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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Is Swinging Criminal?

May 21st, 2010 | 10 comments | Posted by Diana

A lot of people find swinging couples to be reeeeeally ewwwwwwwwwwy. I don’t mind ‘em so much. After all, what do I care? If a couple likes to screw lots of other couples, that’s their thing. And certainly, gettin’ busy is fun—why wouldn’t doubling, tripling, quadrupling up on the busy be even more fun? I imagine those great ’70s pornos where everybody’s scattered around a snow cabin, playing Boggle in their bellbottoms and tight sweaters, then suddenly everyone is naked and muffdiving and moaning like crazy on the floor in front of the fireplace–that shit is AWESOME.

Okay, swinging is probably not good for monogomy (at least according to Dr. Drew), but hey, neither is extended business travel. Or social networking.

My only real problem with swingers is that the only real-life swingers I’ve ever met have been criminally ugly and/or kinda creepy. When I was in college, a person invited me with a cheap business card and a latte order to attend a swingers night, and I swear he was Golum.

So wait. Does this guy look criminally ugly to you?

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So You Think You Can Dance?

June 8th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Reuters reports that parents in China are in a tizzy about compulsory dance lessons that have been introduced to schools in an effort to curb the growing epidemic of childhood obesity:

“An Education Ministry notice this week said seven sets of dance steps had been designed for schoolchildren of different ages to perform during class breaks or extra-curricular time.

The new programme, released in the wake of media reports about rising obesity and declining physical activity among the country’s schoolchildren, had alarmed some parents, the Beijing Morning Post said, citing a report in the Shenzhen Evening News.

‘Middle and primary school students mature early these days and children can easily develop curious feelings,the paper quoted a woman surnamed Wang, who fretted for her newly adolescent daughter, Xiao Meng.

‘Male and female students cuddling each other every day could easily lead to issues with them developing feelings,’ Wang said.

‘Schools adding exercises is a good thing, but the waltz is not necessary.’”

Good god. Seven awkward dance moves counts as “cuddling? ” No wonder my mother wouldn’t pay for my sex den hotel room after Prom.


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