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I’m An Asian Woman And I Think Blog Posts Defining That Identity By Who Someone Like Me Would Or Wouldn’t Date Are Bullshit

September 26th, 2012 | 16 comments | Posted by Jen

Is there a worthwhile discussion to be had about interracial dating and relationships?

The answer seems to be no, if you’ve paid any attention to posts written on the subject that have been blowing up my little patch of the Internet lately. Of course I’m referring to “I’m An Asian Woman And I Refuse To Ever Date An Asian Man” by Jenny An, and the clickbait-y response to An’s clickbait-y call, “I Am An Asian Woman And I Think Asian Boyfriends Are Superior (Well, Mine Is Anyway),” by Clarissa Wei, both published on xojane, a site to which I’ve contributed.

Simply put: I’m An Asian Woman And I Think This Conversation Sucks.

First things first. I don’t give a fuck who these women fuck or, really, what any woman chooses to do with her own vagina. Because it’s her own vagina, get it? And because it’s her own vagina, she doesn’t need to justify what she does with it. It should go without saying that a woman can do whatever she wants with her own body. But when she feels the need to explain why she does what she does with it, which is what these posts boil down to for me, she’s just playing into this very old and very male idea that a woman needs to justify what she does with her own body because, ultimately, she doesn’t have authority over, I repeat, her own body. Sound familiar? It should (see: “the war on women”).

The other problem with these posts is that they put race and gender at odds with one another, like they have this mutually exclusive relationship, and you have to choose one or the other to have some kind of cohesive identity. If you believe An’s argument–which she later backpedaled on, calling it “a character” designed to provoke discussion–as an Asian woman, in order to reject “patriarchy and cultural sexism,” you have to be a racist dick and Continue reading I’m An Asian Woman And I Think Blog Posts Defining That Identity By Who Someone Like Me Would Or Wouldn’t Date Are Bullshit

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