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Earlier this month, Rihanna tweeted a pic of a bag of rice cakes dressed in wayfarers and gold hoops accompanied by the caption “Ima make u my bitch,” which everyone interpreted as her throwing shade at Karrueche Tran, Chris Brown’s current girlfriend, who is of Vietnamese and African American descent.
Some people have asked if this is racist. YES. Yes it is. I think of Rihanna’s legion of young fans who are Asian, and I’m sad for them. I’m sad, too, that Rihanna’s instigating a bitchfight with another woman over a man-child who, um, beat her in the face.
I’m also sad that Rihanna’s eating janky-ass Safeway-brand rice cakes when she should be all over Lundberg organics, and yes, I do think that’s a metaphor for her shitty life choices.
Filed under: Birthday Cake, Children, Chris Brown, Chris Brown Abusive, Chris Brown's Girlfriend, Dumbasses, Karrueche Tran, Racist Tweets, Rice Cakes, Ricism, Rihanna, Stupid, Twitter Wars, You're All Grounded
Last week, during his kickoff speech at the first National
Teabagger Tea Party Convention, former congressman Tom Tancredo called for voters to take civics literacy tests and suggested President Obama only got elected because the U.S. doesn’t require them.
“People who could not even spell the word ‘vote,’ or say it in English, put a committed socialist idealogue in the White House, name is Barack Hussein Obama,” Tancredo said.
Tancredo, a one-note anti-immigration advocate, got a partner-in-hysteria this week when Yeh Ling-Ling, executive director of the creepy-sounding Alliance for a Sustainable USA–a non-profit that champions an outright immigration moratorium and couches its anti-immigration agenda in more palatable terms such as “environmentalism” and being for “social coherence”–came out in support of the idea.
Ms. Yeh, wouldn’t you know, is herself an immigrant several times over. From a 2004 Sierra magazine–as in The Sierra Club–profile:
Filed under: Anti-Immigration, Beans and Ricism, Civics Literacy Test, Conservatards, Haters, Immigrant Haters, Immigrants, Immigration Reform, National Tea Party Convention, Ricism, Tea Party Conventions, Tom Tancredo
A NY Times story this week cited several recent studies that show how having a college roommate of a different race can improve racial attitudes. One study at Duke found that white freshmen students were more likely to develop diverse friendships as a result of an interracial roommate sitch, another at Ohio State discovered that black freshmen with high standardized-test scores got better grades when paired with white roommates, perhaps because having a white roommate helped black students adjust more to a predominantly white campus.
So, basically, having a roommate of another race makes you less racist. Unless you’re Asian. The Times piece noted that one study, conducted at UCLA in 2004, found that not only were Asian-Americans the most prejudiced group, but we actually made our roommates more prejudiced. Yikes.
But here’s the upshot. We beat out whites, blacks, and Latinos to be the most racist! We’re number one! Once again, we dominate the college campus! We rule!
(Psst…Is that racist? Really?)
Okay, then, I guess there is no upshot.
As joz took pictures of her fam on Mother’s Day, it kept pestering her with the question “Did someone blink?” even though no one had. How homegirl had the restraint not to murder the camera right there, we’ll never know.
Now, Nikon either needs a talkback function on this camera, something along the lines of “No, bitch, those are my muthafuckin’ eyes, and if you ask me that again, I’ll rip your dick off” or they just need to recall this joint stat.
The LPGA has scrapped its plan to suspend players who don’t pass an oral English exam, after protests from sponsors, athletes, Asian-American groups, and California State Senator Leland Yee (pictured right). According to Bloomberg, the LPGA has 121 international players from 26 countries, including 45 South Koreans. The English-only policy was considered to be targeting Asians, who have won 7 out of 24 events this year.
I’m glad the LPGA has come to its senses. Frankly, if Senator Yee were giving me that Hardass Evil Eye, I would, too! I’d also make straight A’s on my next report card, wear modest clothing, become a violin virtuoso, respect my elders, go to Chinese school every Saturday, and never have sex!
Filed under: Asian Golfers, Chinese School, Discriminatory Policies, English Only, Golf, Golfers, Hardass Asian Legislators, Leland Yee, Report Cards, Ricism, Sex, The Evil Eye, The LPGA Tour, Violin Virtuousos
Let’s face it. Nobody writes letters any more. And that’s just sad. We’d like to bring letter-writing back, so we present our DOTW this week in epistolary fashion:
You like writing letters? Us, too! Let’s be friends.
pen pals 4eva,
your partners in haterasian,
You held a grudge for 20 years? Dayum, man. That’s more hardcore than Jen’s dad, who will disown you if you have, like, bad taste in movies. We’re not sayin’ that that’s healthy or anything. But it is pretty darn Asian.
good luck with that,
Hold up. You hate black people? And you wrote over 200 hate letters and emails to black men because a black guy “stole” your girlfriend 20 years ago? Duuude. You got problems. We are sooo not down with you. Neither is the U.S. justice system, which just sentenced you to three years in the clink.
P.S. Forget about us writing to you in prison or, like, ever again. Because, like Jen’s dad, we hold a pretty mean grudge ourselves. And once, as Heidi Klum would say, you’re out, your ass is out, naw mean?
Ever wonder how an internet meme gets started? Or, for that matter, how it then spreads and metastasizes until it becomes accepted fact?
Over the last week, we’ve seen one particular meme develop about China: “China Hates Black People” (courtesy of Perez Hilton).
This idea didn’t, however, originate with Perez Hilton. It started last Friday with a story in Hong Kong’s South China Morning Post, “Authorities order bars not to serve black people,” which alleged that Chinese government authorities were secretly planning to ban blacks from bars during the Olympic games. Reporter Tom Miller based the story on the claim of one anonymous source:
“Uniformed Public Security Bureau officers came into the bar recently and told me not to serve black people or Mongolians,” said the co-owner of a western-style bar, who asked not to be named.
Then Miller quoted another unnamed source, a “black British national who lives in Beijing,” to further shore up the story:
“Chinese people are prejudiced, but I would have hoped that the government would set a better example as it debuts on the world stage.”
The story was then picked up by legitimate news sources like Reuters, The Globe and Mail, and The Age, and that was before it hit the blog-o-sphere. Four days later, around the same time that the Chinese government officially denied that such a ban existed, Perez Hilton posted the story, et voila…a meme is born. In the two days since and at the time of this writing, 649 comments have been made about Perez’s post, and many of them are loaded with xenophobia, racism, and hate, and not just for the Chinese:
Look. There are plenty of reasons to distrust the Chinese government and not believe a word it says. Free speech does not exist there, dissidents are routinely jailed and silenced, and the government doesn’t pretend to be a democracy. We’re all pretty familiar with its suppressive tactics. Just ask Tibet. As a first-generation Chinese-American, I was raised with a healthy dose of suspicion when it comes to China’s government, because it was the Communists, after all, who chased both sides of my family out of the country, tried to kill my great-grandfather, tossed my great-grandmother into a labor camp for the rest of her life, almost killed my father (the bomb that dropped next to him was, fortunately, a dud), took away my mother’s ancestral home, made one of my uncles a permanent invalid, and generally devastated the lives of everyone I’m related to. My experience teaching in China after I got out of college only confirmed my feelings that this was a country where you couldn’t talk freely and you had to toe the party line and the government had ultimate power.
But I find this story about China banning blacks from bars during the Olympics–and how little it’s been substantiated–very difficult to swallow. China has strong ties to Africa, some of them a bit too strong for my taste (just ask Sudan). Beijing is an international city filled with foreigners. Of course, you will find Chinese people who are prejudiced, racist, and xenophobic. Some of them are my relatives! (During my year-stint there, I met a lovely older teacher who told me he was “afraid of blacks” even though he had never actually met a black person. And where did he get this idea? American movies.)
Kudos to the Shanghaiist for following up the South China Morning Post‘s story with a considerable debunking and especially to Beijing Boyce (“A Somewhat Young China Hand on the Local Drinking Scene”), who did some actual reporting on this and hit many bars in Beijing after the story broke, painting a drastically different picture from the one in the Hong Kong paper.
Still, the Chinese are great at keeping secrets (just ask Calgon). So if this turns out to be true, you know that Diana and I will be first in line to shame the shit out of my mother ship. But, in the meantime, the idea that “China Hates Black People” is out there and, sadly, although it was intended as a commentary on racism, it’s only served to stir up more.
(To contact Perez Hilton, email email@example.com)
Somebody tell me this Reuters story’s not true–“Japanese athletes begin chopstick-less ‘food camp’”:
TOKYO (Reuters) – Japanese athletes have begun a spartan, chopstick-free Chinese food training program to help them acclimatize for this year’s Beijing Olympics.
First of all, a message to Japanese Olympians: SACKTHEFUCKUP. You have to train for speed, strength, and endurance. You have to train to win a gold medal (or a silver or bronze, if you’re cool with slightly disappointing your country). You don’t have to “train” to eat Chinese food, candy asses.
Second, a message to Beijing Olympic organizers: WHATTHEFUCK. You’re in China, you’re serving Chinese food, ergo, you need to provide some muthafuckin chopsticks.
After an overwhelmingly negative response to those Salesgenie.com ads aired during Sunday’s Super Bowl, chairman and chief executive Vinod Gupta of InfoUSA, parent company of Salesgenie.com, decided to pull the commercials two days later. And what did Gupta tell the New York Times in defense of the ads?
“We never thought anyone would be offended,” said Mr. Gupta, who developed and wrote both commercials himself.
TRANSLASIAN: I have my head up my ass. I can’t help it; it is a congenital defect.
“The pandas are Chinese,” he said. “They don’t speak German.”
TRANSLASIAN: Nothing coming out of my mouth makes sense, because it is up my ass.
Mr. Gupta said he planned to keep running the other Salesgenie commercial, featuring an animated salesman named Ramesh who speaks with an Indian or other South Asian accent.
The reason, Mr. Gupta said, was that “more people seem upset about the pandas than Ramesh.”
TRANSLASIAN: Yup. You guessed it. My head’s still up my ass.
“People have been making fun of my accent for years,” said Mr. Gupta, who described himself in the interview as half-Indian and half-Jewish. “And I love it.”
TRANSLASIAN: I hate myself. I have a gun in my mouth which is up my ass as you all know by now. Oh, the taste of hard, cold metal on my tongue inside a soft, warm ass-chamber!
Get a fuckin’ muzzle, Vinod!
Angry Asian Man first warned y’all about this Salesgenie.com Super Bowl ad, which aired yesterday to the tune of $90,000 per second and illustrates the all-too-familiar plight of immigrants with small businesses struggling to make ends meet:
And while everyone’s now talking about why this commercial is ricist, I want to focus on something else. Something important. Something really important:
Why the Panda Psychic does not have an accent.
A few theories…
Yesterday, 12 year-old Kevin Shen went on Ellen and gave a recital of Guitar Hero III‘s “Through the Fire and Flames” on Expert. The kid was not perfect, but he was boss. Even guitarist Herman Li, who plays lead for DragonForce, the metal band who wrote the song, was reportedly only able to get through 2% of it on HARD. And, as a note of comparison, even WE [dusts off lapels] haven’t gotten through it on Expert.
Hardcore GH players over at Score Hero were quick to bag on Shen, saying things like “bullshitted his way through” and “I wish I could have been there to be like, ‘OK noob, it’s on.”
It was later revealed that all of these comments were posted on the forum by Shen’s Hardass Asian Mother, who was in the studio audience for his performance and totally unimpressed. “This won’t get his scrawny ass into an Ivy League school,” she was overheard saying at the taping.
Filed under: Cutie Patooties, DragonForce, Guitar Hero III, Hardass Asian Parents, Herman Li, Kevin Shen, Pick On Someone Your Own Size Cheesedicks, Prodigies, Ricism, This is Why DISGRASIAN Doesn't Allow Comments
…no, y’all, that ain’t a newfangled ricial slur, that’s you, Friends Of DISGRASIAN.
We have exciting news!
No, neither of us is pregnant.
We are now contributors to 23/6, the HuffPost’s newly-launched comedy site. It’s Jon Stewart meets Jen and Diana! Check out our first post (last week’s DOTW updated), about the HaraGossip Girls.