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iDon’t Get It

February 19th, 2010 | 4 comments | Posted by Diana

My sister recently gave birth to my first nephew. Throughout nearly 20 hours of labor, she stayed in contact with everyone who cared about the delivery via countless texts and Facebook status updates, from her iPhone. Observe:


So in a weird way, I can almost understand that however strange and surreal, sometimes technology and sacred moments can wonderfully merge.

Sometimes.

But a wedding at the Apple store–in which the vows are read rapidly off of an iPhone screen, guests stand mere feet away from the Genius Bar, the groom pats the bride on the ass before saying “I do,” PEOPLE ALL AROUND THE COUPLE ARE BUYING SHIT, and the whole thing ends up in a video on YouTube?

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Chinese Internet Filter Censors "Gay Content," "Illegal Activities," and Garfield the Cat (UPDATE)

June 30th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Garfield is obscene. So are pictures of cooked pork and close-ups of Johnny Depp’s face, according to Green Dam software, an Internet filter that will be preinstalled on every personal computer sold in China beginning July 1. (Oh, and Paris Hilton, too, but we already knew that.)


Such is the sophisticasian of China’s latest technology designed to further the government’s authoritarian reach prevent moral decay among its citizens. In addition to blocking what it perceives as obscene, Green Dam also allows its users to filter out “gay content” and “illegal activities,” which is to say, all of the fun stuff.

Geez, why not take down the entire world wide web while you’re at it, Communist Party poopers.

[UPDATE: China is postponing the installation of Green Dam software in new computers. Guess they're reconsidering the Garfield issue.]

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Thanks, Neal!

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When Worlds Collide: Robot Wedding

June 18th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen
From the AFP: “Robot hosts South Korean wedding”

Robot: Ahem. Can I get everyone’s attention, please? I would like to propose a toast to the beautiful bride and the groom, my creator and friend, Seok Gyeong-Jae.

Groom: Thank you. Everyone, give it up for Tiro the Robot. We’re making history today, as this is the first time a robot has ever hosted a wedding.

(Wedding guests clap.)

Robot: Aw shucks, man. It’s a real honor. I just wanted to tell everybody that the first time I met the bride, I knew that these two were a match made in heaven.

Bride: That is so sweet.

Robot: Seok and I were out at a bar–cuz the dude is and always will be my wingman, right, Seok? Punch it in, brah!

(Robot and Groom fist-knock. Bride raises an eyebrow.)

Anywho, we were at this bar, and this smokin’ hot babe walks in with her girlfriends, and I was, like, Seok, did you see the pair of ti–

Groom: Er, I think it’s time to cut the cake!

Robot: And he was, like, duuuuuude, I wouldn’t mind tapping that a–

Bride: (yelling) Who wants CHAMPAGNE?

Robot: Which didn’t prove so difficult in the end, as our blushing bride here turned out to be a big-time sl–

Bride: Will someone fucking get me a bucket of water or something to throw on this thing?

Robot: Thing? How incredibly offensive. I’m not a thing. I am capable of at least 436 emotions–

Bride: (to Groom) Brilliant idea, by the way. Really genius.

Robot: Seok, buddy. Don’t say I never warned you that she was a C-U-Next-Tues–

(Groom reaches over and pulls the plug on Tiro the Robot.)

Groom: That concludes our toasts for the evening! (to Wedding Photographer) Please take the picture while I am still living and breathing.

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