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BABEWATCH: Junichi Tazawa

April 7th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen


Name: Junichi Tazawa

Age: 22

Hails from: Yokohama, Japan

Occupation: Baseball pitcher

Why He’s a Babe: When the 22 year-old Red Sox right-hander pitches, his eyes get wide and his lips press together in a line, and he kinda looks like an adorable Sanrio character. But though the MLB newbie has a sweet baby face, there’s nothing babyish about his stuff, including his 97 mph-fastball that first impressed MLB scouts. “Taz” may have just been sent down to the Sox’s double-A farm team, the Portland Sea Dogs, because he’s still wet behind the ears, but we predict it won’t be long before we see his cute mug crop up in the bigs.

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SPORTS ILLUSTRASIAN: Opening Daysian

March 26th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Opening Day came early this year for the Red Sox and A’s (Tuesday 3 AM PST, to be exact) at the Tokyo Dome in Japan. Red Sox Nasian East and West turned out for the two-game series, which the Sox and A’s split.

I was sadly not in attendance, but Commish Bud “Ka-Ching-Chong” Selig showed up in the announcers’ booth for Game 1 and he said:

“I got up this morning, and as tired as I was…I was excited. Coming out here tonight and watching the Red Sox and the A’s, it’s really just remarkable. This could not have worked out any better.”

Then he splooged his pants and cried, “Play ball!” in perfect Japanglish.

With the new season sorta kinda underway, I thought it would be a good time to call dibs on Sawx center fielder Jacoby “Hot Ass” Ellsbury. Hear that, girls and gays?

Ellsbury, who is of Navajo descent, was called up late last year and, uh, performed artfully for Boston in the postseason, swinging, er, a huge bat (.438) in the World Series. During the season opener, he pulled off some spiderman shit in center:


Quite a catch, huh?

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