DISGRASIAN™

Threesomes And Pageants Go Together Like Ramma Lamma Lamma Ka Dinga Da Dinga Dong

By now, you’ve likely heard about the just-leaked threesome sex tape (WARNING: previous link extremely, extremely NSFW) featuring Miss Trinidad & Tobago (Anya Ayoung-Chee), her boyfriend Wyatt Gallery, and a close friend that is NOT, as previously alleged, Miss Japan.

Missing from this screen grab: Ponytail guy

The video was snatched when Gallery dropped off his laptop for repair at a Trinidad computer shop, and quickly made waves this week throughout the Internet pervosphere.

I won’t lie. I watched the video twice–even though I knew it was wrong, fueled by my disappointment in Carmen Electra’s newly-”leaked” sex tape, which was a bra-filled snoozefest. And I must say, that Miss Trinidad knows how to party!

Seriously, though… what did Wyatt Gallery ever do to deserve such an incredible stroke of luck (the threesome, not the leak)??? Perhaps he frequently helps little old ladies across the street. With his penis.

[TMZ: Miss Universe Contestants In Three-Way Sex Tape]

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Filed under: Anya Ayoung-Chee, Beauty Pageants, Guilty Pleasures, Laptops, Leaked Tapes, Luck Be Two Ladies Tonight, Lucky Bastards, Miss Japan, Miss T&T, Miss Trinidad & Tobago, Miss Universe, Miss Universe Contestants Nude, Miss Universe Japan, Mistasian Identity, NSFW, Scandals, Sex, Sex Scandals, Sex Tapes, So So Wrong, Three-ways, Threesomes, Trinidad, Whoopsieeee

Meester’s Sex Tape Afoot?

Leighton Meester is the most recent celebrity to find herself embroiled in a juicy sex tape scandal (As if nude photos of Rihanna weren’t enough to tide all you dirty voyeurs for the summer!)–oh, the gossip storm!

With the Season 3 premiere of Gossip Girl nearly three months away, the surfacing of the tape seems ill-timed for an intended publicity stunt, convincing me that Meester had no role in the video going public; she simply has a dick ex-boyfriend looking to make a quick buck off of the fact that he once tapped a young actress’s arse.

And so my heart breaks a little for the poor girl–although not because she got busted screwing on camera (which is pretty much her own irresponsible, 21st century problem).

But I can appreciate how much of a fucking bummer for her it is that she will heretoforth and forever (at least by modern standards) be regarded as a “footjob” queen. FOOTJOB!? What a mortifying way to make a porno debut.

[via The Hollywood Gossip]

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Filed under: 21st Century Problems, Actresses, Badges of Shame, Embarrassing, Exes Suck, Footjobs? WTF?, Heartbreaking, Leighton Meester, Personal Lows, Quick Bucks, Scandals, Sex Tapes, Whoopsieeee

Paris Keeps Us Busy

Paris Hilton is apparently so devastated by Rick Solomon’s sex tape betrayal (an incident that resulted in her entire “career”), that she can never trust a man again. There she is, pictured above, not trusting a man in her “Stars Are Blind” music video.

And here’s me, the very first Asian person ever to be stumped– having spent all morning asking myself how Paris Hilton has defied the age-old Theory of Evolution and why she isn’t laying around “expired” somewhere. Like on her bathroom floor. Because she forgot to breathe in. And then out. Then in again.

And of course, here’s Jen, playing the world’s smallest violin:

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Filed under: Musical Instruments, Not Smart People, Paris Hilton Should Expire, Sex Tapes, Stump the Asian