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What A Sh*tshow: The CNN/Tea Party Debate

September 13th, 2011 | 3 comments | Posted by Diana

I am a masochist.

For one, I work in television, and a little too much lately at that (hence the recent lack of blogging), which is an industry clearly suffering from a dearth of powerful Asians. In the Golden People’s absence, idiots reign supreme, and proliferate (Remember the idiot assistant of that other ignoramus that couldn’t coordinate your last conference call? He’s now your executive) like zombies.

God help us all

I also watched last night’s CNN/Tea Party Debacle Debate, when I clearly should have been watching Miss Philippines get robbed of the Miss Universe crown instead. What can I say? I love watching that she-devil Michele Bachmann’s hair shimmer in the light.

After all, Bachmann certainly made her mark, making sure to answer as few direct questions as possible and assuring that audiences got a real sense of how Rick Perry has violated hordes of little Texan girls with a “dangerous” HPV vaccine. You’ve gotta hand it to Rick “Lovya Dubya” Perry–he may not know his foot from his head, but he sure knows how to get people scratching their heads… which could, amazingly, get him elected.

Fact is, the show was more a display of theatrics than politics, from the gaudy CNN set to Wolf Blitzer’s ridiculous face, to the candidates’ introductions, to the Perry dogpile, to the overuse of “Obamacare” (like one of Pee-Wee’s secret words), to the sports championship tone of the whole bonanza. I found myself watching the mess as a witness, as if all the loons on the stage were talking about some theoretical country instead of the one I live in, dismissing the needs of this country and cheering for the deaths of uninsured sick people as if such people didn’t exist.

Continue reading What A Sh*tshow: The CNN/Tea Party Debate

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High Hopes For ‘Sarah Palin’s Alaska’

November 15th, 2010 | 2 comments | Posted by Diana

Apple pie and a cross couldn't make this photo more American

Apparently, 5 million people watched the premiere of Sarah Palin’s 8-part reality series, her Alaska, last night.

I was one of them. Miraculously, I held down my vomit through every stinking minute of the TLC hour, mostly because I was hoping that Alaska’s former governor would get eaten by a bear (although I certainly would have settled for her falling off of a mountainside). She didn’t. But there are seven more episodes to go, so here’s hoping.

If you compare this pilot to other recent television hours, like Matt Lauer’s recent interview with the fact-slalom king, George W. Bush, then heck, the content wasn’t at all that infuriating. After all, one could maybe accept Alaska as simply a cloying, stagey, poorly-produced celebreality show (Really, Mark Burnett? You built how many scenes off of one blurred Joe McGinniss cutaway? Tsk!) along the lines of Keeping Up With The Kardashians (except the young, unmarried, unqualified new mom in this show isn’t old enough to drink yet). One could celebrate the soaring music cues, red-white-and-blue lower thirds and Christian-rock theme song of the show as just what the Middle American doctor ordered. One could argue that the vast mountain landscapes, endless skies, and extreme animal closeups legitimize this “travelogue,” excusing Palin’s thinly-if-at-all-veiled political rhetoric–sprinkled throughout each story beat–because she, like a Ken Burns that can’t pronounce “feel,” is just givin’ a much needed voice to the under-appreciated state she loves so darn much.

You could. But you’d be lying, just like anyone who defends the show as “completely non-political.”

Sarah Palin’s Alaska marks an American low, a political low, and HOLY CRAP a reality show low (which I wasn’t sure even existed). I really, REALLY hope there’s a hungry bear in episode two.

[LAT: 'Sarah Palin's Alaska' breaks TLC record with 5 million viewers for premiere]

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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! The Sherrod Charade

July 24th, 2010 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen

Shirley Sherrod

Back in March, Andrew Breitbart wrote a post called “2010: A Race Odyssey — Disproving a Negative for Cash Prizes or, How the Civil Rights Movement Jumped the Shark” for Big Journalism, one of his five websites, in which he claimed that accusations of racism are merely a “trick” of the Left:

As I have said over and over and over, the left has one trick that it will use again and again when its back is in the corner: shout ‘racist’ in a crowded country.

Which is funny, given how Breitbart was the first to post that heavily-edited and manipulated video of USDA employee Shirley Sherrod giving a speech at an NAACP event, and the first to call Sherrod’s speech racist:

“In this piece you will see video evidence of racism coming from a federal appointee and NAACP award recipient and in another clip from the same event a perfect rationalization for why the Tea Party needs to exist.”

That video, which appeared on July 19, touched off a two day-orgy on the part of the right wing-media, in which not only Sherrod, but the NAACP, civil rights activists, the so-called mainstream media, the Obama administration, and pretty much anyone who’s ever been engaged or concerned with race issues was labeled racist. Media Matters For America has a full timeline, but here are a few highlights:

“The—this woman on tape saying these racially charged things that she didn’t want to help farmers, in particular white farmer. That she said she wanted him to go out and deal with one of his own and she put him in touch with a white lawyer. Just the latest in a series of racial incidents.”–Sean Hannity, Hannity, July 19

“The former civil rights group known as the NAACP does not just invite anti-Semite Louis Farrakhan and radical America-hating Marxist Jeremiah Wright to speak at their events…They also invite government officials who hate whitey Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! The Sherrod Charade

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ROCK OF TEA PARTY NASIAN: Lisa Mei Norton

April 28th, 2010 | 10 comments | Posted by Diana

Have you heard about Lisa Mei Norton, right-wing Christian conservative country singer/songwriter?

America's rack!

She wants to keep her guns, finds Michelle Malkin and her ilk to be “smart,” thinks we’ve gone socialist, believes Obama wasn’t born here and loves to (tea) party. Oh, and she’s already working on the indoctrinasian of her six-year-old son. Translasian: She watches Fox News.

Check out her buzzword-laden Tea Party anthem, “A Revolution’s Brewing,” a lovely ditty for all 3,000 of those adorable, overly-acknowledged, grammatically-challenged teabaggers:

Continue reading ROCK OF TEA PARTY NASIAN: Lisa Mei Norton

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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Viet Dinh

February 19th, 2010 | 4 comments | Posted by Diana

You may remember Viet Dinh as George W. Bush’s Assistant Attorney General from 2001 to 2003, and the man hailed as the main author of The Patriot Act (for a memory refresher, download his opus here).


Dinh made a speaking appearance on a panel today at CPAC, the Conservative Political Action Conference, and used the mic to defend the Patriot act as well as call out President Obama for killing too many terrorists.

From HuffPo:

“Why have executions increased?” asked Viet Dinh, a professor at Georgetown University Law Center and one of the authors of the USA Patriot Act. Citing a recent Washington Post article on the increased targeted killing of terrorists, Dinh complained that “the president and vice president expound this fact as a fact that they are actually successful in war.”

“That doesn’t mean I think they are not illegitimate,” he added. “No, we have every right to kill the other side’s warriors. But at what cost? When we do not have an effective detention policy the only option we have is to kill them before we can detain them. And if we don’t detain them, we don’t know what they know and what they are up to.”

Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Viet Dinh

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When Worlds Gently And Mindfully Collide

February 19th, 2010 | 2 comments | Posted by Diana

His Holiness the Dalai Lama with President Barack Obama, at the White House, on February 18.


OBAMA: It is good to finally meet you here, your Holiness. Thank you for coming.

DALAI LAMA: It is good to see you, President Obama.

OBAMA: Your good friend Sharon Stone called the White House today nine times in anticipation of your arrival.

DALAI LAMA: She is–what do you call–a hoot. Very good intention, but very hot mind.

OBAMA: Indeed.

DALAI LAMA: (leaning in) And of course, as nuts as a bowl of almonds.

OBAMA: Yes!

[gently, they chuckle]

OBAMA: Your job seems… challenging.

DALAI LAMA: Your job also seems challenging. However, this is a good test for you.

OBAMA: It is. I believe that that ultimately, the American people are good. We all want to benefit humanity, just go about it in different ways.

Continue reading When Worlds Gently And Mindfully Collide

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Make Your Brain Hurt: Sarah Palin’s Facebook Page

August 12th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Unlike my more tolerant friends (yes, YOU, G Scott and Norman), I can’t watch Fox News every day or even listen to the raving lunacy of Limbaugh once in awhile, just to be sure I’m on top of every single word that the right wing nutjobs are sputtering. Sometimes I just don’t want to know. I can’t deal. It hurts my soul, all that shouting and all of those incessant jokes.

But the flurryfaloo that resulted from the “death panel” comment former Governor of Alaska Sarah Palin posted on her Facebook last week piqued my interest somehow, and awakened that tiny part of me that intentionally smells sour milk–especially as I kept reading the following excerpt:

“The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama’s “death panel” so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their ‘level of productivity in society,’ whether they are worthy of health care. Such a system is downright evil.”

This statement, by the way, has been deemed by non-partisan fact checker PolitiFact is “pants on fire” false. And if DISGRASIAN had a Shame-O-Meter on our site, we’d definitely have to tag this one as “downright shameless.”

It all got me wondering. What’s a “civilian” like Sarah Palin up to on Facebook, anyway? Does she play a ton of Scrabble? Does she give $1 gifts to friends, like AK-47s and cartoon bibles? Does she start membership groups for “Parents of babies with Down Syndrome who refer to those babies only as ‘babies with Down Syndrome’ as if they aren’t, simply put, babies” or “People for Palin 2012?”

But upon further investigation, I realized, it’s all about Sarah’s Facebook wall:


…and I, uh, I immediately remembered why I don’t listen to these nutjobs. Why bother getting upset about those stupid “Nazi’s” and their feelings about “Obamma” and “Hillry?” Why??

[Facebook - Sarah Palin]
[PolitiFact.com]

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With My Mind on My Malkin and My Malkin on My Mind

July 31st, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


DIANA’S THOUGHT PROCESS WHILE WATCHING MICHELLE MALKIN’S RECENT INTERVIEW WITH MATT LAUER (IN PROMOTION OF HER NEW BOOK, CULTURE OF CORRUPTION):

Boy, am I hungry. I wonder if–Whoa. Wow! Those are some teeth! Jesus H.! Michelle Malkin, you do have some fascinating food grinders in that yapper of yours. Do those teeth even fit in that mouth? You work so hard to just streeeetccchhh the top lip, juuust over the rabbit fronts… Do be do be doooo… Oh crap, I’ve got a split end. Where did I put my small scissors? Ope–there’s the new book. OHYEAH…Rah! Corruption in the White House! That’s a new one! Hmm… Book cover could be more clever, for chrissake. Do better, Michelle! Don’t go hiring these up-and-coming graphic designers, that’s just a kind word for “in college!” Oh man. Choppers. Look at her struggle to keep ‘em covered. Her poor lips must be exhausted. Come to think of it, I’m pretty tired… Oh gosh, I never noticed it before, but Matt Lauer is kind of adorable when he’s befuddled and seething with disgust. He hates her. Look how he just totally fucking hates her crazy face… Oh my. Relax that right foot, Michelle! Relax it! You look like you’re about to get up and do a jig!… Ah… Could totally go for some chiclets right now. So strangely in the mood… Oh Mirkin. Slow the fuck down. Your teeth are getting ahead of you now. You’re motoring through your schtick faster than you can jig!… Anyhoozle… I wonder what Jen’s up to right now. She would hate Malkin’s eyebrows. Heck, I do. This gal is wound up so tight! Ohmygaw I JUST realized what she reminds me of! That smug, long-necked, grim chick in my sixth grade class–What was her name? Leslie? Melissa?–who was always worked into a frenzy before giving presentations; she’d always be so intense and jacked up about speaking that she’d just end up shouting every word at the class like an angry Asian grandma with a failure for a grandson, at all times forcing herself to smile. That smile was like a crack in paint, just WRONG. How creepy was she? Also, what was her stupid name again?… This interview is awkward. So awkward. This is worse than Amy Adams on Letterman the other night… Anyway. I wonder if it takes Michelle Malkin longer to floss than most people. Can she use those floss sticks, still? I bet so. Oh man, Lauer is getting an earful. I bet his ears hurt, cuz creepy-crazy-smile-face won’t stop yelling at him! Oh, look how proud she is of that rhetoric. Look! She can’t wait to go home and write about in her diary blog. She should spellcheck more. Oh crap, I should spellcheck more, too. Is it spell check? Or spellcheck? I can’t imagine that spellcheck was a word 100 years ago. But hey, I’ve been wrong before. Once or twice. Good gracious, is this over yet? Matt Lauer looks like he’s about to reach over and shake a bitch. Why do female right-wing pundits always open their eyes as wide as saucers? It’s so crackhead! It makes me nervous! Oh lawd. I’m too hungry for this. Thank god it’s over. Where can I get a breakfast burrito right now?

[via Gawker]

xo, Miz!

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Coult Sore

March 12th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


Michael Steele, new head of the Republican party, occasionally makes a thoughtful point. And he occasionally unloads a whole unnecessary pile of disgrace, like:

“Ann Coulter is one of the best bomb-throwers in the business. She is the Carville of the Republican Party, although I think she’s probably a little bit better at it at times.”

As dismayed as I am to hear Coulter described as “better” or “best” in any context, my real beef is with Steele’s comparison of that demon lady to the illustrious Carville–whose political rants, love of O Ban, and almond eyes have always made me feel like we are soul brothas. Sure, Carville is a hothead with a hot mouth, but he in no way deserves to be so much as mentioned in the same sentence as that filthy, oblong-faced, gangly, hideous, ignorant waste of flesh.

Ann Coulter is the Ann Coulter of the Republican party: A cooze, a floozy, and a disgrace.

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Televised Live With No Preparasian

May 16th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Like my mom, my instinct before tests was always to procrastinate, cram like hell, and pat myself on the back for getting an A+ on a test. My father, on the other hand, would set study schedules that required regulated eating patterns on top of rote memorization, practice tests, and self-administered pop quizzes. He always passed exams with flying colors because he was always 100% prepared. It was no wonder, then, that he was surprised to find himself with a blank mind once and one time only–during his final University thesis, an oral exam administrated by his University mentor. He couldn’t believe it–he just stammered, unable to reach for the solution to the one question in the world he couldn’t possibly have answered, eventually mumbling his way through enough adequate bullshit peppered with appropriate-sounding words. Somehow, he wasn’t busted, and he passed.

This moment, which I now refer to as “Dad’s Singular Moment of Desperasian” was arguably one of the worst in my father’s life–and we’re talking about a man who fought in the opposing army to his own Pop and crossed the Ocean not once, but twice, during the Vietnam war–because he felt responsible for his own downfall. He hadn’t prepared 100% this time. He had clearly only prepared 98%.

Later, he was so determined that none of his four daughters would ever experience such a shameful event (oh lofty goals), pressing on us for years to study with diligince and respect, and never be caught empty handed when knowledge was meant to be on our side.

So you can imagine how horrified Dad would be if Kevin James, right wing radio host for KRLA in Los Angeles, was his son. No, not just because he’s a goofy, loud-mouthed, and not Asian (I’m sure there would be lots of questions for Mom)–but because yesterday he got his ass handed to him on Hardball. He hadn’t thought to prepare.

We’ve all observed George W. Bush’s deplorable choice to make a pointed attack on Obama’s foreign policy. CNN reports:

“Some seem to believe we should negotiate with terrorists and radicals, as if some ingenious argument will persuade them they have been wrong all along,” Bush said at Israel’s 60th anniversary celebration in Jerusalem.

“We have heard this foolish delusion before,” Bush said in remarks to Israel’s parliament, the Knesset. “As Nazi tanks crossed into Poland in 1939, an American senator declared: ‘Lord, if only I could have talked to Hitler, all of this might have been avoided.’ We have an obligation to call this what it is — the false comfort of appeasement, which has been repeatedly discredited by history.”

And many of us immediately racked our brains for the historical facts. Bush referring to “appeasement” suddenly made many of us think about Former British prime minister Neville Chamberlin, who urged the cessation of a large part of the Czechoslovakian state to Germany in 1938. And if it didn’t, the rest of us probably Googled “appeasement” and “1938″ to start doing our research.

But before going on Hardball to spar with host Chris Matthews and Air America President Mark Green, James did not think, nor Google, nor prepare. So after much ranting loudly about how proud he was of Bush’s comments, and how appropriate those historical references were, he could not confirm any historical knowledge. In fact, he simply couldn’t answer Matthews’s one simple question: Historically, what did Neville Chamberlin do that was so wrong?

Witness:

Being busted this badly in public just shouldn’t happen. Being called “pathetic” when you’re live to camera just shouldn’t happen. I tell you, I cringe violently from embarrassment when I hear James trying to fake it (“He was…an appeaser!”) or fight his flustered feelings (“Nevin Chamber was… an appeaser, Chris!”). My heart actually aches a little for his hot little head, scrambling for some other word that doesn’t rhyme with “geezer.”

And I just wish James had either done his homework or had a dad like mine. At least before he humiliated himself on live television.

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Thanks, RJ!

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