You are currently browsing posts tagged with Racial Drag

Call Her "Geisha-ca" Simpson

August 21st, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Jessica Simpson went to Tokyo this month to film scenes for her MTV reality show on beauty and body-image, where she roamed the streets in racial drag as a geisha:

Incidentally, during her stay, a 6.6 earthquake hit near Tokyo, and Jessica tweeted about it. (If you Google “6.6 earthquake,” the first entry you get is “Jessica Simpson tweets about 6.6 earthquake while in Japan.”)

So, let’s see…Jessica Simpson visits Tokyo as a geisha, then a 6.6 earthquake hits. Hmm


[via BuzzFeed]


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Katy Perry’s Asian?

July 28th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Fact: Asians love Josh Groban.

It all goes back to Groban’s version of “You Raise Me Up.” “YRMU” is a siren song to our people–vaguely religious, anthemic, treacly, referencing nature–”mountains” and “stormy seas”–and perfect for karaoke (and by “perfect” I mean perfect for butchering, given some of its tricky high notes).

Michelle Kwan skated to it.

A Japanese version of it was the theme song to a 2007 anime series called Romeo x Juliet.

Filipina teen singing phenom and Oprah-favorite Charice Pempengco recorded it for her second album, My Inspiration, which was released in May of this year.

Shoot, even my parents sang it with their Chinese choir a few years ago (um, speaking of butchering).

So, I’m not saying Katy Perry, who’s been linked with Josh Groban, is Asian or anything…

But I think it’s really really weird that she stole my mama’s tattoo.

[via Gawker]

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Kung Fu Girl Riesling: It’s Yellow! And It Kicks Ass!

July 21st, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

How much do I gotta pay you to order Charles Smith Wines’ “Kung Fu Girl Riesling” in public, with a straight face, without your genitals totally shriveling from shame?

Described by her winemakers as a Riesling that “kicks ass” and contains “delicate aromas of stone fruit, white peach, apricot, Asian pear and white spring blossoms,” Kung Fu Girl retails for a mere $12.

So, you know, I’m not going to pay you that much.

[Charles Smith Wines]

Thanks, HawaiiDawg!

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Paris in Dubai

June 18th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

At a press conference Wednesday in Dubai, Paris Hilton announced that she’s filming a new version of her reality show Paris Hilton’s My New BFF there.

Because there’s not enough effed-up shit going on in the Middle East right now. No, not really.


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The Family That’s Awkward Together Stays Together

June 9th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Have you checked out the three month-old site, Awkward Family Photos? Perhaps you’ve already submitted your own pics, like when your dad was rocking that five inch-wide polyester tie or when you had that man-perm mullet that made you look like a show poodle instead of Mario Lopez circa Saved by the Bell. Lots of funny family portraits are to be found here, including families in business together, families in racial drag, and, you know, families just looking creepy and weird for no particular reason.

There are, of course, some photos of famous families, too:

Awkward Family Dicks

That’s our embellishment by the way, and not something original to the photo, although given Kim Jong Il’s awkward relationship with his Number One Son, seems plausible, doesn’t it?


[Awkward Family Photos]

Thanks, Neal!

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RIP David Carradine

June 4th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

David Carradine, 73, who was best known for his work in the 70′s TV show Kung Fu and the Kill Bill movies, was found dead Thursday in a hotel room in Bangkok, from an apparent suicide.

Kung Fu (1972-1975) centered around Carradine’s justice-seeking character, Kwai Chang Caine, aka “Grasshopper,” a half-white, half-Chinese orphan raised by Shaolin monks. During that time–and long after in syndication–Carradine seemed to be the only Asian star on TV. That’s no joke. It was a joke, of course, that Carradine was white, but his character was kinda all Asian people had to root for, for a while.

Carradine, who had no knowledge of martial arts before the show, became a lifelong practitioner of Tai Chi and Qi Gong.


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Su Her–for Defamasian of Cut Roll Character

June 2nd, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

When in the business of blogging (“business,” by the way), one often finds themself face-to-face with a photograph that simultaneously compels and stumps them.

Case in point, Katy Perry’s sushi outfit from Japan’s MTV Video Awards:

Don’t even try to tell me that sushit is fresh

…which is obviously abhorrent. But the question is, why? Is it simply the off-putting element of Perry’s racial drag: her geisha girl kimono, heavy-slanted eyeliner, noir-colored mop? Could it be that I’m simply confused, like Jen, about why the fuck this chick is famous besides kissing a girl (also: who hasn’t?) and magically cloning the impish-smug-pinup facade of quirktress with the mostess, Zooey Deschanel? Do I immediately loathe those rocketing up the career ladder in their young twenties, because it reminds me that I’m now suffering through my criminally miserable late twenties, and soon will be too old to be an Influential Asian American Under 30?


But I think it might just be the sweet shrimp at the crotch.

Smells like…

That just ain’t right. It ain’t.

[via Eat Me Daily]

Thanks, Jasmine!

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Ko-ching-chong-be Bryant

May 5th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Speaking of the L.A. Fakers, how did I miss the launch of Kobe’s Chinese-language blog back in January, where he went in full racial drag as one of us?

I swear he stabbed himself near the eye because even he knew what ka-ching-chong foolery that get-up was.


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And Let’s Not Fuggedabout "Guindians"

March 17th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen
You ♥ Chanel, too?! Let’s make out!

No excessive tanning required.


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Nicole Scherzinger, You Are the Reason that We Breathe

March 11th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

“Hello, beautiful people. Nicole Scherzinger–that’s Shurrrzinger–here. I hope you caught our beautiful performance of “Jai Ho” last night on Jimmy Fallon. Gratuitous boob-touching and prayer hands were flyin’ all over the place. No, I’m not Indian, but I am so honored that people think I am, and that I represent to the world all of the beautiful plethora multitudinous diversely cultures within it, because when I was growing up, there was no one who looked like me, and people called me names, and I wasn’t told I was beautiful, even though inside I knew that I had a light shining in me, and I was special, and one day everyone would see that light and see the real ‘Nicole,’ and all that was beauty and harmony and unicorns. And how mad-wicked is this bindi? It represents something beautiful and…uh…uh…beauty…and…please everyone go buy our single.”

Thanks, Jack!

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Jessica Alba Is Just Like Me

February 4th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Jessica Alba thinks she’s one of us. In the latest issue of Elle magazine, she says:

“…there aren’t many other stars, besides Halle Berry and Jennifer Lopez, who most people in the world can related to. We look like people of the world – I can kind of mix in with girls in Asia, South America, Europe.”

Okay. Let’s consider this for a second.

Like me, Jessica Alba played the violin:

Like me, Jessica Alba has thick, china doll-bangs:

And like me,* Jessica Alba has a bangin’ bikini bod:

I don’t know about you, but I feel pretty convinced.

Welcome to the tribe, Jessica Alba!

*Okay, this is not exactly true.

Source Source Source
Thanks, Jasmine and Eukadanz!

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Obama’s Doppelgäsian

January 21st, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Meet 34 year-old Ilham Anas, an Indonesian magazine photographer who has risen from obscurity to fame in recent months for obvious reasons:

Which means we can now truly say that Obama is one of us! Yessssssssssss!


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