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Gawker Reports Mark Zuckerberg’s Engaged, Which Leads To A Discussion Of What’s Wrong With Asian Women, Naturally

June 13th, 2011 | 10 comments | Posted by Jen

Mark Zuckerberg is engaged! Maybe. Bill Gates seems to think so anyway, calling Zuckerberg’s longtime girlfriend, med student Priscilla Chan, Zuck’s “fiancee” in a recent interview. Gawker picked up on this, and naturally, naturally, a conversation ensued in the comments section concerning why someone like Cilla would be with someone like Zuck.

THEORY #1: ASIAN WOMEN LOVE UGLY WHITE GUYS


THEORY #2: Continue reading Gawker Reports Mark Zuckerberg’s Engaged, Which Leads To A Discussion Of What’s Wrong With Asian Women, Naturally

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Make Your Brain Hurt: Sarah Palin’s Facebook Page

August 12th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Unlike my more tolerant friends (yes, YOU, G Scott and Norman), I can’t watch Fox News every day or even listen to the raving lunacy of Limbaugh once in awhile, just to be sure I’m on top of every single word that the right wing nutjobs are sputtering. Sometimes I just don’t want to know. I can’t deal. It hurts my soul, all that shouting and all of those incessant jokes.

But the flurryfaloo that resulted from the “death panel” comment former Governor of Alaska Sarah Palin posted on her Facebook last week piqued my interest somehow, and awakened that tiny part of me that intentionally smells sour milk–especially as I kept reading the following excerpt:

“The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama’s “death panel” so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their ‘level of productivity in society,’ whether they are worthy of health care. Such a system is downright evil.”

This statement, by the way, has been deemed by non-partisan fact checker PolitiFact is “pants on fire” false. And if DISGRASIAN had a Shame-O-Meter on our site, we’d definitely have to tag this one as “downright shameless.”

It all got me wondering. What’s a “civilian” like Sarah Palin up to on Facebook, anyway? Does she play a ton of Scrabble? Does she give $1 gifts to friends, like AK-47s and cartoon bibles? Does she start membership groups for “Parents of babies with Down Syndrome who refer to those babies only as ‘babies with Down Syndrome’ as if they aren’t, simply put, babies” or “People for Palin 2012?”

But upon further investigation, I realized, it’s all about Sarah’s Facebook wall:


…and I, uh, I immediately remembered why I don’t listen to these nutjobs. Why bother getting upset about those stupid “Nazi’s” and their feelings about “Obamma” and “Hillry?” Why??

[Facebook - Sarah Palin]
[PolitiFact.com]

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Lionel Richie’s Bai-Out

July 22nd, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


The blogosphere has been rather unforgiving regarding rumors that sparked after Bai Ling and Lionel Richie apparently shared some laughter and conversation over dinner at the Santa Monica Viceroy last Thursday.

“Oddest. Couple. EVER!”

“Lionel Richie and Bai Ling? Seriously?”

“Lionel is 60 years old and has been divorced twice – his second marriage ended in 2004, when he and Diane Alexander split after nearly nine years of marriage. Bai Ling is 42 years old, and totally strange.”

If the rumors of a budding romance are true, I actually think they might fit quite nicely together. Underneath it all, she could be an incredibly pensive soul, as reflected by her prose. And a poetic soul, he certainly is. I mean, HELLO:

Could be magical! Even though he can’t rock an accent (at least, not temporarily) and she certainly does with “finesse,” if these two crazy kids can find love in the worst of towns, who the heck are we to stop them?

[via Dlisted]

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Thanks, jRu!

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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Well, It’s Not Rubina Ali

April 24th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


Though the story broke in a barely-reliable “news” source, it took milliseconds for people to respond in shock and horror to British tab News of the World‘s claim that 9-year-old Slumdog Millionaire star Rubina Ali was being peddled for adoption by her father.

Let’s just say the odds were stacked against Ali’s father, Rafiq Qureshi: Ali’s biological mother publicly praised the paper for releasing the story, even duking it out over the matter with Qureshi’s wife (and Ali’s stepmother) in the streets. And people have been naturally suspect of the Slumdog showbiz dad after his name first emerged, amidst controversy–after the film was a raging success, he felt his daughter should have been paid more (despite the fact that filmmakers arranged the Jai Ho Trust to provide the young actors and their families with education and housing needs).

While speaking to CNN with the young Ali, Qureshi did in fact admit to meeting with a wealthy Dubai couple (who turned out to be News of the World journalists), with the rather dubious caveat that he actually never intended to accept money for his daughter, and that he was misunderstood because of his poor English.

Ali added:

“’I talked to them in the room,’ Ali told CNN of the meeting, conducted by undercover News of the World journalists. ‘My dad said I could meet people if I want to, ‘But I will never give my daughter away for any amount of money.’

But here’s the rub: although the undercover reporters argue that they have seven hours of taped evidence showing Qureshi and his brother negotiating the sale, the video has no sound. And this week, Mumbai police dropped their investigation of the father, citing a lack of evidence. So perhaps Qureshi didn’t attempt this terrible thing, and maybe he did. As is often the case, the truth is difficult to discern amidst the chaos.

All we can say is that we feel deeply for poor Rubina, who really just can’t seem to catch a break. And to anyone who’s actually thinking about it, might we suggest following PETA’s advice (not something we’d often do), merely applying it to adorable, talented, potentially-up-for-grabs children:


…y’know: “Always Adopt. Never Buy.” No matter how fucking adorable.

[News of the World: Father Tries to Cash In On Daughter's Fame]
[TMZ: 'Slumdog' Brawl--One Mother of a Fight]

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Hey, Don’t Hate on Jon & Kate

March 12th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

A photo of Jon Gosselin, father to oh-so-many squeaky little ones on TLC’s Jon & Kate Plus 8, was recently photographed with both an unfortunate puff-face and a couple of grim college chicks:

Make that a “light” beer

…igniting a firestorm of rumors claiming that the micromanaged husband and dad had snuck away to a bar and cheated on his intense, neurotic wife with a couple of co-eds.

When the photo surfaced, I myself was unconvinced of any wrongdoing as per the documentation, which looked about as tawdry as my photo with Bill O’Reailly (To clarify: not very). Some people, however, were convinced, angry at him for even leaving the house to throw down a few live ones. Such sentiments have been illustrated by web comments like, “Pfft, I’d leave her if I was him” and “He is married if he wants to leave his responsibilities (his children) to go party…… then he should get a divorse [sic].”

This is where I have to draw the line. There is nothing necessarily wrong with the fella hitting a local watering hole sans babies and mama. As Gosselin told People, Jon had gone to stay with his mother (the lovely lady responsible for his Asian side) and nurse her to health from a broken foot, taking a break to have some drinks and “blow off steam.”

I don’t know about you guys, but I was once holed up alone with my Hardass Asian Mom when she was sick, and that shit wasn’t pretty. I needed a break–a long, alcohol-filled one. And in such situasians, one drink sometimes isn’t enough. Heck, sometimes fourteen drinks aren’t enough.

Let’s try and throw this guy a bone, eh?

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Thanks, Jasmine!

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I’m A’Freida She Was Way Out of His League Anyway

February 20th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

It was reported this week that Slumdog Millionaire star Freida Pinto, 24, had a “secret husband” or fiance, Rohan Antao, whom she met in college and dumped once the Oscar-nominated movie became a hit. Another rumor floating around is that she and her 18 year-old co-star Dev Patel are now dating.

While these two moves sound climby and actressy…

Freida Pinto with her ex-whatever Rohan Antao

…who’s surprised, really?

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Mo’ Better Meatty Meat

January 9th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

When the dazzling, gorgeous Padma Lakshmi divorced her much-older husband Salman Rushdie, many were quick to gossip that the statuesque beauty was guilty of an affair. In my travels between LA and NYC, I’ve personally heard some first and secondhand accounts of her romantic dabbles, and while staying mum on all of those stories, I’ll just say, I believe that the odds that the whispers were true are… pretty good.

The one most people were interested way back when, however, was the rumor that Lakshmi was bouncing around with a married, well-known chef. Blind item after blind item nailed Lakshmi for this one, until Gawker finally supposed, for a while at least, that the culinary hero in question was–eek!–Anthony Bourdain.

I, on the other hand, had always held out the hope that the lovely Padma would only have surrendered her special parts to the boyish advances of Rocco DiSpirito–even though I’m not even sure he was married at the time of her detours. Though I could never exactly figure out why, I did.

Today, however, after reading that Match.com writer/relationship expert Whitney Casey recently spilled to Howard Stern that DiSpirito was the best lay she ever had and bearer of a “perfect penis”… I think “why” is now pretty clear.

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Rosemora’s Baby

March 17th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Kimora Lee Simmons denied pregnancy rumors Friday when she spoke at Washington University in St. Louis. “I’m in the paper every single week – that I had a fight with my ex-husband, or that I was mad at one of his girlfriends, or that I’m pregnant, or that I demand Fiji water,” she said. “Lies upon lies upon lies.”

The fauxbulous Simmons also issued a warning to gossip rags, saying, “Y’all better not try to Lisa Marie Presley my ass because I will not go quietly in the night with that. You do that to Kimora Lee, and I guarantee to fuck your shit up.”*

*or something like that

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Wax On, Wax Off, Wax On, Wax Off, Wax On, Wax Off…

September 28th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Rumors have been flying through the Hollywood grapevine today that Sony will soon be ushering in a re-make of the timeless classic, The Karate Kid, produced through Will Smith’s Overbrook Pictures.

I must tell you, I’m buzzing with excitement. Believe me, I know The Karate Kid(s). All of ‘em.

I was there for the first one, where Ralph Macchio (Italian dude) bests the cocky dudes of the Cobra Kai (bunch of white dudes) in the All Valley Championship for not only title, but honor.

I then came back hungrily for the second one, in which Macchio (still an Italian fella) travels all the way to Japan to takes down a lifetime martial artist on his own turf–for the heart of a soft-spoken Japanese girl.

I even saw the third one–which was a total bomb–in which Macchio (yes, I checked again and yes, he’s still Italian) beats the same White Cobra Kais (now led by an even more sinister white leader, this time with a pony tail) to uphold his title. Although at this point nobody even cared and about 6 people went to see it in the theater.

No matter! The crafty people of Hollywood knew that there was just a teensy bit more money to make on this illustrious franchise. And so they found a sexy new Karate Kid… who wasn’t Asian either. But at least she was a girl, and a future Oscar winner.

So now, I’m ready. It’s our time– We’re Asian! Martial Arts is our bag! Though we’ve been practicing martial arts our whole lives, the only Asian person worth their “wax off” in these movies has been dishonored in his home country by a kid from Reseda. Puhleeze!

So who’s it gonna be? What young, attractive, diamond-in-the-rough Asian kid is going to be the new Kid of Karate?

Oh. Will Smith’s kid, Jaden. Close enough, I guess.

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Ratatouille

July 18th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

According to Reuters, Chinese officials have denied reports that some of the 2 billion mice invading central China have been trucked away to Guangzhou for…FOOD.

SCRUMPTIOUS!

Wang Fan, a Guangzhou food safety official, had this to say about the rat rumors:

“The city government of Guangzhou has not lifted the ban against the trading and eating of wild animals, including rats…”

I really don’t know who to believe. On the one hand, the idea that there’s a black market in China for flood rats smells like a ricist hoax, but on the other, most of the reporting on this phenomenon is coming from within the country.

If it’s true, then my advice to members of the Chinese media, given the hysteria the world’s feeling about food coming from China, is…?

Keep this shit on the QT!

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Oh, Great.

May 24th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


Reuters reported today that China publicly refuted a widespread rumor that the country has been growing bananas containing a virus similar to SARS.

“‘It is purely a rumour and it is impossible for bananas to contain SARS-like viruses,’ the Agriculture Ministry said, referring to text messages some cell phone users had received.

‘The spreaders of the false information either have inadequate relevant scientific knowledge or have ulterior motives,’ it said, adding police had been asked to investigate.

The rumour comes at a time when food products from China have come under scrutiny around the world after a spate of safety breaches involving toxins in products from pet food to toothpaste.”

Oh jeeze. We’ve spent the last handful of decades dealing with the dog eating jokes. are we going to spend the next one dealing with the poison jokes? I mean, if one can make a joke about poison. I’m sure Ann Coulter can help out.

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