts, that’s just a whole group of peeps that might not spend 24 hours a day, 7 days a week reading DISGRASIAN, or sending tips to us at DISGRASIAN HQ, or poking us on Facebook, or reading our MySpace posts, or rocking our RSS feed.

We just simply cannot have that.

So, no–ultimately, we do not support rehab for Internet addiction.

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Thanks, Jasmine!

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It’s Official: We’re In A Rec-Asian

December 1st, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


It has been declared, finally, by the National Bureau of Economic Research: the U.S. has been in a recession since December 2007.

Jeez, we’re super smart– we called it a long time ago! (Then again, so did all of the average-brained folks, so I guess that’s not saying much.)

So, what to do in such times of financial crisis? Cry? Drink? Steal? We could do like Warren Buffet and invest in American products. And I’m sure I don’t need to remind you, but DISGRASIAN is American. And y’know, “investing” in us is pretty much free–just click on over, and freely imbibe in the sweet/salty liquor of our shaming!

Enjoy the free fun of DISGRASIAN, day in and day out. It’s free! Did I mention that it’s free?

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A Year Without Morons Talking about China–Dare to Dream

July 2nd, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Sara Bongiorni, Suburban Mom From Hell, recently wrote the book A Year Without “Made in China.” Its premise, where one typical American family tries to live for a year without any goods made in China, sounds really smart on paper, and seems to be tapping into the “buy local” movement, which I strongly support. Now watch this interview with Sara:

So what exactly is the point of a boycott of Chinese goods when you are buying goods made in Italy, Germany, and Thailand? Reuters reports:

Bongiorni takes pains to say she does not have a protectionist agenda and, despite the occasional worry about the loss of U.S. jobs to overseas factories, she has nothing against China.

“I wanted our story to be a friendly, nonjudgmental look at the ways ordinary people are connected to the global economy,” she said in an interview before the book appears in July.

Bo-ring and bullshit. Take a stand if you’re going to take a stand.

Oh, and you have mice in your house? Gross. And you’re trying to trap them with water bottles and a tuna can? Good fuckin’ luck.

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