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The Bravery

February 25th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


This week on RuPaul’s Drag Race, my girl Ongina proved once again that she is the funnest and fiercest of all the fabulous bitches in the competition. My tiny queen won the Mac Viva Glam challenge, earning a spot as a spokesperson for the campaign.

But as she heard that she won, she broke down into sobs. And said the bravest thing I’ve ever heard on television, so much so that I’m ashamed to have seen it on something as fluffy as a standard-definition reality show:

“I just wanted to say, and I’ve always been so afraid to say it, that I’ve been living with HIV for the last two years of my life. And this means so much to me. I didn’t want to say it on national TV because my parents didn’t know–oh my God.

You have to celebrate life. You keep going. And I keep going.”

I can honestly tell you that I cried. All night.

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Let It Come Down

June 25th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


The Durex Sexual Wellbeing Survey, which polled 26,000 people in 26 countries, was released yesterday with one shocking point of analysis: People from China and Hong Kong are the least likely to climax during sex.

Reuters reports that “Less than a quarter — 24 percent — of those surveyed from China and Hong Kong were able to achieve an orgasm every time they had sex.

OH NO!

This saddens me for a number of reasons, namely:

1) Chinese people are WINNERS. They should never be least likely to do anything–save for least likely to “not succeed” or “fail” or “do poorly on a test” or “lose in a Mahjong tournament” or “turn up their nose at a shiny new Acura.”

2) Sex is really fun. The thought of my overseas brethren suffering through hours of pointless, bad sex makes me want to punch a bitch.

3) Orgasms are what make sex fun. The rest of it (for the most part) is just fiddly, clunky, sometimes-smelly bullshit that ultimately leads up to the fun part.

4) The lack of screaming in the bedroom must directly translate into hot and bothered mothers screaming at their children to “PRACTICE THE PIANO OR ELSE YOU DISHONOR FAMILY!!!” and that kinda sucks.

5) I refuse to believe that our peeps are not good at ocean motion. I think it’s just nerves.

And nerves… nerves we can deal with. Here is my advice to all of our bruthas and sistas in Asia. You can come lately! The problem is simply that you’ve got big brains, and you’re using them too much. Try not to overthink it. Just RELAX. Stop using your graphing calculator to assess your partner’s increased heart rate and blood flow to the erogenous zones.

And when in doubt, put on sexy music. Peter Cetera is good. So is Faith Hill. If you can find songs with lyrics about “commitment” or “lifelong love” or “being partners” or “childbirth,” you’re seriously on your way to an orgasm smörgåsbord. SO EAT UP!

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Thanks, Jen!

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Hey "Rippers," We Will Wreck Your Fasian

March 28th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


Jen informed me today that a purse-snatching epidemic in San Jose aimed at Asian women, particularly Vietnamese, was reported in today’s local Mercury News (See the clip included in their piece above).

The Asian-targeted attacks certainly aren’t isolated–Angry Asian Man pointed out “The Beacon Hill Groper’s” lurid exploits just this week, and I cried last month when I heard about the death of an Orange County mom who suffered a stroke after being pepper-sprayed by a twenty-something girl that snatched her lunch, thinking it was a purse.

The thought of such a violent, violating act–like that in the video above–happening to anyone I know, specifically my loved ones–Jen, my sisters, my friends, my Mom–makes me absolutely ill. Although perhaps not for the reason you’d assume…

A note to “The Rippers”:

IF YOU SO MUCH AS THINK OF LAYING A SNATCHING, GROPING, PEPPER-SPRAYING FINGER ON ONE OF MY LADIES, YOU WILL SUFFER A FATE SO GRUESOME THAT THE DEVIL WON’T EVEN WANT TO LOOK AT YOU. YOU WILL BE UNRECOGNIZABLE. YOU WILL BE INCONSOLABLE. YOU WILL BE WRECKED.

That’s just the truth, and that’s not my fault. They’s just some tough bitches.

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