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Oh Whitney, You Betta Work
Here’s Whitney Houston, perhaps the greatest singer that ever was, in one of the great moments of her career:
And here’s that wacky crackhead trying to sing her own hit last night.
Continue reading Oh Whitney, You Betta Work
Filed under: "Formerly The Best" Is Meaningless To Asians, Blowing Your Wad, Crack Is Wack, Damn, Divas, Drugs, Greatest Of All Time, Hasbeens, Leaky Pipes, Losing Your Edge, Sad, Singers, Stay off the Pipe, When A Taiwanese Boy In A Bowtie Shows Your Ass Up You Are No Longer Reigning Diva, When Beautiful Voices Die, Whitney Houston, Yu Chun
BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Kate Gosselin
Happy birthday to Kate Gosselin, who turned 35 (yes, only) on Sunday!
Single and, um, loving it...
Here’s hoping that this year she’ll be able to spend more quality off-camera time with her brood of Amazian munchkins.
Kate + 6
[Us: Kate Gosselin Spends 35th Birthday Away From Her Kids]
Filed under: Addicted To Stardom, Amazian Jr., Dancing With the Stars, Gosselin Kids, Kate Gosselin, Mothers, Munchkins, Neglecting Your Family, Overbearing Mothers, Reality Stars, Reality TV, Sad
Multimedia Juxtaposasian: Tila And Reba [NSFW-ish]
Continue reading Multimedia Juxtaposasian: Tila And Reba [NSFW-ish]
Filed under: Attention Whores, Bending Over, Certifiable Peeps, Crazians, Indoor Clothing, Lingerie, NSFW, Paltry Attemps To Be Noticed, Reba McIntyre, Sad, Supermarket, Thongs, Tila Tequila Crazy, Tila Tequila Is Batshit, Weird Celebrity Behavior, Yes We're Part Of The Problem
10 Reasons Not To Get Plastic Surgery To Look Like Jessica Alba (And One Reason To Do It)
A 21 year-old girl in China is getting plastic surgery to look like Jessica Alba.
Now Jess is really, really hot. Damn near perfect, if there is such a thing. Worse, she’s only better in person.
But why would anyone want to look like some actress instead of like themselves?
Why, for love.
You see, Xiaoqing (future patient) was dating some cheesedick for a year and a half that was so obsessed with Alba that it consumed him entirely (read: he is a freakish stalker gnome), and eventually she had to bail. Post facto, instead of thanking bejeezus that she got away from that sick, sad, reality-challenged nerdbomber, Xiaoqing began to regret the split and brainstormed ways to get him back. The result of all that thinking was the choice to alter her appearance and become, as Erasure may have put it, Alba-esque.
Filed under: Actresses, Awful, Chinese Woman Plastic Surgery To Look Like Jessica Alba, Donasians That Suck, Douchebags, Everyone Involved Has Major Issues, Exes Suck, Fantastic Four, Ick, Jessica Alba, Movie Stars, Nerd Crushes, Obsessions, Plastic Surgery, Sad, Self-Esteem, Weird Chinese Behavior
The World’s First Sex Robot Has Been Unveiled, And It Doesn’t Look Like Ann Curry…
…NOR was it invented by the Japanese!!!
She can't move her head, but sure does give great...
Roxxxy, the first functional sex robot with artificial intelligence, was unveiled by New Jersey-based creator TrueCompanion at the AVN Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas over the weekend.
From Fox News:
“She can’t vacuum, she can’t cook but she can do almost anything else if you know what I mean,” Douglas Hines, the president of ROXXXY manufacturer TrueCompanion, told the AFP. “She’s a companion. She has a personality. She hears you. She listens to you. She speaks. She feels your touch. She goes to sleep. We are trying to replicate a personality of a person.”
Not to hate on a breakthrough, but we’re a little dissatisfied. Sure, a sex robot sounds great. But we couldn’t care less if our robot sleeps, feels our touch, or talks about her day. We want her to call us a stallion, screw us on demand, and occasionally cook us a lasagna. Is that too much to ask?
[via HuffPo]
[Fox News: ROXXXY, the World's First Life-Size Robot Girlfriend]
Filed under: American Inventions, Ann Curry, AVN Adult Entertainment Expo, Awesome Inventions, Companionship, Couple of Bugs Left to Fix, Inventions, Inventors, Las Vegas, New Jersey, One of the rare moments that Japan Is "Not It", Real Doll, Sad, Sex Robot, TrueCompanion, Weird Non-Japanese Behavior
Love Means Never Having To Tweet “R.I.P.!”
Johnson & Johnson heiress Casey Johnson was reported dead at age 30 yesterday, a news story that gained traction because the socialite had recently captured headlines, as the affianced to Tila Tequila and one-third of a love triangle with Courtenay Semel.
Casey Johnson and Tila Tequila
As soon as the news broke, readers realized quickly that Johnson’s death–which must have come as a painful shock to her family (father is NY Jets owner Woody Johnson) and lifelong friends–was overshadowed in the headlines by her fledgling ties to Tequila.
Continue reading Love Means Never Having To Tweet “R.I.P.!”
Filed under: Casey Johnson, Casey Johnson Dies, Casey Johnson Heiress, Celebrity Twitter, Celebrity Twitterers, Death, Death as a Career Opportunity, Fucked Up Shit, Publicity Stunts, Sad, Thinking Publicly, Tila Tequila, Tila Tequila Twitter, Twitter, Woody Johnson
How Do Yu Sex Up Lindsay Lohan?
LA photographer Yu Tsai has a large slate of beautiful work, being a master of female sensuality, fantastic color variance, and irregularities turned into beauty.
Continue reading How Do Yu Sex Up Lindsay Lohan?
Filed under: Coke, Controversial Photos, Disasters, Exploitation, Hasbeens, Homage?, Insecurity, Kate Moss, Lindsay Lohan, Lindsay Lohan Naked, Lindsay Lohan Nude, Lindsay Lohan Sex, Muse Magazine, Photographers, Racy, Sad, Sex, Yu Tsai
R.I.P. Ted Kennedy
Goodbye, Ted. Thank you so much for believing.
Filed under: Death, Political Dynasties, R.I.P., Sad, Sen. Ted Kennedy
Set Your YouTube: MegaBot
I was too old to enjoy the Power Rangers when they skyrocketed in popularity during the late 90s, but I still always felt that the franchise was innately wrong. Zentai bodysuits and cardboard weaponry? “Sets” that appeared to be unreleased, unlit shots alongside the Haggin’s Market parking lot? Bored, nearing-thirty actors going through their power motions on camera, collecting paychecks for an infinite series of depleting, invalidating days on the set?? ZZzZzZzZzzzzZZzZzzz. It all just made me sad.
A couple of geniuses we know just released the trailer for the short-form series, MegaBot (see below), a fictional comedy that follows Rangers-esque characters, all grown up, hard up for cash and thus reunited–kinda like the documentary loudQUIETloud, which chronicles the Pixies’ financially-driven reunion, except delightfully bright and hilarious, and in wonderful excess of plucky racial slurs!
We’re Asian, so duh, we love YouTube. Add a character played by the crush-worthy Randall Park (adorned in yellow, natch, to match his Black co-star in black) to the screen, and we’re basically sold for life.
Source
Thanks, Micah! Hi, Nathan!
Filed under: Bad Acting, Bright Colors, Crushes, Hilarious Stuff, MegaBot, Power Rangers, Racial Slurs, Randall Park, Sad, Type Casting, YouTube, Zentai Bodysuits
Add Them as a Friend
Reason #1,293,787,099 Weddings Make People Act ReallyReallyREALLY Wack:
According to the UK’s Telegraph, Some Japanese brides feel so pressured to have a good guest showing that–in addition to forking out the hundies for an open bar, tiered cake and boring dinner plate–that they HIRE CHEERY AND CLEAN-LOOKING FOLKS TO ACT AS “FRIENDS” AT THEIR WEDDING.
Oh. My god. I have never. Heard. Of a more. Pathetic. And Sad. Set of Circumstances.
Seriously: WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK??!?!?!?!?
[Telegraph: Japanese Company Does Thriving Trade in 'Fake Friends']
Source
Thanks, Jasmine!
Filed under: Dude--Get Over it, Fake Friends, Faking It, Keeping Up Appearances, Losers, Pathetic, People Are Nuts, Sad, Weddings, Weddings are Stupid, Weird Japanese Behavior
DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! The Binghamton Gunman
Our heads have been swimming with emotions today as we wait anxiously for news developments, regarding today’s shooting at The American Civic Association building in Binghamton, to trickle out of New York.
Personally, I’m collecting all of the details, trying to process them methodically. But my mind inevitably strays from the facts of today’s tragedy–wandering off to think obliquely about the people I don’t really know anything about: the yet-to-be-identified victims and hostages. I picture small, simple rooms filled with immigrants–like my parents and grandparents were three decades ago– so committed to making their family’s lives better and doing so by the book, the old-fashioned way. I think about how they couldn’t possibly have known what was going to happen to them today and how they absolutely didn’t deserve it. How they probably didn’t understand what was happening, except that they were probably going to be killed.
What are their parents thinking? What are their children feeling?
I wonder what it felt like for the survivors, in the hours they spent thinking that they were probably going to die in America without being an American.
Mostly, I feel confused. And deeply sad. In a way that I can’t really articulate, I just feel sorry that this is what happens sometimes in this country.
Filed under: America, Asian Shooter, Binghamton, Binghamton Shooting, Death, Hostages, Immigrants, Sad, Shootings, Surviving, Tragedy, Unfunny Stuff, We Are Not All Gunmen
Want to Get a Cute Asian Girl Inside Your Pants?
Want to get a cute Asian Girl inside your pants, but have no game, no life, and, really, no reason for living?
Have no fear…the Cute Asian Girls iPhone app is here!
Behold its description:
If you have yellow fever, this app is the cure!Cute Asian Girls gives you HUNDREDs of photos of the most beautiful asian girls you have ever seen. Whether you’re looking for asian girls with weapons, or girls in maid uniforms, or even just the casual girl in a summer dress, we have them all! Our photo collection is growing by the day and will continue growing by the truckload. Every day will introduce new photos for your viewing pleasure.
And for a limited time only, the app is being offered for the low, low price of .99 cents! So why wait? Get a Cute Asian Girl inside your pants today!!!
And then go kill yourself. In a slow, painful, drawn-out way. Thanks.
[via Angry Asian Man]
Filed under: Asian Fetish, Cute Asian Girls iPhone App, Eww, iPhone Applications, iPhone Apps, Objectifying Women, Sad, StuckPixel, Yellow Fever
