You are currently browsing posts tagged with Prayer Hands

Caption This: Hillary Clinton’s Crazy-Faced Namaste

November 25th, 2009 | 4 comments | Posted by Jen

HRC busting with the anjali mudra before the arrival of Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh at the White House, November 24, 2009:

US India Obama Singh

USA-INDIA/

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Memphis Mayor Fist-Bumps The Dalai Lama And Prevents Not One But Two Epidemics

September 24th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Memphis Mayor Pro Tem Myron Lowery fist-bumped the Dalai Lama Wednesday, when His Holiness was in town to accept an award at the National Civil Rights Museum. According to Lowery, the greeting was pre-approved, and though it was reported that the Dalai Lama had no problem with it, not everyone appreciated the gesture.

So much so that Lowery felt compelled to explain why he gave a pound to the Dalai Lama, over at CNN. Ever since a co-worker came down with the H1N1 virus a few weeks ago, Lowery wrote, hand sanitizer, sleeve-sneezing, and fist-bumping have been his thing.

Unwittingly, by preventing the spread of one epidemic, Lowery also dodged another:

The Prayer Hands Epidemic and a few of its sufferers: Johnny Depp, Wesley Snipes, and Jennifer Garner

And for that, Mayor Lowery, I salute you.

*punches it in*

[CNN: Why I fist-bumped the Dalai Lama]
[DISGRASIAN: What a (Racial) Drag: Buddhist Prayer Hands]
[How to Greet the Dalai Lama]

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We Got to Praysian Just to Make It Todaysian

January 9th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


Dear Fuck God,

First of all, let me thank you for all of my wonderful gifts. Thank you for my luscious weave, my bodacious fake tits, and my wonderful husband. Thank you for convincing my mother to give me the space that I need, mostly ‘cuz I feel she is a stupid and dumb, fat bitch anyway.

Next, I would like to say sorry for a couple of things. I am sorry that I voted for John McCain. I am sorry that I brought shame to the House of Chanel. I am sorry that I tried to bring shorts back into style.

Finally, I would like to ask for forgiveness. I would like to apologize for all of Spence’s and my staged photo-shoots, particularly the most recent one in which Spencer and I pretended to get martial arts training. Listen, I know they’re really annoying. I know we look ridiculous, but here’s the thing–I feel like we’ve basically signed our souls away to the Fuck Devil. Fuck God, at this point, unless I want to just bow out of life completely, I’ve got no choice but to keep up this douchery. So I’m sorry, so sorry, and wish that instead of pretending to fight in these last photos, Spence and I were actually, truly beating the shit out of each other, perhaps to the death, so that we could put each other out of our misery and make the world a happier, better place.

Anyway, gotta go. We’ve got a rezzie at the Ivy for “lunch.”

Smoochles,
Heidi

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Oh No Choodi’int!

October 17th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Part of the reason I haven’t been able to bring myself to watch MTV’s latest idiotic reality show, Paris Hilton’s My New BFF–in which wannabe starfuckers vy for the slot as Paris’s main hanger-on–is that I can’t bear the thought of anybody, however tarderriffic they may be anyway, groveling at the feet of Paris Hilton.

Worse, I hate the thought of an Asian (especially a gaysian!) on his knees in front of that walking syphilis host!

Paris’s BFF Hopeful ONCH, rocking prayer hands the way they were never meant to be rocked

Ugh. Can somebody please explain to this fool that the golden people kneel for nobody? NOBODY.

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The Spanish Basketball Team on Oriental Expressionism

August 13th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen
Jose Calderon: Oriental Expressionist


In response to media outrage over the Spanish national basketball team making a slit-eyed gesture in a recent newspaper advertisement, the team’s point guard, Jose Calderon, who plays for the Toronto Raptors professionally, issued a statement via his personal website Tuesday.


No way, Jose! Dude, you are clearly unschooled in the way of our people and in desperate need of an educasian. First of all, everyone knows that if you want to make an Oriental Expression (“OE”), you do it with your hands, yo, and not your eyes.

The Peace Sign should always be your first option:


But in a classier, more formal Oriental setting, you could opt for the Buddhist prayer gesture, or Prayer Hands, as we like to call them.


Prayer Hands project a certain gravitas and are always considered “appropriate” and “somewhat loving” by the Orientals.

But, sheeit, why stop at “somewhat loving”? You’re in the Land of Love You Long Time, after all. If you really want to demonstrate your affection for our people, why not, in the words of Chris Berman, GO. ALL. THE. WAY??!

Which brings us to the Middle Finger, aka The Finger, Flipping the Bird, The Bird. Because nothing communicates “huge respect” as appropriately as this expression does. Take it from us–two bona fide Orientals–the Middle Finger may not be exclusive to our culture, but it’s nevertheless prized among rice eaters. Not only because it’s succinct and to the point, but because it leaves no room for interpretasian. And interpretasian is really the culprit in this case, and not, say, willful ignorance and cultural ineptitude, right?

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Don’t Say A Prayer For Me Now

January 28th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Looks like Hillary is invoking the power of prayer hands to–at long last–reach out to Asian voters. Thank goodness. It’s about time! As a deeply motivated, registered voter, I, for one, am thrilled to finally be included in the ongoing conversation about race and politics!

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ON THE BOBA RZULTS: The Darjeeling Limited

September 13th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen
The Darjeeling Prayer Hands Unlimited


Was it life imitating art that made DISGRASIAN readers want to throw a tea party?

You guys either really love Wes Anderson’s work or you find the sight of Owen Wilson hurtin’ in bandages irresistible.

But remember, Owen Wilson-as-Wounded-Bird fans…the boy wants to “heal in private.”

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Are You There God? It’s Me, Britney

September 10th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Britney busted with the Prayer Hands at last night’s VMAs during her dead-in-the-eyes, tragically lip-synced performance, “Gimme More.” But after watching her drift and gesture around the stage like a mentally-ill homeless woman shuffling along on the street…

…I realized that she was actually praying. And I’m pretty sure this is what she said:

“Oh Lawd. Please give me back the life I once knew. Replace this doughy beer gut with ma old six-pack. Make me look less like an awkward linebacker. My ass is so flat right now, it looks like the state of Kansas. Give me back ma charisma and ma innocence. I beseech you, even tho I have no clue what that word means. Please make the voices in ma head go away, too. Help me, Lawd. Please.”

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What a (Racial) Drag: Buddhist Prayer Hands

August 23rd, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Here are DISGRASIAN’s rules regarding making Buddhist prayer hands in public. They’re very simple and, in our view, quite generous.

1) If you’re from a culture that actually uses them in greeting, pray away.

Thai tennis sensation Paradorn Srichaphan


2) If you are a martial artist–even the world’s most revoltacious–pray like you’re under siege.

From IMDB: “Steven Seagal is a striking and somewhat boyishly handsome looking (often with ponytail) and usually impeccably dressed action star”–SAYS WHO?!?

3) If your nickname is His Holiness, well, nuff said.


4) If you’re His Holiness’s biggest brown-noser, uh, we mean, follower, we begrudgingly accept your Buddhist prayer hands like we would a gerbil up the ass.

Gerbils and Buddhism Go Together Like Dalai Lama Lama Ka Dinga Da Dinga Dong

5) But if you’re a French actress walking the red carpet in Tokyo, bustin’ with the prayer hands cuz you’re in Asia and you’re trying to convey how spirituel you are…

Marion Cotillard at the Tokyo premiere of La Vie en Rose

…we’ll feel compelled to tell you that a) the Japanese don’t bow that way, and b) we’re praying for you and a speedy recovery from this affliction.

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