DISGRASIAN™

Sex And The City 2: Shameful Or Spectacular?

Look, guys! It’s a photo from the Tokyo premiere of Sex and the City 2!

Oh YOU. Don’t hate. (HA! Look who’s talking!)

I’m going to say this once even though I know that many of you won’t believe me, many more will scoff, and even more will ridicule me for it:

THE MOVIE IS NOT THAT BAD.

I saw it last Thursday, fully convinced it was going to be a stinker–likely for the same reasons as you: Your best friend walked out of the theater grousing about what a drop-kick to feminism this flick is (by the way, should we really be looking to movies that contain bedazzled logos for feminist benchmarks?). The 16% Rotten Tomatoes rating is simply… pathetic. The “I Am Woman” karaoke scene is worse than it sounds (in fact, every musical number is worth a cringe). Someone told you about the burqa escape scene (sadly, true) and multiple appearances/mentions of camels/magic carpets (also true).

Or you saw the first movie, which was downright abysmal.

But by golly, I’ll stand behind my statement. SATC2 is fun, familiar, and a worthwhile way to spend a few evening hours, especially for a die-hard fan that’s willing to watch the PG-macheted, syndicated reruns on TBS every night while ordering dinner (or owns an SJP fragrance). That, my friends, is who I am. Jen is like, my full-on bestie, and even she has only just begun to understand the extend of my SATC nerd-dom. I’m like a Trekkie, but for Sex (or as Jen’s best mate calls us, “sluts!”)

So if you are like me, you love the HBO series unconditionally–despite Miranda Continue reading Sex And The City 2: Shameful Or Spectacular?

Filed under: Aidan Shaw, Alexandra Fong, Amazian Jr., Burqas, Carrie Bradshaw, HBO, Neuroses, Nonsense, Not So Bad, Romps, Sarah Jessica Parker, Sex and The City, Sex and the City 2, Sex and the City Movie Sequel, SJP Fragrances, Sluts, Taking a Hating Break, Trekkies

Isn’t It F*cking Lovely? Isn’t It F*cking Wonderful?

The first time I saw this picture of The Fucking Lovely Salon, which sits in Itaewon district of Seoul, and was featured on Buzzfeed today, I thought: “How sweet!”

Because every person wants to look or feel at least a little bit lovely–lovely like arranged flowers, or a spring day, or the scent of a Sarah Jessica Parker perfume. Why not step that up a bit, and feel really fucking lovely? Sounds awesome!

But then I started to think about the times I’ve used the phrase “fucking lovely”–and I can’t say it’s ever been for anything good, pretty, scented, or sweet. In fact, it usually slips out of my mouth like this: “Oh! Well isn’t that fucking lovely?!”–accompanied by a scowl and an abrupt hand motion towards the fucking lovely thing in question–when something really crappy is happening:

Like when I see a parking ticket on my car.
Or an ex at a party.
Or dog shit on the sidewalk in front of my house.
Or two really hideous teenagers dry humping in the park.
Or a girl’s ass cheeks hanging out of the back of her skirt as she’s sitting down to dinner in an otherwise civilized restaurant.
Or some small-dicked asshole blowing through a stop sign when a little old Asian lady with a shopping cart is puttering across a crosswalk.

So maybe the cuts at The Fucking Lovely Salon aren’t that great. Unless dog shit on the sidewalk has changed.

[Buzzfeed: The F*cking Lovely Beauty Salon]

Thanks, Jen!

Filed under: Changes in Meaning, Exes Suck, Hair, Inflection, Korea, Not So Good, Sarah Jessica Parker, Small Dicks, The Fucking Lovely Salon, Very Bad Things, Weird Korean Behavior

BABEWATCH: Alexandra Fong

SJP and Alexandra Fong from Sex and the City: The Movie

Last week, our friend Slanty wondered who the little girl playing Charlotte’s adopted Chinese daughter, Lily, in the Sex and the City movie was and why wasn’t she listed in the IMDb credits. We asked around and not even a friend who worked on the movie knew her identity.

Well, mystery solved! Her name is Alexandra Fong and, by the look of things, she’s making her big screen debut in the film, which opens May 30. Though we’re willing to wager that Alexandra, with those ridiculously squishy cheeks and that adorable pouty-face, is poised to steal the show from her grown-up co-stars.

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Filed under: Adoption is the New Black, Alexandra Fong, Babes in the Literal Sense, Sarah Jessica Parker, Scene Stealers, Sex and The City, Squishy Cheeks

Time For A Liu Break

Cotton Candy Distraction

I realized today, while my eyes danced, semi-embarrassed, over the above image of Lucy Liu (in Valentino at the designer’s Paris show), that as long as she is working the starring-in-a-Sex-and-the-City-knockoff-means-I-am-a-fashion-icon angle, I can’t talk about her. There is simply nothing nice to say, besides stating she is beautifulzzZZZzz but always manages to look sillyZzZZzz, and some horses need just be left dead but not beaten.

What’s to say? She’s not this…

Cotton Candy Perfection

…and I guess she never will be.

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Filed under: A Moratorium on Lucy Liu Digs... For Now, Cashmere Mafia, Cotton Candy, Knockoffs, Sarah Jessica Parker, Sex and The City, Stupid Fashion Trends, Ugly Dresses

AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Victorya from Project Runway

Name: Victorya from Season 4 of Project Runway

Occupation: Fashion Designer

Known for: a sophisto-sleek aesthetic and grace under pressure (she was the only contestant that didn’t lose her shit when Sarah Jessica Parker arrived to give the competitors their designers’ challenge, and remained visibly calm when she won)

Her winning dress/vest designs just went on sale for SJP’s Bitten line at Steve & Barry’s before Thanksgiving–snap ‘em up while they’re hot!

And more importantly, let’s just acknowledge… we’ve been rooting for homegirl all along.

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Filed under: Asian Fashion Designers, Beautiful Ladies, Bitten, Everybody Loves a Winner, Hot Hot Hot, Project Runway, Sarah Jessica Parker, Victorya, We've Been Rooting For Her All Along

Gwen Stefani Bitten in the Ass

Sarah Jessica Parker, who will be introducing her own fashion line, Bitten, this summer, takes a bite out of Gwen Stefani in the latest issue of Glamour, calling Stefani’s L.A.M.B. label “avant-garde” and too “high fashion.” SJP even goes as far as to say, “”I don’t want to do that for women, because that’s not their lives.”

Avant-garde?

Too high-fashion?

I would call L.A.M.E. “avant-tard” and “too high-drag queen,” but you, Sarah Jessica, are a far more generous soul than I.

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Filed under: Bitch Fights, Bitten, Fashism, Gwen Stefani, L.A.M.E., Sarah Jessica Parker