DISGRASIAN™

When Worlds Gently And Mindfully Collide

His Holiness the Dalai Lama with President Barack Obama, at the White House, on February 18.

DALAI LAMA: It is good to see you, President Obama.

OBAMA: Your good friend Sharon Stone called the White House today nine times in anticipation of your arrival.

DALAI LAMA: She is–what do you call–a hoot. Very good intention, but very hot mind.

OBAMA: Indeed.

DALAI LAMA: (leaning in) And of course, as nuts as a bowl of almonds.

OBAMA: Yes!

[gently, they chuckle]

OBAMA: Your job seems… challenging.

DALAI LAMA: Your job also seems challenging. However, this is a good test for you.

OBAMA: It is. I believe that that ultimately, the American people are good. We all want to benefit humanity, just go about it in different ways.

Continue reading When Worlds Gently And Mindfully Collide

Filed under: Book Smart, China, Chinese Government, Dalai, Epic Meetings, His Holiness, His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Intelligence, Opposition, Photo Ops, President Barack Obama, President Obama, Right Wing Nutjobs, Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, Sharon Stone, Smarts, The White House

BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Sarah Palin

Happy birthday to Sarah Palin, who turns 46 today!

Age ain’t nothin’ but a number, right?

Here are some other numbers to chew on on this special occasion (cuz we’re Asian, and we love math):

Continue reading BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Sarah Palin

Filed under: Age Ain't Nothin' But a Number, Conservatards, FOX News is a Joke, Going Rogue, Sarah Palin, Sarah Palin 2012, Sarah Palin Birthday, Sarah Palin FOX News, Sarah Palin Is Not Qualified To Be President, Sarah Palin Unqualified

America Would Certainly Be Palin For It

Before she took the stage at the Tea Party Convention, Sarah Palin told Chris Wallace of Fox News that she was open to running for President in 2012.

Were she to run (the words “Palin” and “win” and “2012″ should never be spoken or imagined in concert), I think Jen and I would need about 579 guest blogging friends to help us deal with the onslaught of American shame. We simply couldn’t cover that amount of content. Our fingers would melt.

[NY Daily News: Sarah Palin Leaves Door Wide Open For Run For President In 2012]

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Filed under: 2012 Presidential Election, Chris Wallace, Fox News, Horrifying Thoughts, Pretentious Statements, Sarah Palin, Sarah Palin Presidential Run, Sarah Palin Run For President 2012, Tea Party Conventions

We’re Employed Through The Year! (Sarah Palin Joins Fox News)

You never know, as garbage-feeding bloggers, whether or not you’ll get fucked by the wrong famous-for-nothing going sober or the world’s worst couple getting divorced. Will you run out of sordid news fodder? What might you have to complain about? Will your blogging career be downgraded to a month-long series of clever Facebook status updates and a few choice tweets? Oh lordy, the stress!

So it’s always good to know that the world will soon be hit by a fruitful period of shame, therefore guaranteeing you good work for months and months to come (dare I say it–years?).

Imagine my relief, friends, when I saw this breaking news today:

Turn the volume down

[CBS News: Sarah Palin Joining Fox News as Contributor]

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Filed under: All the Wrong Career Moves, Bad for everyone, Bloggers, Conservatards, Fox News, FOX News is a Joke, Phew, Sarah Palin, Sarah Palin Is An Idiotic Cunt, Sarah Palin Pundit, Unemployment

DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! 2009

If you are one of the people that thought last year was UH-MAZING, and was sad to see it go as the clock ticked down to midnight on December 31, you are a very special human being. You should also go kick yourself in the shins–2009 was a stinker for most of us, and your joy just makes people mad.

Okay, look. At least this happened:

Goodbye to the Aughts, or "Era of Shame"

But so did this:

Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! 2009

Filed under: 2009, 2010, Barack Obama, Disgrasian of the Weak, Going Rogue, Looking Back, President Barack Obama, Sarah Palin, Tiger Woods

Sarah Palin Makes Us Uncomfortable

A young Sarah Palin’s reason for spending only one semester at the Hawaii Pacific University is under debate after The New Yorker’s Sam Tanhauser revealed this gem of info in a comparison of Palin’s autobiography, Going Rogue: An American Life, and Scott Conroy and Shushannah Walshe’s career examination, Sarah From Alaska:

She is equally circumspect on the issue of ethnicity, pointing out that Todd, whom she met in high school, is “part Yupik Eskimo” and opened her to the “social diversity” of Alaska. (Wasilla is more than eighty per cent white.)Palin, though notoriously ill-travelled outside the United States, did journey far to the first of the four colleges she attended, in Hawaii. She and a friend who went with her lasted only one semester. “Hawaii was a little too perfect,” Palin writes. “Perpetual sunshine isn’t necessarily conducive to serious academics for eighteen-year-old Alaska girls.” Perhaps not. But Palin’s father, Chuck Heath, gave a different account to Conroy and Walshe. According to him, the presence of so many Asians and Pacific Islanders made her uncomfortable: “They were a minority type thing and it wasn’t glamorous, so she came home.” In any case, Palin reports that she much preferred her last stop, the University of Idaho, “because it was much like Alaska yet still ‘Outside.’ ”

Continue reading Sarah Palin Makes Us Uncomfortable

Filed under: Alaska, Autobiographies, Chuck Heath, Conroy and Walshe, Discomfort, Going Rogue, Hawaii, Hawaii Isn't Glamorous? And Idaho Is??, Idiots, Minority "Things", New Yorker, Pacific Islanders, Sarah From Alaska, Sarah Palin, Sarah Palin Father, Sarah Palin Uncomfortable, Too Many Smart People, Toxic Humans

Sarah Palin Gets Shorty

Sarah Palin is hopping mad about the image of her that Newsweek used for their recent cover, stating that the photo (originally taken for a profile in Runner’s World) taken out of context is “sexist.”

Texting and running--someone should ticket for that

Sexist? Or just stupid? In my humble opinion: after the age of 22, taking any public photo in shorts is downright irresponsible. I don’t care who the hell you are, what job you’ve got, how great your gams are, how fast you are on a Blackberry, or how many times you wink at me. Not a good idea.

[HuffPo: Sarah Palin: Newsweek Cover Showing My Legs "Sexist" (PHOTOS)]

Filed under: Blackberry, Fitness, Fitness Gear, Irresponsibility, MILFs, Newsweek, Runners World, Sarah Palin, Sarah Palin Newsweek Cover, Sarah Palin Short Shorts, Sexist Spin is so '08, Short Shorts, Things Women Over 22 Should Not Do, Unholy Magazine Covers, ZZzzzZzZzZZzzzz

Levi Johnston Won’t Be Showing His Wang After All

Apparently, $35,000 isn’t enough money to show your wang for.

After promising full-frontal in his upcoming Playgirl shoot–and having his Baby Mama’s mama, Sarah Palin, accuse him of doing “porn”–Levi Johnston got shy and canceled his wang’s scheduled appearance in the magazine. Semi-nude shots of Johnston will still be posted on November 21, and a teaser pic was released Tuesday:

Wang or no wang, Gay Icon status, here he comes!

[photo via HuffPo]

[US Weekly: Levi Johnston "Did Not Go Full Frontal" in Playgirl Shoot]

Filed under: Baby Daddies, Bristol Palin, Cockteases, Gay Icons, Levi Johnston, Levi Johnston Full-Frontal, Levi Johnston Playgirl, Levi Johnston Porn, Levi Johnston Wang, Sarah Palin

DISGWITTER OF THE WEAK! Levi Johnston’s Wang

Levi Johnston’s life is finally catching up to his porn star-looks.

The 19 year-old’s been tapped to pose for Playgirl (they still publish Playgirl?) on November 16, and judging by his Twitter page, he’s getting paid $35,000 to do so:

And the question is…

Continue reading DISGWITTER OF THE WEAK! Levi Johnston’s Wang

Filed under: Fame Whores, Gay Icons, Levi Johnston, Levi Johnston Nude, Levi Johnston Playgirl, Levi Johnston Wang, Playgirl, Playing with Wangs, Sarah Palin, Twitter

Typhoon Palin Expected to Make Landfall in Hong Kong This Month

Take cover, Hong Kong. Typhoon Palin’s about to hit your shores.

CNN reports that Sarah Palin will be the keynote speaker at Hong Kong-brokerage firm CLSA’s Investors conference on September 23 (past speakers have included Al Gore, Bill Clinton, and Alan Greenspan). It will be the first trip to Asia for the 45 year-old, ex-Alaskan governor, who famously bragged during the presidential campaign that Alaska’s proximity to Russia gave her foreign policy street cred.

The Atlantic Monthly wondered what Palin will have to say in Hong Kong, and beyond “bless your hearts,” “maverick,” “hockey mom,” “um, um, well, um,” and “real women obliterate wolves from planes,” we were wondering the same thing ourselves.

[The Atlantic: Palin Goes to Hong Kong...What Will She Say?]

[UPDATE: Business Insider suspects this speaking engagement may be a practical joke. On Palin.]

Filed under: Aerial Wolf Hunting, Articulate People, Hockey Moms, Hong Kong, Hot Messes, Huh?, Sarah Palin, Sarah Palin to Hong Kong, STFU, Well-Traveled People

Smooth Move, Ex-Lax

Seriously, CNN?

In your next Ticker poll, will you be asking people whether or not grass is still green?

[CNN: Palin's Move Not Smart, Says Poll]

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Filed under: Are We Still Talking About This Woman?, CNN, Palin's Moves May Be Smooth But They Are Never Smart, Polls, Really Dumb People, Sarah Palin

Make Your Brain Hurt: Sarah Palin’s Facebook Page

Unlike my more tolerant friends (yes, YOU, G Scott and Norman), I can’t watch Fox News every day or even listen to the raving lunacy of Limbaugh once in awhile, just to be sure I’m on top of every single word that the right wing nutjobs are sputtering. Sometimes I just don’t want to know. I can’t deal. It hurts my soul, all that shouting and all of those incessant jokes.

But the flurryfaloo that resulted from the “death panel” comment former Governor of Alaska Sarah Palin posted on her Facebook last week piqued my interest somehow, and awakened that tiny part of me that intentionally smells sour milk–especially as I kept reading the following excerpt:

“The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama’s “death panel” so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their ‘level of productivity in society,’ whether they are worthy of health care. Such a system is downright evil.”

This statement, by the way, has been deemed by non-partisan fact checker PolitiFact is “pants on fire” false. And if DISGRASIAN had a Shame-O-Meter on our site, we’d definitely have to tag this one as “downright shameless.”

It all got me wondering. What’s a “civilian” like Sarah Palin up to on Facebook, anyway? Does she play a ton of Scrabble? Does she give $1 gifts to friends, like AK-47s and cartoon bibles? Does she start membership groups for “Parents of babies with Down Syndrome who refer to those babies only as ‘babies with Down Syndrome’ as if they aren’t, simply put, babies” or “People for Palin 2012?”

But upon further investigation, I realized, it’s all about Sarah’s Facebook wall:

…and I, uh, I immediately remembered why I don’t listen to these nutjobs. Why bother getting upset about those stupid “Nazi’s” and their feelings about “Obamma” and “Hillry?” Why??

[Facebook - Sarah Palin]
[PolitiFact.com]

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Filed under: Bad Spellers, Exploiting That Baby Again, Liars, Obama "Death Panel", Pants on Fire, Right Wing Nutjobs, rumors, Sarah Palin, Sarah Palin Is An Idiotic Cunt, Shameless