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The Chinese Are Coming! The Chinese Are Coming! (Only It’s Not How You Think)

October 28th, 2009 | 7 comments | Posted by Jen

Holy shit, the Chinese are coming. But it’s not how you think. They’re not coming to take over a depressed, podunk American town and fight an insurgency of armed high school jocks. They’re not coming to buy up all of our real estate, convert the dollar to renminbi, or force us all to speak Mandarin (I mean, hello? This is America, where most people only speak American, so good luck with that). They are coming to America in record numbers as tourists, but that’s only a temporary phenomenon and, quite frankly, we could use the dough.

Eric Schmidt Google CEO

According to Google CEO, Eric Schmidt, the Chinese are coming…to take over the Internet. In a talk given at last week’s Gartner Symposium, Schmidt predicted that the internet in 5 years would be dominated by Chinese-language content.

For those who are “extremely terrified of Chinese people” and can only speak American, take heart. The scarier news that Schmidt delivered?

Today’s teenagers are the model for how the web will work in five years. You know, the same teenagers who we always hear are getting dumber. Schmidt’s exact words:

Talk to a teenager about the way they consume information, and remember that five or ten years from now, that’s your employee. It’s a little frightening, by the way.

A little frightening?!

Building my bunker now…

[ReadWriteWeb: Google's Eric Schmidt on What the Web Will Look Like in 5 Years]

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Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Bloggers

August 12th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

CNN reports that a few dozen families in China, at the Chongqing Children’s Palace, are utilizing DNA technology that can assess a child’s genetic gifts and potentially identify their future callings.

For instance, if a young thing is destined to be super tall and physically coordinated, they’re best suited for b-ball camp. If they’ll have an ear for music and fast fingers, off to the piano conservatory. Is the child thoughtful and focused? Then they should, as the report says, go into management.

This photo (No DNA research completed) of young Diana
predicts two futures: stoner or record store clerk

Thank GOD they didn’t have this technology when I was a tyke. If my parents had gotten prediction results like: “scatterbrained but of delightful temperament… will major in English and love to read nonfiction… very likely to be a ‘blogger’… will excel at Guitar Hero and drinking…” they probably would have grabbed their receipt and returned me promptly to the Kmart blue light special where they say they bought me.

[CNN: In China, DNA Tests on Kids ID Genetic Gifts, Careers]

Thanks, Avi!

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