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Twilight: Eclipse Interactive–Even In 8-Bits, TayTay’s Body Don’t Quit

July 2nd, 2010 | 5 comments | Posted by Diana

Jen and I went to see Twilight: Eclipse this week at a matinee screening, flanked by squealing/clapping/giggling/screaming little girls. We were like the cackling old ladies in the back, clicking our clogs (that was Jen) and quietly whispering pervy remarks (that was me) every time some young buck with a killer instinct and lots of issues appeared on the screen.


Wait, we weren’t like the cackling old ladies. We were the cackling old ladies! Wuh oh.

I can say with confidence that Eclipse was better than the first two Twilight movies. The only thing is that my gauge for greatness is based entirely on the number of times Taylor Lautner appears onscreen without a shirt on (I was keeping tally marks, but lost count after becoming completely enveloped in raging fantasies mid-flick). Sigh. That’s a little sick, right? But you GUYS, he’s EIGHTEEN!

Since the matinee, I’ve been in a bit of a TayTay frenzy (Please don’t check my Firefox history to see how many times I’ve Googled “Taylor Lautner shirtless” in the last few days. Okay, 12.). So when my friend Yennie linked me up to something called “Twilight Eclipse Interactive,”  of course I quickly clicked through (hell, I want to “interact” with you-know-who)…
Continue reading Twilight: Eclipse Interactive–Even In 8-Bits, TayTay’s Body Don’t Quit

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BABEWATCH: Samurai Blue

June 8th, 2010 | 5 comments | Posted by Diana

There are an infinite number of reasons that we love Phil over at Angry Asian Man. But today, the primary reason is that he posted this photo (large version here) of the Japanese World Cup Soccer Team (affectionately known as “Samurai Blue“) in slim-fitting SUITS. It comes from an ad featuring the athletes, slickly peddling a a team-inspired blue tie:

Let's kick it

I’m an enthusiast and/or stickler about most sports… but I really don’t know shit about soccer, except that soccer players are fuzzin’ HOT. I love their endurance, their swagger, their abs, the strength of their broad shoulders, the speed of their sprint, their perfectly muscled and meaty legs, the fact that they don’t so much as take a timeout to get an eye gushing with blood stitched up on the field sidelines. I am to soccer players as my dog is to bully sticks. Add a well-tailored suit into the mix and I might just pass out from the hot, hot heat.

And hell, if it got TOOOOOO hot, we could just get some burly Asian firemen in the mix to wave their big water hoses all around and cool us all down! Water everywhere and no shirts on!! Everybody’s chiseled physiques just firm and warm and moist to the touch!!!!!!! And while we were at it we would film everything!!!!! Multiple camera angles!!!!!!!!!!!! The footage would live on forever!

…Wait. Am I talking about this photo or my pervy dreams? Both?

[via Angry Asian Man]

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Thanks, Joanna and Cindy! ;)

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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN!

June 25th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


Rain turns the ripe old age of 27 today, and I wish I didn’t have to tell him that he’s in for a friggin’ doozy of a year. Not so young anymore–not really old and wise, a person at 27 has only an internal misery, bout of identity confusion, and fragmented sense of self with to wallow in (um, so I hear) for about 365 days. Welcome to adulthood, homey. Oy.

So I wish him the best. Thankfully, he has those new, yummy muscles of his to console him and keep him warm.

Actually… maybe I need summa dat too.

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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN!

April 9th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


Happy birthday to Jackie Chan, who turned 55 this week and is still about 3,475 times more ripped than we currently are at the tender ages of um, 19 and 22.

Today, Chan can enjoy the experience of us being gentle and nice to him! Pretty neat, huh? If he would just stop all that wretched clowning, it could happen a helluva lot more often.

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AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Manny "Pacman" Pacquiao

December 8th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


Name: Manny “Pacman” Pacquiao aka The Mexicutioner aka People’s Champ aka Pambansang Kamao (“National Fist”)

Occupation: Professional Boxer

Known for: Being the first Asian (and Pinoy) boxer to win four world titles in different weight divisions, and–as of June of this year–the Ring Magazine pound-for-pound top-ranked boxer in the world. Pacquiao defeated Golden Boy Oscar De La Hoya in “the Dream Match” with an eighth-round TKO this weekend, outstepping De La Hoya’s five-inch reach advantage to beat the icon. The victory, however, did not go without a humble response. From AP:

De La Hoya’s left eye was closed shut as he sat on his stool after the eighth round and the ring doctor, referee and his cornermen discussed his condition. De La Hoya offered no complaints when his corner decided he had enough, getting up from his stool and walking to the center of the ring to congratulate the victor.

“You’re still my idol,” Pacquiao told him.

“No, you’re my idol,” De La Hoya said.

Aww. For the time being, we’re going to go with De La Hoya–Pacquiao is our new idol, and we’re super psyched that there’s someone finally restoring the luster back to the name “Pacman”–unlike, say, Jen’s ne’er-do-well, now-silent, alchie Cowboy Adam “Pacman” Jones.

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Congratulasians, Eddie Van Halen

October 8th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Eddie Van Halen at the Staples Center, December 2007

It was announced this week that Eddie Van Halen is engaged to his publicist, Janie Liszewski. Eddie–whose mother was Dutch-Indonesian–proposed in August. Congratulasians, Eddie!

Last December, I saw Van Halen play the Staples Center. It was during the writers’ strike and most of the people I went to the show with were writers worried about paying their mortgages, the decline of television’s popularity in general, and when they would ever work again. Seeing Van Halen was a high point in an otherwise depressed, uncertain time.

We were so close to the stage that you could sort of make out David Lee Roth’s bulge in his black leather pants. Eddie was shirtless, and he was one of the most ripped muthafuckas I’d ever seen. David was wearing an open, glittery matador jacket, and he was ripped, too, but I was pretty sure that David got that way from lipo and Eddie from doing a lot of freaky yoga or something. Eddie had some of the fastest fingers I’ve ever seen. Him shredding didn’t seem like work at all. His teenage son Wolfgang played bass, and I felt bad for him, not because he was awkward, pimply and pudgy–touring with Van Halen will get him laid despite all of that–but because he has so much to live up to, having a guitar god for a father.

Three months later, the band had to cancel a bunch of dates because Eddie came down with an undisclosed illness. His ex, Valerie Bertinelli, who was hocking a memoir about weight loss at the time, denied that Eddie had gone back to rehab. Whatever it was, I hope this engagement is a sign of better times, and by that I mean, a sign of many more sweet, shirtless shows to come.

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