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SERIOUSLY, TAYLOR LAUTNER???
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO TO ME???
[GQ: The Big Bet]
[Just Jared: Taylor Lautner - Shirtless Scenes Explained!]
Filed under: Come ON--He's 18, Cougaring Out, Cougars, DamnWOW, Jacob Black, Killer Abs, Playboy, Shameless Shirtlessness, Shamelessly Sloberring Over Teenagers, Taylor Lautner, Torsos From God, Twilight
There are probably lots of fun things to say about Pete Rose’s Playboy-bound lady friend, who has–without so much as divulging her name–managed to garner press simply by being a boobtastic, young, Asian lady on Ol’ Rose’s arm.
Hell, the Hit King has already done most of the work for us. Here’s what he said during a radio interview on Houston’s KGOW (via Sports Radio Interviews):
“You know, my girl’s a real educated girl – she graduated from Arizona State. She had a very prestigious job several years ago when she was a flight attendant for Korean Airlines, which is really a big deal in Korea, and she’s Korean. And let’s just hope that the Playboy people like her, and if they don’t, that’s okay too. We’ll just turn the page and thank them for the opportunity.”
[Insert thousands of jokes here]
But to be perfectly honest with you… really, really, really all I can think about are those crazy awesome torpedos busting out of her shirt in the above picture. They keep tossing my head back into the surf of an Internet ocean filled with nonsense. That sea includes PuffyLover.com, a site that celebrates–um– “puffies,” as in–er– “puffy nipples.”
Filed under: Baseball, Bud Selig, Career Endeavors, Comedy Gold, Disgraced Baseball Players, Distraction, Embarrassing, Hot Koreans, Korean Airlines, MLB, Pete Rose, Playboy, Puffies, Puffy Lover, Puffy Nipples, Pursuits of Happiness, The Internet Is A Strange Place, Torpedo Tits, What the what?
Playboy has published a list of America’s Sexiest CEO’s, and in a top 10 that includes several CEO’s in more traditionally Playboy-friendly industries such as lingerie and adult films, one of its most intriguing picks is Slideshare head Rashmi Sinha. (Slideshare is the world’s largest presentation sharing website and has been hailed as the “YouTube of Powerpoint presentations.”)
I really like that Rashmi made the list and still looks like the girl next door (the pretty AND smart one, that is). Yet there’s nothing run-of-the-mill about her. She holds a Ph.D. in cognitive neuropsychology from Brown, she’s running an online media company that is blowing away its competitors and consistently scoring high marks among users and tech reviewers–prompting CNN to deem slide presentations “fun” (huh?!)–she blogs, and she plays Guitar Hero (girl, let’s jam)! If these are the merits that Playboy now finds sexy in a woman, I’m going to have to start subscribing.
“For the articles,” of course.
Hails from: Los Angeles
Occupation: November 2008 Playmate of the Month
Why She’s a Babe: Yeah, yeah, Grace Kim has a nice rack. And no, we don’t know if those puppies are real, but we seriously doubt that you care (you’re going to have to get the November issue of Playboy to judge for yourself). But what we really like about Grace is that she’s a dork. She worked for Red Octane, the game publisher of our raison d’être, Guitar Hero, before she became a pin-up, and she is not only a GH competitor, but she likes to throw down about her skillz.*
“I play a mean game of Guitar Hero, and I’m willing to challenge anybody,” she says in the November Playboy. “I must warn you, I’m a sore loser!”
Dude. So are we, because, as we all know, Asians hate to lose. So that’s why we’re challenging you, Grace Kim of the gorgeous breasteses, to a Guitar Hero duel. Know that we play to the death (or, like, until one of us passes out from drinking too much brown liquor, same diff). Are you in? (Please please say you’re in. Our A-cups and carb-guts will never be able to compete with your C-cups and your 21-inch (!) waist, and this is the only way we think we’ll ever have a chance of getting a fat leg up on you, okay?!)
*We did not actually read this in Playboy, even though, like you, we read the rag for the articles. It was reprinted online in COED Magazine, which, in August, also put Grace on a list of–ready for this?–“Amasians.” Style-biters!!! At least when you’re ripping us off, learn how to spell it, assholes. And, uh, thanks. We’re flattered.
Thanks, Henri and Jasmine!
Upon close examination of your post (see today’s post: “Disgrasianare”) I noticed that William Hung, DISGRASIAN 001 and The-Man-Willing-to-Get-An-Entire-Population-of-Almond-Eyed-Kids-Beat-Up-
In-School-For-A-Quick-Buck-and-A-Few-Photo-Ops-With-Condescending/Scantily Clad-Women, has been raking in most of his dough lately making mall appearances.
As People.com so aptly stated:
“These Days, he warbles for fans at mall appearances. ‘They ask for pictures and autographs,’ says Hung. ‘It happens a lot.’”
I can think of another pop sensation that made her moolah butchering other people’s lyrics (remember: “I Think We’re Alone Now”) in front of the glossy-eyed audiences of American malls.
And look what it bought her:
I say, if Marshmallow Face is going to sell us all out, he sure as hell use the money to buy himself a new body.
I can’t bear to look at this: