You are currently browsing posts tagged with Rock Band

AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Freddie Wong

June 28th, 2010 | 8 comments | Posted by Diana


Name: Freddie Wong

Age: 24

Hails from: LA (via Seattle)

Occupation: YouTube star, budding filmmaker, video enthusiast, Guitar Hero pro

Known for: Well, he actually says it best

“Most people know me from my brief stint as a professional Guitar Hero/Rock Band player.

When I am not rocking faces with plastic, I am a filmmaker and musician in Los Angeles.”

Like 7,166,489 other people, we first encountered Wong when he released a sick video of himself rocking Rush’s “YYZ” on Guitar Hero’s expert level, and watched with nodding approval as he rose quick as crème fraîche to the top of the pro GH ranks.

But Wong’s real gifts, as highlighted by NewTeeVee’s Liz Shannon Miller this week, lie in Continue reading AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Freddie Wong

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SELF-VLOGELLASIAN: Strung Out On Guitar Heroines

March 25th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Just another day at the office: Jen, Diana, a cute dog, Xbox 360, scotch, Guitar Hero, an unlit cigarette, and lots of insightful conversasian.

Just can’t get enough? Subscribe to our YouTube channel here.

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ROCK BAND OF ASIAN: No Fail Mode

September 24th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen


No Fail Mode is the name of an emo band. They aren’t very good, but what they lack in musicianship and good lyrics, they make up for with earnestness and eyeliner. They wouldn’t be caught dead in anything other than skinny jeans, and they are not above nicking your hair product.

No Fail Mode is the name of a nu metal band. Their idols are System of a Down. They like wearing a lot of black, because they’re serious, and they sing about political issues like fighting the power and whatnot. They are not afraid to hug each other and talk things out, something they learned by watching that Metallica documentary. Hugging can be hardcore, too.

No Fail Mode is the name of a Christian hard rock group. Their name vaguely references Isaiah 42:4: “He shall not fail nor be discouraged, till he have set judgment in the earth.” They think tattoos, piercings, smoking, and gays are things that God is okay with. When they pray together before shows, they not only pray for lost souls but for the crossover potential of Creed.

No Fail Mode is the opposite of You Fail It and does not do anything for the lulz.

No Fail Mode is also a Rock Band 2 option (under “EXTRAS” in the Main Menu). No matter how hard you suck, unlike in regular mode, you won’t fail and get booed off the stage. It is for gamers who don’t really want to game. It is for people at parties who want to rock out on plastic instruments without looking bad and are weirdly unaware that that is a built-in impossibility. (Do you realize that that thing’s plastic and has unicorn stickers all over it because I have a sticker fetish? Play “Shackler’s Revenge” already and embrace the inherent inanity, for fuck’s sake.) It is for people who think Rock Band is “just a game.” It is for those who believe Rock Band is “social.” It is for your agent, the idiot kid you babysat for who cried when you didn’t let him win, somebody’s mom (not ours though–they’re competitive as shit). It is for people who are allergic to failure but too lazy or inept to prevent it from happening themselves.

No Fail Mode, in other words, is for pussies. We do not approve.

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ROCK OF ASIAN: Help Me Buy Diana’s Birthday Present (Shhhhh!)

August 27th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

In the nine months since Rock Band’s been released, a few drum pedals have kicked the (bass) bucket in my house. Two, to be exact. The first one split neatly in half, and the second, which I borrowed (okay, stole), physically held together but stop registering midway through the first Doolittle jam sesh I had over here. Diana was, of course, present both times, and she was not only banging the drums on the second occasion, she also managed to finish the song we were playing without the use of the kick drum somehow.

The thing about Diana is, that’s how she (drum) rolls. She’s so Asian and, thus, so allergic to failure, that she won’t let a cheap plastic drum pedal breaking breaka her stride. She’s also still in her 20′s, in that sweet spot o’ life where failure is not an option. And I’d like her to stay there for as long as possible. Purely out of self-interest, because there’s no way we’re gonna achieve world dominasian if we’re both old, bitter, and depressed. Her birthday’s in a little over a month, and this here is the perfect youth serum:


It’s the ION Drum Rocker Premium Drum Set. It costs $300. Look how it dwarfs the piece-of-shit Rock Band kit (on the right) that comes with the game. I mean, duuude. It’s awesomely big. It comes with cymbals. And Engadget describes the kick drum pedal as “beefy.” Sweet.

Help Diana realize her lifelong dream of being the second-coming of Neil Peart. Help her stay young, bright, and failure-averse. Help me minimize my shrink bills and fork over the cash, people. Cuz money talks and bullshit plays a broke-ass drum pedal.

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Thanks, Jasmine!

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ROCK OF ASIAN: DISGRASIANixies

July 2nd, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


While perusing the limited organic deli options at the Beverly Hills Whole Foods today, I overheard one of those awfully average boring-chick conversations that tend to ruin the tone of the whole day for the casual observer. Two verynormal girls in verynormal clothes and verynormal hairdos were texting side-by-side on their verynormal blackberrys, discussing one of their pending “not-a-’date’-date dates for this evening.

VERYNORMAL GIRL #1: It’s not a “date”-date.

VERYNORMAL GIRL #2: How do you know? Where are you gonna go for dinner?

VERYNORMAL GIRL #1: I don’t know. He told me to choose.

VERYNORMAL GIRL #2: What are you gonna choose?

VERYNORMAL GIRL #1: I don’t KNOW! I’m not sure what we should do.

VERYNORMAL GIRL #2: Oh, that’s cool.

VERYNORMAL GIRL #1: Yeah.

(long pause)

VERYNORMAL GIRL #1: He keeps texting me all of this stuff I don’t understand. Like he said he would play guitar for me and I asked him what his favorite guitar is, and he wrote, [pulls out blackberry] “Definitely the Fender Mustang or the Gibson Lay Paul, or the Gibson SG, a classic.” Do you have any idea what that means? I mean, if he plays guitar for me, I think that’s like hot.

VERYNORMAL GIRL #2: Really hot.

VERYNORMAL GIRL #1: Rockers are like, hot or whatever… but I don’t understand any of this stuff he’s telling me about. Anyway, who cares?

VERYNORMAL GIRL #2: [chuckles]

VERYNORMAL GIRL #1: I think guitars are hot.

VERYNORMAL GIRL #2: Yah, me too.

VERYNORMAL GIRL #1: Is hummus fattening?

It is during moments like these that I wonder why there are so many uncool, boring-ass girls in the world and who the hell dates them, anyway? I also start to think of phrases like, “youth is wasted on the young” and “rock is wasted on the masses” and “I hate boring chicks.”

My beloved writing partner, Jen, is no such boring chick. I am struck by this thought frequently, especially when she’s doing something cool. Like stating definitively that The Coffin is a bitchin’ axe. Or singing like Patsy Cline. Or rocking Balenciaga as casually as if it were Banana Republic.

The folks at Rock Band announced that the entire album of The Pixies’ “Doolittle” was available for XBOX 360 download on Monday, and by 11pm that night, Jen and I were cruising right through “Gouge Away” to “Debaser.” As she channeled her inner Loverling and blasted through drum parts on expert, I looked at her and thought, “That lady, with those sticks, is so fucking cool.”


And then I looked at myself, playing alongside her and thought, “Shit man, I must be cool too.”

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