You are currently browsing posts tagged with Ryan Gosling is a God

If the New Bruce Lee Biopic Were White-Washed…

July 24th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Variety reported this week that a three-part Bruce Lee biopic is in the works. When we asked you guys on Twitter who should play him, a few of you got all clever and, in light of the Hollywood tradition of white-washing Asian characters (ahem, 21, Dragonball, and The Last Airbender), offered up some inspired casting suggestions:

“Jack Black. Or Woody Allen on steroids.”

“Paul Walker w/a tan!”

“Jean-Claude Van Damme with jaundice”

“Eddie Murphy in an Asian suit?”

“Zack Efron or some other ‘yellow face’”

“Robert Downey Jr. he already went black”

Y’all will be relieved to know that Bruce Lee’s family is actually working on the biopic, and a Chinese company is producing it. Still, if they were going to fuck it up Hollywood-style, our vote for the man to play Bruce Lee would go to…Ryan Gosling. Because we hear he’s really good at kung fu. And it’s been his lifelong dream to play Bruce Lee in a biopic. And…


…and, okay, we really just want to see him with his shirt off. A lot.

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SELF-VLOGELLASIAN: On Romantic Gift-Giving

June 19th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

What are Jen and Diana doing when not blogging or practicing violin and piano?

We’re Shopping Imbibing Complaining Spelunking Doing Rad Stuff vlogging.

Listen, it’s advice.

Consider us humanitariasians.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel here.

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Heaven Is…

March 17th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


…Ryan Gosling and a pup, enveloped in a sea of beauteous bamboo, pointing gently at you.

Holy hell.

Full photoshoot here.

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He Makes a Convincing Argument

February 1st, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Ryan “Our Generation’s Brando” Gosling touched my shoulder last night, gently. We traded words. We made eye contact. My life changed.

I owe this moment to Senator Obama, because this beautiful exchange would not have occurred had I not been competing with Gosling to babble and shake hands with Senator Obama at his post-debate LA reception.

The issues? Bah. Color me ambivalent. If you wanna swing my vote, gimme Gosling.

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Daniel Dae Kim and Ryan "The Goz" Gosling’s Love Child

October 23rd, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

…would look like this:

Two rights–and by rights, I mean hotties–can’t make a wrong. And this is all wrong.

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Butt Out!

October 15th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana
Nicole: That dime slot is lookin’ more suitable for a half-dollar.

Celebrity blogger Just Jared just posted some highlights of Nicole Scherzinger’s recent interview with Blender Magazine, in which she touts her forthcoming solo album, Her Name is Nicole. Even though she’s only partly Asian, I thought I’d help some of you understand what she’s trying to say, lest there be some complications due to the language barrier:

You honestly don’t think that the way the Dolls dress or dance can be described as naughty or raunchy? Never. Never in a million, bazillion, trazillion years. (pauses) Did you see my face? I didn’t even blink.

TRANSLASIAN
: I led a very unhappy childhood.

Are you a fembot? (Like one of the mechanical girls in Austin Powers movies whose only purpose is to give pleasure): No. But I can play that role really well.

TRANSLASIAN
: I have very low aspirations.

On how on-screen crushes are just that: “You get these crushes on guys, and then you meet them and you realize you just loved the role they were playing. Like, who doesn’t love Ryan Gosling after you see ‘The Notebook’? Then you meet the person and you’re like, ‘Huh? What?’”

TRANSLASIAN: I am a total idiot and a worthless celebrity. I am so insecure that I can’t even recognize that Ryan Gosling is our generation’s Brando. Okay, Ryan Gosling wouldn’t screw me. Okay, he would even stand near me at that one party for fear that we would be photographed together. I am a lonely, sad, empty person.

On her solo album release: “I need total focus, total concentration, total centering, because this album is everything I’ve been working for my whole life. You get one chance, and this is my chance.”

TRANSLASIAN: I didn’t write a word on this album and I can’t dance. Please buy my record or else I’ll end up getting fat on a combo of Jamba Juice and Cheese curls, and then I’ll want to slit my wrists. My manager wouldn’t let me put the word “Pussy” in my album title and I think it’ll ruin my career. I am totally freaking out. Look at my ass!

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