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Name: Li Na
Hails from: Wuhan, Hubei, China
Occupation: Pro Tennis Player
Known for: Coached by her husband, inspired by her late father, and supported by a mother too nervous to watch her matches, Li is a tennis player whose game is focused on family. And the blood, sweat and tears have paid off–Li is currently 10-for-10 in her matches this year.
Entering the Australian Open as 9th seed, Li has made an impressive show so far–besting Sofia Arvidsson (Sweden), Evgeniya Rodina (Russia), Barbora Zahlavova Strycova (Czech Rep.), Victoria Azarenka (Belarus) and Andrea Petkovic (Germany). She will now face top-seeded Caroline Wozniaki (Denmark) in her second-ever Australian Open semi-finals, keeping hopes high that she will bring home the first-ever Grand Slam singles tennis title to Asia.
That should make her family proud.
That’s not actually asking much. Last night, during the NFC Championship shootout/battle royale/best game of the season, it was hard to look at anything else. When Fujita wasn’t putting pressure on Brett Favre, he and Anthony Hargrove were tackling him hard.
Filed under: Amazians, Brett Favre, College Sweethearts, Defense, Defensive Linemen, Focus On America, Football, Gay Rights, Go Saints, Honorasians, Hotties, Linebackers, National Equality March, New Orleans, New Orleans Saints, NFL, NOLA, Professional Athletes, Rad Japanese Dudes, Reprzentasian, Saints, Same-Sex Marriage, Scott Fujita, Sports, Super Bowl Ads, Super Bowl Miami, Super Bowl XLIV, Who Dat?
Did too many of Tiger’s low-rent mistresses rise up to tell their tales? Did enough of his sponsors threaten to drop him? We’ll never know. But one of the world’s greatest atheletes has decided to step away from professional golf to focus, finally, on the shit circus that is his life:
I am deeply aware of the disappointment and hurt that my infidelity has caused to so many people, most of all my wife and children. I want to say again to everyone that I am profoundly sorry and that I ask forgiveness. It may not be possible to repair the damage I’ve done, but I want to do my best to try.
I would like to ask everyone, including my fans, the good people at my foundation, business partners, the PGA Tour, and my fellow competitors, for their understanding. What’s most important now is that my family has the time, privacy, and safe haven we will need for personal healing.
After much soul searching, I have decided to take an indefinite break from professional golf. I need to focus my attention on being a better husband, father, and person.
Again, I ask for privacy for my family and I am especially grateful for all those who have offered compassion and concern during this difficult period.
Filed under: Affairs, Apologies, Dayum, Detroying Your Family, Disrespecting Your Wife, Fucking Around, Fuckups, Golf, Hiatus, Homewrecks, Indefinite Hiatus, Infidelity, Life As A Circus, Low-rentitude, Mistresses, Never the Same, Professional Athletes, Sadness, Tiger Woods, Whoopsieeee
Listen, I don’t want to knock Emily Ho, profiled this week by LA Weekly’s Jonathan Gold, whose meteoric rise from Lakers fan girlfriend to Sasha “The Machine” Vujacic enthusiast to webmaster of the Official Site of the shooting guard is nothing to sniff at.
There’s a part of me that wants to hate– the reallyreallybitchy part of me that first and foremost despises the fucking Lakers (Uh, no, I do not care how good they are). And carries a deep, personal aversion to Lakers fan girlfriends, like my college roommate (who knew dog piddle about hoops when I met her, but to impress her grad school beau, began sporting yellow-and-purple tanks, yelling at the TV for players on the wrong team, and doubting my knowledge of key player trades–something she had, in just one season, not yet witnessed).
This icky thing inside of me also starts snippy, snarling fights with ladies in pumps and half-tops that pretend to watch ball at sports bars without ever turning towards the screen. And it deeply protests the manufacture of team jerseys in pink for female fans, since they don’t contribute to a team’s color domination of a stadium–and overall are cheesy, embarrassing, and offensive. This aspect of me will try to remain silent on the topic of Emily Ho.
A nicer (albeit smaller) part of me celebrates Ho’s opportunity, as well as her commitment to a competitive sport. And thinks it’s just great that her Vujacic official site, which seems primarily trafficked by enthusiastic females (and is loved and supported by the player and his family), isn’t just a virtual beer garden loaded up with stats, action shots, and sports trivia. Instead it’s a fun, girly, window-into-the-celebrity-soul kinda space, featuring interviews with fans and sexy desktop designs; where the athlete Twitters and answers novice questions like, “What’s the best thing about being on the Lakers?” In a way, it lowers the bar of entry in terms of committed fandom of Mr. Vujacic, if not the team and the sport as well: Why focus on a player’s numbers when you might just like his headwear? Why can’t sports enthusiasm be emotional? Why can’t it be about attraction? Why can’t it be about swarthy skin and flowing hair?
Okay, I’ll say it: As if the bar wasn’t low enough.
But last night, as I watched the Lakers do a number on the Utah Jazz (save for that nail-biter of a 4th quarter) to advance in the playoffs, yet another (but still very grouchy) part of me rumbled a little. It must have been Vujacic in his stupid black headband, celebrating his big, dumb team’s victory in the series, or something. But I couldn’t help but think about how his official site would soon be buzzing with rabid girl fans hurriedly typing out their post-playoff-game burners: “Is there a locker room afterparty?” or “Does Gatorade in your clothes get sticky?” or “How often do you wash your hair?” By God, it made me crazy to think that his Twitter followers would soon be lauding him for how cute he looked at the line, instead of the intensity of his game.
And I just couldn’t hold it back anymore. So here I go:
I HATE SASHA VUJACIC’S OFFICIAL SITE. IT’S REALLY FUCKING LAME AND SHAMELESS, EVEN FOR A LAKER.
(Fine, I’m a player hater.)
Filed under: Basketball, Bloggers, Emily Ho, Haterasian, LA Lakers, Men Should Never Wear Headbands And For that Matter Neither Should Women, NBA, Pink Jerseys, Professional Athletes, Sasha Vujacic, The Machine
Name: Manny “Pacman” Pacquiao aka The Mexicutioner aka People’s Champ aka Pambansang Kamao (“National Fist”)
Occupation: Professional Boxer
Known for: Being the first Asian (and Pinoy) boxer to win four world titles in different weight divisions, and–as of June of this year–the Ring Magazine pound-for-pound top-ranked boxer in the world. Pacquiao defeated Golden Boy Oscar De La Hoya in “the Dream Match” with an eighth-round TKO this weekend, outstepping De La Hoya’s five-inch reach advantage to beat the icon. The victory, however, did not go without a humble response. From AP:
De La Hoya’s left eye was closed shut as he sat on his stool after the eighth round and the ring doctor, referee and his cornermen discussed his condition. De La Hoya offered no complaints when his corner decided he had enough, getting up from his stool and walking to the center of the ring to congratulate the victor.
“You’re still my idol,” Pacquiao told him.
“No, you’re my idol,” De La Hoya said.
Aww. For the time being, we’re going to go with De La Hoya–Pacquiao is our new idol, and we’re super psyched that there’s someone finally restoring the luster back to the name “Pacman”–unlike, say, Jen’s ne’er-do-well, now-silent, alchie Cowboy Adam “Pacman” Jones.
Filed under: Big Wins, Boxers, Everybody Loves a Winner, Filipinos, Fists of Fury, Idols, Manny Pacquiao, Nicknames, Number Ones, Oscar De La Hoya, Pacman Jones, Pacmen, Professional Athletes, Ripped Bodies
Michelle Wie turns 20 this weekend, which means she’ll be one year too old to be considered a provocative “teen athlete” with “lots of potential,” and one step further away from being a young prodigy. Not to be a buzzkill or anything–that’s just what our moms said to us when WE turned twenty. It sucked!
Hails from: South Korea (via North Korea)
Occupation: Professional Boxer
Known for: Being South Korea’s “Million Dollar Baby.” At the age of seventeen, she’s already the victor of five amateur national championship titles. But she turned pro last September, and on October 11, won the World Boxing Association women’s featherweight championship, ultimately duking it out with China’s top contender for the big prize.
She fights “for her parents,” supporting them after they made the risky move from North to South Korea so she could train and fight–and of course they’re proud. But we like her because she’s got a crazy cute baby face (she looks exactly like Diana’s sister, Anh, circa 1979), but a fierce and fiery punch. That’s our kinda combo. Punch it out, lady!