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*Err… Intern Jasmine just reminded us that ‘Eastwick’ was cancelled last month. Um… let’s hope you get one of those fun new leopard-print Snuggies, instead!
Some dude on “China’s eBay,” Taobao.com, was apparently banned from selling his product: a tonic composed of saliva taken from pretty girls, after complaints from Taobao users caught the attention of the site’s higher-ups.
Listen, we don’t have any issues with pretty girls (um, my caveat list for the preceding statement is too long to include here), but c’mon, creepos, spit is fucking disgweesting. We don’t want a drop of it landing on our nose when somebody’s talking to us, a big wad of it on the ground when we walk through the park, or a gloopy mess of it in our entree because our dinner mate insulted our waitress. Fuck spit. Fuck it.
But that isn’t what bothers us so much. The thought of somebody ordering a bottle of that bodily ick, paying the shipping and handling, sending over the PayPal amount, anxiously waiting days by the mailbox for the package to arrive, and then opening that package OF SPIT… that makes us sad.
Like, really, really, really, really sad.
Thank bejeezus nobody bought one.
Happy birthday to Marié Digby, who turns 26 today! Marié has had a busy, busy year–last April, she released her debut album Unfold, this March, she put out a Japanese covers record, Second Home, and in June, she’ll unveil her sophomore effort, Breathing Underwater, (despite it being unveiled, i.e. leaked, for her last week on the internet).
Not too shabby, especially for a girl who made her name on YouTube covering Rihanna’s “Umbrella.” Here’s hoping Marié’s 26th year is just as fruitful and productive. (Did we just write “fruitful and productive”? Good lord, we’re turning into our Hardass Asian Mothers.)
Yes, the strong shoulder is back. For sure, the feathery tutu thing is in. And boy, do I love a nice pair of Burberry T-straps.
But all I want to do when I look at this picture is hurriedly offer the adorable Zhang Ziyi my bikini waxer’s number. Are you reading this, Ziyi? My girl Sally is uh-mazing. She does a pretty amazing Brazilian and totally does house calls.
Just let me know, girl. You’ve got my email. Use it.
Hails from: Palo Alto, CA
Why She’s A Babe: Sure, she’s amazian–an incoming freshman at UC Berkeley and, at the age of 18, currently the youngest elected delegate at the DNC (even though “politics doesn’t run in [her] family”)–but she’s also a stunning sweetface. With that pretty skin and cherubic smile, she’s almost too pretty for politics!
…But hey, in such an ugly business, it’s nice to see a little beauty every once in awhile.
LEIGHTON: I know, right? I’m having so much trouble just eating these four pieces of sushi. I always treat myself once every two weeks to rice carbs.
BLAKE: Totally. Great job eating with those chopsticks, by the way! You look like a real pro.
LEIGHTON: Well, I’ve totally been to Tokyo before, once.
LEIGHTON: Yeah. Anyway, eating wasabi totally reminds me of that girl that used to always be around last season. She was hot. Wasn’t she Japanese or something?
BLAKE: Nan? I think she’s Chinese. She’s not on the show anymore.
LEIGHTON: Where did she go, anyway? And wasn’t there another girl here, too? A really tan girl?
BLAKE: Um, are you talking about Nicole? She’s black, Leighton.
LEIGHTON: Blake! You can’t call them that. You call them Afro-American, I think. Anyway, where did those girls go?
BLAKE: Um, CW had to fire them so Vanity Fair and New York Magazine would put us on the cover. I was in Josh Schwartz’s office when the network called. They kept making some joke about “models” and “minorities” and how magazines only get read by honkeys or something.
LEIGHTON: What’s a honkey?
BLAKE: Not sure.
BLAKE: I didn’t really think about it, and then we came back for this season, and there was that new Asian chick around, and for a minute I wondered where Nan and Nicole went, and then I kinda just forgot about the whole thing because I’ve got new boyfriend issues and stuff.
LEIGHTON: Penn’s hot.
BLAKE: Yeah, he’s amazing.
LEIGHTON: That’s so weird! We should totally call up those girls and see if they wanna grab Coffee Bean sometime or something.
BLAKE: Yeah, I’m sure they’re not busy or anything! (Laughs)
BLAKE: What kind of sushi is that, anyway?
LEIGHTON: California rolls.