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Can somebody please ask this young’un to–as my parents would say–stop “enjoying life” and stick to real work, like learning calculus?
He may try to be humorous, but–as my parents would say–all we see is failure.
I typically love most of what our friend at Slant Eye for the Round Eye posts on his blog, but not today. Nope, today, he posted (with a disclaimer, natch) a new Funny or Die vid starring the most horribly un-hilarious comic ever, Dat Phan:
As we mentioned last week, Kristi Yamaguchi has been leading the pack of this season’s Dancing With the Stars cast since they burst out of the gate.
This week marks the third in which Yamaguchi rocked a score of triple nines, an impressive display that allows her to hold on to her lead for both the episode and the current overall. I dunno about you, but I’d be patting myself on the back–gently but repeatedly–for such stellar scores right about now.
…But we all know that an A-minus average isn’t enough for the gold medalist, right? Here’s her take:
“‘I’m still kind of racking my brain, but I think I definitely need to take it to another level emotionally and within my face to get the performance to another level,’ said Yamaguchi.”
TRANSLASIAN: “My parents watch the show and call me up after every episode, telling me that I should practice harder, stretch more, work longer. My mother won’t let her friends tune in until I start getting tens. She told me: ‘Dancing with star, world championship, olympic, same thing! You should get perfect score!’ I won’t rest until I see ’30.’ I hate myself so frickin’ much right now.”
This week, DISGRASIAN’s favorite cuntdit Michelle Malkin posted “Meet the GOP Immigration Drag Queens” on her site and took Huckabee, Giuliani, and McCain to task for changing their stances on illegal immigration, the bee in Malkinbitch’s bonnet. She called Huckabee “a shameless border control cross-dresser” and wrote:
Bad enough that the Democrat candidates are still stuck in a 9/10 mentality on the nexus between immigration and national security. The question for conservatives is: Would a Republican immigration drag queen be any better — or worse?
Oh Malkinbitch. People ask us all the time why we don’t write about you more, and we’re happy to tell ya: 1) because you are the right-wing House Oriental, and when we read your blather, er, blog, all we see is a chick tryin’ to make a fast nickel instead of someone with real conviction, and 2) we really can’t stand looking at those terrifying teeth of yours; they give us nightmares.
But don’t go bringin’ cross-dressers and drag queens into the debate like they’re a bad thing. First off, we’re pretty sure that any drag queen worth her Adam’s Apple could kick your scrawny ass without lifting a french tip. Also, drag queens are awesome and most of them a lot hotter than you. Here are examples of some smokin’ he-bitches, for future reference:
Experiencing some self-loathing, perhaps?