You are currently browsing posts tagged with Really Dumb People

Alexandra Wallace Knows Jack About The Internet

March 17th, 2011 | 3 comments | Posted by Jen

But you already knew that, right? Because if Ms. Wallace had any understanding of how the Interwebz works, she might have anticipated the overwhelming and overwhelmingly negative response her video “Asians In The Library” would receive and nipped–no pun intended–the idea in the bud, continuing her college career instead in the usual quiet, polite, epiphanic-manner in which she’s clearly always conducted herself.

Further evidence of her ignorance–web-related and otherwise–surfaced today in Wallace’s hometown paper, The Sacramento Bee, in which it was revealed that Wallace’s father had written on his Facebook page last Friday morning, around the time Wallace posted the video:

“My daughter wants to start a blog. She’s asking for domain suggestions for ‘Asians on their cellphones in the library!’ She’s shooting videos as I write.”

“ASKING FOR DOMAIN SUGGESTIONS”???

Okay, look. I’m not even taking issue with the fact that she at some point thought making “Asians In The Library” into some kind of serial thing was a good idea or that she thought her dad would be the most appropriate counsel for matters pertaining to the youngs or even that her dad didn’t judge her blog idea to be totally racist and wack and think to intervene with a little fatherly advice–but, while we’re on the subject, what up with that?–I’m taking issue with the fact that THE DOMAIN SUGGESTION WAS RIGHT UNDER HER GODDAMN NOSE AND SHE COULDN’T SEE IT.

Continue reading Alexandra Wallace Knows Jack About The Internet

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The Devolution Of The Racist

December 10th, 2010 | 8 comments | Posted by Jen

What’s the deal with racists and bad spelling and grammar?  Do they not teach that shit at the University of Racism Learning Annex?

From Abbotsford, Wisconsin, where a man by the name of Mark Prior has decided to open a janky-ass STD den private gentleman’s club where there will be “No Negro’s Allowed [Double Exclamation Point-Into-Smiley Face]“:

And then there’s Chuck Biddinger of East Lake, Alabama, who likes to use his electronic repair store sign to tell jokes(?) like this one: “BBQ PORK RESTURANT IS SAFEST. NO MUSLIMS INSIDE”:

Continue reading The Devolution Of The Racist

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DOUBLE DISGWITTER OF THE WEAK! Alicia Machado & Paulina Rubio

December 1st, 2010 | 1 comment | Posted by Diana

If Alicia Machado, actress/singer and former Miss Universe, hadn’t quit Twitter, perhaps she would’ve continued to chat with her pal, Mexican singer/actress Paulina Rubio, about the recent public outcry against her prayers for The Chinas. We imagine it might have gone something like…

YoSoyMzUniverse96* Alicia Machado
Me encanta @paurubio, thx 4 ur support w/ all the china drrama! ppl r stoopid

paurubio Paulina Rubio
@yosoymzuniverse96 Hay girl! Dont let haterz hate. All thoz Japanes look the same!

YoSoyMzUniverse96 Alicia Machado
@paurubio wut ppl dont understand is i’m really a good person, jus wanted every1 to pray for those chinese ppl that are being attacked, not the 1s who attacked or nuthing

paurubio Paulina Rubio
@yosoymzuniverse96 besos chica! ppl should be proud that such a hot mama knows so much abt current news affairs. n korea is same place as n asia/s japan, etc. all look same N E wayz Continue reading DOUBLE DISGWITTER OF THE WEAK! Alicia Machado & Paulina Rubio

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We All Look Alike? Well If You Say So, Let’s Get A Drink

September 15th, 2010 | 5 comments | Posted by Diana

I used my sister’s California drivers license as a fake ID from age 14 to 20. She’s eight years older, four inches shorter, and about 20 pounds lighter than me. I remember using the faker in Vegas with a mouthful of braces to win $160 in blackjack, during high school to get into 21+ shows, and all through college to stock my liquid-soaked house parties with coconut-flavored rum and Wild Turkey. Look, if the person checking my face was too dumb to tell us apart, who was I to point out their inadequacies? And for crying out loud, if a Parrot Bay and Wild Turkey purchase isn’t a dead giveaway of total underage-ness, I don’t know what is.

Is benefiting from some dork thinking all Asians look alike wrong? I don’t know. Do I care? Eh, not really.

Gawker reported this morning that three Japanese Lolitas (image above is not them) crashed Tom Ford’s ultra-secret, 100-seat fashion week party Monday night (just one bash, according to a tipster, of many among “the hottest parties all around town.”) Clad in platforms and pinafores, the trio gained entry by saying that one of them was Vogue Nippon editor-in-chief Mitsuko Watanabe, whose photo is to the right (One can only infer that Watanabe rarely, if ever, rocks her homeland’s esoteric, dirty-little-girl street style).

Unfortunately for the imposter and her party pals, Watanabe had already arrived and was seated in her, er, seat. The jig was quickly up and the girls were sent on their merry way. But the coup did happen–success for the Japanese Lolita tricksters! Can you blame them for trying? And succeeding?

Look, if the hoighty-toighty party list weilders are too stupid to tell them apart…

[via Gawker]
[Styleite: Japanese Trio Crashes Tom Ford's Private Show]

Continue reading We All Look Alike? Well If You Say So, Let’s Get A Drink

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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Tony Hayward, BP CEO

May 14th, 2010 | 3 comments | Posted by Diana




My mom would say that stupidity is the first step towards disgrace, and thusly, saying stupid things one of the world’s most disgraceful acts.

I wonder if Tony Hayward, BP’s CEO, thought about that before he spit up this drivel during an idiotic interview with the UK’s Guardian:

The Gulf of Mexico is a very big ocean. The amount of volume of oil and dispersant we are putting into it is tiny in relation to the total water volume,” he said.

Okay, before somebody explains this guy how an oil spill that’s already bigger than the state of Maryland can never be dismissed as “tiny,” can we please tell him what a fuckin’ ocean is? And how the Gulf of Mexico–which is actually an ocean basin–ISN’T ONE?

View HuffPo’s gallery of the “tiny” oil damage here.

[via HuffPo]
[Guardian UK: BP Boss Tony Hayward Admits Job Is On The Line Over Deepwater Oil Spill]

Source
Thanks, Eliza!

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I’m With Terry Bradshaw

April 13th, 2010 | 5 comments | Posted by Diana

Hey Ben, you big, dumb, fucking dog. Thanks for today’s apology.

For your sake and mine, I am glad that you will not be criminally charged for rough-banging that college chick in a dingy bar bathroom. No evidence + you’re a rich celebrity athlete = BIG PHEW! At least for this season (Ed note–Ladies, don’t hate. I need football to live and this is a humor blog).

Don’t tell me what really happened. I don’t know, I don’t want to know, I don’t really care. Shut up. Just shut up.

You and I have already been through a rough patch. Remember that leetle moto accident in ’06, when you were all, “WhatEVA! I’m 24! I’ve won a Super Bowl! I don’t CARE about no stinkin’ helmet! I don’t CARE about my HEAD! I don’t CARE about some goddamn professional football team and our legacy of gritty honor, don’t care about my coveted starting QB position, don’t care about my teammates or the Rooneys, or the hopes and dreams of Diana and her family and all of the wonderful Pittsburgh fans around the world! I’m a big, dumb, fucking dog! I look like a human Clifford! Weeeee! Let’s ride!” And then you broke your stupid face? Yeah, me too. That wasn’t cool.

BUT I FORGAVE YOU. Yes, it took another Super Bowl ring for me to do it, but I still sorta did.

This is different.  Dude, you’ve been accused of sexual assault twice in the last year. I realize we’re talking about accusations, not charges, but dude: TWICE. ONE YEAR. Even your derelict former teammates Santonio and Plaxico are thinking, “Damn, homey! Slow down!”

How hard is it to think, Ben? Just think with your seemingly broken brain. Is, say, dinner Continue reading I’m With Terry Bradshaw

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Whitten Up

October 26th, 2009 | 2 comments | Posted by Diana

Larry Whitten, a Texan and former marine in his sixties, purchased a failing hotel in Taos, New Mexico, and revamped it as the Whitten Inn.

Trouble in Taos

Whitten and his "whitened" Inn. Just talk American, why dontcha!

Quickly, he showed the staff there was a new sheriff in town. And this new sheriff was looking at his largely Latino staff as too spicy for future clientele. Soon, orders for employees to Anglicize their names (from “Marcos” to “Mark,” for example) were enforced. These were joined by demands to only speak English, a measure meant to prevent staff members for talking shit about Whitten behind his back. And those who did not respond well to these new rules were fired.

Whitten’s reasoning for altering just “ethnic” first names? From AP:

“I’m not doing it for any reason other than for the satisfaction of my guests, because people calling from all over America don’t know the Spanish accents or the Spanish culture or Spanish anything.”

Oh, of course! Because a tourist headed to TAOS, NEW MEXICO–which was established in the 18th century by Spaniards and currently boasts a Hispanic/Latino population of over 54%–should most certainly expect an experience free of all things Spanish, including names/accents/culture/architecture/blood in every inch of soil! Why should they have to deal with that shit? Especially when they’re forking out a cool $49 for their luxury suite??

In reaction, the people of Taos have quickly protested, picketed, and publicly slammed Whitten in the media, calling him an ignorant racist. I applaud ‘em, by golly, but think it could be even simpler than that.

Whitten may or may not be racist, but for absolute certain: he is a REALLY DUMB FUCK, and moreover, a BAD BUSINESSMAN.

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Smooth Move, Ex-Lax

August 18th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Seriously, CNN?


In your next Ticker poll, will you be asking people whether or not grass is still green?

[CNN: Palin's Move Not Smart, Says Poll]

Source

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Imperfect, Indeed

May 20th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Mariah exclusively announced the name of her new album today on Twitter, which is slated to be called Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel.

Frankly, we figured after all of our helpful comments regarding her last record, the new LP would have been dedicated to us, and maybe even called DISGRASIAN is the Bestest Blog Ever–but no dice. WTF!?!?

Overall, though, we’re just glad she didn’t follow up E=MC² with a rekkid called U Hotter Than Quantum Theory, Lamb. Or Memoirs of a Hot Geisha. “Glad,” by the way.

Additional note: Think we’re wrong to judge Ms. Carey on her brains? Try “reading” her tweets (if your brain starts to hurt, stop) and we’re sure you’ll feel differently.

[Mariah Carey on Twitter]

Source

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Miss Prejean USA

May 12th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Here’s a video of Carrie Prejean, the reigning Miss California, near tears at a press conference–while talking about how she was unfairly treated after answering a tough question about (tsk!) gay marriage during this year’s pageant:

And here’s me (or Jen), playing the world’s smallest violin:


Sigh. What a dumb bitch.

[The Guardian: Trump says Miss California can keep her crown]

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Confucius Say: Panama Should Be Worry

May 11th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

¿Quién supo?

Philosophizing in both Japanese and Chinese during the 6th Century would confuse us, too.

[via Dlisted]
[Jezebel: "Such As" Is A Global Phenomenon]


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Miss California, Thank You

April 20th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

…for reminding me to be grateful for my right to “choose,” uh, “opposite marriage” in this fine, ehrm, “land.”

Wait, what??

[via @perezhilton]

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