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What Is It About WikiLeaks And Lady Parts?

December 16th, 2010 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen

Perhaps this shouldn’t come as a surprise, given that WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange was given an “87% slut” score on an OKCupid test four years ago. But seriously, it seems everywhere you turn these days, you hear another story about WikiLeaks–or Assange, really–and lady parts.

There’s the arrest of Assange in London for allegedly violating two women’s lady parts in Sweden (he was freed on bail today).

Then there’s the emails Gawker just published that Assange wrote in 2004 to a 19 year-old woman he made out with once, revealing not only Assange’s persistence when it comes to unearthing information but also his penchant for purple prose pressed breasts and other “soft, warm and yielding” lady things. The following is an excerpt from one missive Assange wrote after sniffing out the girl’s phone number and calling her, only to receive a cool response:

I’m not concerned with your messy reality. I don’t want to see it and I confess I could not place you in mine. But I still want to see you in isolation. I am unconcerned with the context since time and your silence has made me philosophical; but when I first wrote the heat of your breast pressed against me was still vivid in my mind.

And here’s another from an email written after she rejects him for what appears to be the final time:

A man feels that which is soft, warm and yeilding (sic) in his arms must also be in other circumstances.

Pretty stalkery stuff from a man who once claimed to have Asian teengirl stalkers of his Continue reading What Is It About WikiLeaks And Lady Parts?

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Uh-Oh, North Korea’s Being A Dick Again

May 27th, 2010 | 5 comments | Posted by Jen

First, the bad news: North Korea’s being a dick again.

After South Korea ran an anti-submarine exercise early Thursday–a response to the March torpedo attack committed by North Korea on the Cheonan, a South Korean naval vessel–North Korea got all pissy and issued a stern warning to its neighbors via the Korean Central News Agency (KCNA), North Korea’s state-run news agency.

Now, the good: North Korea’s warning to South Korea is HILARIOUS. The KCNA is a world leader in generating purple prose, and here’s what it had to say this time (via CNN):

“Now that the puppet group challenged the DPRK [North Korea] formally and blatantly, the DPRK will react to confrontation with confrontation, and to a war with an all-out war,” according the KCNA news agency.

The news agency referred to South Korean leaders as a “group of traitors” and said they would experience “unheard of disastrous consequences” if they misunderstand North Korea’s will.

This statement comes a day after this one, which was also issued to South Korea (edited for some semblance of brevity):

As already reported, the south Korean puppet military gangsters have carved slogans for anti-DPRK psychological warfare on walls of MP posts in the Demilitarized Zone along the Military Demarcation Line and are busy resuming the loudspeaker propaganda as part of the said warfare.

The head of the north side delegation to the north-south general-level military talks Wednesday sent the following notice to the south side as regards the reckless moves of the bellicose forces of the puppet military to resume the psychological warfare against the DPRK:

…Such act is nothing but a deliberate and premeditated provocation aimed to push Continue reading Uh-Oh, North Korea’s Being A Dick Again

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