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Kim Jong-Be-Illin’ Junior

November 27th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen
Dear Leader Junior


Kim Jong Il has tapped his number two son Kim Jong Chul to be the new vice chief of the ruling Korean Workers’ Party’s Organization and Guidance Department. Guess number one son is a royal fuckup. With the promotion, Junior will be working in the same office as his Pops and is now viewed as a possible successor one day to North Korea’s Dear Leader.

Which brings up a few questions:

1. Will Junior disarm North Korea?
2. Will Junior reunite the North and South?
3. Will Junior solve his country’s famine issues?

And, most importantly:

4. Will Junior be able to…rock his Pops’ infamous porn producer steez like no otha?


Hmm. Feel like something’s missing, although Junior’s bowl cut does scream “perv” to me.

Wait…I’ve got an idea…


Consider my last question answered.

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Thank you Aaron!

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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Kim Jong-Be-Illin’

July 13th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen
“Wazzuuuuuuuuuuup?!”

I think we all knew in our hearts and minds that it was only a matter of time before Kim Jong-Be-Illin’ would be named DOTW. But which offense, exactly, would we nail him for?

All of his posturing over nuclear testing and disarmament?

Or how about when he halted reunions between divided families in North and South Korea, because South Korea imposed food sanctions on NK under international pressure?

Or maybe just because the dude’s steez reminds us of a sad-sack, out-of-work, hardcore porn producer grinding out low-budge movies in his garage with its blacked-out windows in never-beautiful Van Nuys, California?

YUCK

All of the aforementioned offenses are criminal, but it was this straw that broke the disgrasianamel’s back: “Nation bans karaoke bars, Internet cafes?”

SEOUL (Reuters) – North Korea’s security agency has ordered the shutdown of karaoke bars and Internet cafes, saying they are a threat to society, a South Korean newspaper reported Wednesday.

Exqueeze me?!? There are two major muthafuckin problems with this.

1) No one in North Korea can read DISGRASIAN.

2) After everything that Illin’ and Illin’ Sr. have put North Koreans through–war, famine, deprivasian, separasian, and global isolasianism–they’re not allowed to blow off steam comme ça?

DEAR LEADER?

MY ASS.

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bitchin’ karaoke photo by Michael Rababy

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