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Incidentally, during her stay, a 6.6 earthquake hit near Tokyo, and Jessica tweeted about it. (If you Google “6.6 earthquake,” the first entry you get is “Jessica Simpson tweets about 6.6 earthquake while in Japan.”)
So, let’s see…Jessica Simpson visits Tokyo as a geisha, then a 6.6 earthquake hits. Hmm…
Fact: Asians love Josh Groban.
It all goes back to Groban’s version of “You Raise Me Up.” “YRMU” is a siren song to our people–vaguely religious, anthemic, treacly, referencing nature–”mountains” and “stormy seas”–and perfect for karaoke (and by “perfect” I mean perfect for butchering, given some of its tricky high notes).
A Japanese version of it was the theme song to a 2007 anime series called Romeo x Juliet.
Filipina teen singing phenom and Oprah-favorite Charice Pempengco recorded it for her second album, My Inspiration, which was released in May of this year.
Shoot, even my parents sang it with their Chinese choir a few years ago (um, speaking of butchering).
So, I’m not saying Katy Perry, who’s been linked with Josh Groban, is Asian or anything…
But I think it’s really really weird that she stole my mama’s tattoo.
How much do I gotta pay you to order Charles Smith Wines’ “Kung Fu Girl Riesling” in public, with a straight face, without your genitals totally shriveling from shame?
Described by her winemakers as a Riesling that “kicks ass” and contains “delicate aromas of stone fruit, white peach, apricot, Asian pear and white spring blossoms,” Kung Fu Girl retails for a mere $12.
So, you know, I’m not going to pay you that much.
At a press conference Wednesday in Dubai, Paris Hilton announced that she’s filming a new version of her reality show Paris Hilton’s My New BFF there.
Because there’s not enough effed-up shit going on in the Middle East right now. No, not really.
Have you checked out the three month-old site, Awkward Family Photos? Perhaps you’ve already submitted your own pics, like when your dad was rocking that five inch-wide polyester tie or when you had that man-perm mullet that made you look like a show poodle instead of Mario Lopez circa Saved by the Bell. Lots of funny family portraits are to be found here, including families in business together, families in racial drag, and, you know, families just looking creepy and weird for no particular reason.
There are, of course, some photos of famous families, too:
That’s our embellishment by the way, and not something original to the photo, although given Kim Jong Il’s awkward relationship with his Number One Son, seems plausible, doesn’t it?
Kung Fu (1972-1975) centered around Carradine’s justice-seeking character, Kwai Chang Caine, aka “Grasshopper,” a half-white, half-Chinese orphan raised by Shaolin monks. During that time–and long after in syndication–Carradine seemed to be the only Asian star on TV. That’s no joke. It was a joke, of course, that Carradine was white, but his character was kinda all Asian people had to root for, for a while.
Carradine, who had no knowledge of martial arts before the show, became a lifelong practitioner of Tai Chi and Qi Gong.
When in the business of blogging (“business,” by the way), one often finds themself face-to-face with a photograph that simultaneously compels and stumps them.
Case in point, Katy Perry’s sushi outfit from Japan’s MTV Video Awards:
But I think it might just be the sweet shrimp at the crotch.
That just ain’t right. It ain’t.
I swear he stabbed himself near the eye because even he knew what ka-ching-chong foolery that get-up was.
No excessive tanning required.
“Hello, beautiful people. Nicole Scherzinger–that’s Shurrrzinger–here. I hope you caught our beautiful performance of “Jai Ho” last night on Jimmy Fallon. Gratuitous boob-touching and prayer hands were flyin’ all over the place. No, I’m not Indian, but I am so honored that people think I am, and that I represent to the world all of the beautiful plethora multitudinous diversely cultures within it, because when I was growing up, there was no one who looked like me, and people called me names, and I wasn’t told I was beautiful, even though inside I knew that I had a light shining in me, and I was special, and one day everyone would see that light and see the real ‘Nicole,’ and all that was beauty and harmony and unicorns. And how mad-wicked is this bindi? It represents something beautiful and…uh…uh…beauty…and…please everyone go buy our single.”
Jessica Alba thinks she’s one of us. In the latest issue of Elle magazine, she says:
“…there aren’t many other stars, besides Halle Berry and Jennifer Lopez, who most people in the world can related to. We look like people of the world – I can kind of mix in with girls in Asia, South America, Europe.”
Okay. Let’s consider this for a second.
Like me, Jessica Alba played the violin:
Welcome to the tribe, Jessica Alba!
*Okay, this is not exactly true.
Meet 34 year-old Ilham Anas, an Indonesian magazine photographer who has risen from obscurity to fame in recent months for obvious reasons:
Which means we can now truly say that Obama is one of us! Yessssssssssss!
Filed under: Ilham Anas, Lookalikes, Obama Indonesian Doppelganger, Obama Lookalike, One of Us One of Us One of Us, President Barack Obama, Racial Draft, Racial Drag, Yes We Can Draft Obama for Our Team