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The Racist Michelle Obama Photo And Why You’re Better Off Hangin’ With Internet Pervs
Google’s taken out ads on its own site to explain why, when you do a Google Images search of “Michelle Obama,” one of the first pictures you pull up is a disgustingly racist one depicting FLOTUS as a monkey.
Here’s a screengrab of both the photo and Google’s “Offensive Search Results” ad-response:
Click on the ad, and you get this explanation for the image:
Filed under: Barack Obama, FLOTUS, Google, Google Images, Google Offensive Search Results, Michelle Obama, Michelle Obama Racist Google Images Search Results, Offensive Content, Pervs, Porn, Racist Images, SafeSearch
DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! The Puff! iPhone App
HuffPo and Buzzfeed have posted a video demonstrating the remarkable usability of Japanese developer BottleCube’s latest iPhone app creation: Puff!
Puff! features scenes of cute Japanese girls in plausible situations (For instance, flipping over a jungle gym bar in a sexy little cheerleading outfit, or eyeing you seductively in a dark lounge while concealing summer panties and garter belt that she secretly wants you to see), whose skirts can be “blown” up high to reveal their underthings with just a tap/rub up the screen or blow on the iPhone mic. The harder you rub and blow, the higher her skirt flies, and the more delighted (via squeals) she seems.
But not everyone can get Puff! on the iPhone. In fact, the iTunes App store says you must be at least 17 years old to download:
But we think it could be a little simpler than that. To download this app, you kinda just have to fuckin’ BLOW. Like, really, really hard.
[HuffPo: Puff iPhone App Simulates Looking Up Girls' Skits (VIDEO)]
[BuzzFeed: Puff! An iPhone App For Perverts]
Filed under: Blow, Guys That Don't Get Laid, Ick, iPhone, iPhone Applications, iPhone Apps, Pervs, Upskirt, Weird Japanese Behavior
When Morons Who Have No Business Being in Leadership Positions Collide
Governor Palin stages a totally meaningless photo-op/converses with an intellectual equal, finally/takes the first baby step toward being able to find Pakistan on a map meets with Pakistan Prez Asif Ali Zardari on Wednesday
ZARDARI: You are more gorgeous* than everyone has been saying. Not at all like a porn star.
PALIN: Thank you so much! Now, um, may I ask you, are you also a mother? I have five children. One of them is special-needs. Well, um, okay, two.
ZARDARI: Now I know why the hole of America is crazy about you.*
PALIN: In what respect,* President, um, (looks furtively at notes written in ballpoint ink on her right palm) Zar-dar-ee? Is that how ya say it?
ZARDARI: Did I say “hole”? I meant, “whole.” Oh, homonyms!
PALIN: You know, I’m glad you mentioned that. Because it is my understanding* that homonyms can be converted back to, um, um…normal people.
ZARDARI: The photographer is now insisting that we shake hands for the photo. If he’s insisting, I might hump, er, hug.** You. (clears throat) Hug you. I might hug you.
PALIN: Where is Pakistan exactly? Can I see it from my house*?
ZARDARI: (sexy, come-on voice) Why do you ask? Is it the mustache? Hubba-hubba.
PALIN: Thank you, sir, for meeting me today. I feel like I have a much better understanding of Pakis after this.
ZARDARI: And I of Alaskanis!
*these lines were pulled from actual interviews
**the real line was: “If he’s insisting, I might hug”
Source
Thanks, Mohammad!
Filed under: Alaskanis, Asif Ali Zardari, Awkward Moments, Flirtasian, I Thought Pervez Resigned, Morons, Pervs, Photo Op Victims, Porn Stars, Sarah Palin, Weird Pakistani Behavior
Gymnast and Gay Go Together Like Ramma Lamma Lamma Ka Dinga Da Dinga Dong
A lot of you who are new to DISGRASIAN have been clicking over for Olympics “coverage” (I use that term oh-so-loosely), and mostly to find out who on the U.S. men’s gymnastics team is gay. Now, Diana and I pride ourselves on having excellent gaydar–we’re Asian chicks, after all, and most of our BFF’s are gay–but we ain’t the Gay Census Bureau. Nevertheless, we want you horny newbies to feel at home, so I give you this photo (from the real Gay Census Bureau, Towleroad):
Feel better?
Then there are those of you who have come to our site looking for nipples. And, you know, we do write about nipples a fair amount. Crotches, too. Shit, why do you think my parents spent all that dough sending me to an Ivy League school?? But for those of you who’ve come here to ogle, say, the nipples of a 16 year-old Olympic athlete, i.e. a child, we give you this:
FUCK OFF, PERV.
Filed under: Beefcakes, Beijing, Crotch, Crotch Shots, Gaydar, Gymnastics, Home Porn Horndogs, Kevin Tan, Nipples, Pedophiles, Pervs, Prurient Shit, Raj Bhavsar, The 2008 Olympics, The Gay Census Bureau
Magibutt
Remember Magibon, the YouTube sensasian who started a whole genre of whatthefuckery on the web by smiling and staring into a camera?
When we last wrote about her, we wondered why she was so tight-lipped. Our theory was that she had just thrown up in her mouth. We were close:
Magibon Does Japan
DENTAL DISGRASIAN ALERT!!! Except, of course, homegirl’s not really Asian.
But given the fact that Magibon is practically mute, obsessed with cute, and has made a career out of soliciting herself to internet pervs…she might as well be.
Yaysian?
Filed under: Dental Disgrasians, Fakery, Magibon, Pervs, Racial Drag, Viral Internet Trends, Wannabes, Whoa, WTF?, YouTards
The Most Fans of Sharapova’s Crotch Can Hope for Now Is Some Rockin’ Camel Toe
Maria Sharapova announced this week that, instead of wearing a tennis dress at Wimbledon, she would be debuting a Nike-designed “tuxedo” that consists of a jacket, pants, some weird dickey top that reminds me of something I used to wear in the high school marching band, and SHORTS.
Upon hearing the tragic sartorial news, fans of Maria Sharapova’s Crotch wept.
Filed under: Crotch Shots, Dickeys, Idiotic Tuxedo Tennis Outfits, Maria Sharapova, Maria Sharapova's Crotch, Misguided Sartorial Fantasies, Pervs, Tennis, Why Maria Why??, Wimbledon
SPORTS ILLUSTRASIAN: Notes from the Down Underground
Zhang Jie and Yan Zi, 2006 Australasian Open doubles champs
The quarterfinals at the Australasian Open were not kind to the Williams sisters this year. First Serena was knocked out of the singles competition by Serbian Jelena Jankovic in straight sets, then Serena and Venus lost in doubles to Chinese duo Yan Zi and Zheng Jie, and, finally, Venus, who’s never won this Slam, was defeated in her singles match by another Serb, Ana Ivanovic, also in straight sets. All three losses occurred in the span of 24 hours. Rough day!
Speaking of China, there’s talk of moving the Australian Open, which advertises itself as “The Grand Slam of Asia/Pacific,” to Asia. China, specifically.
Even though the tournament has been held in Melbourne since 1905, I have a feeling I know who’ll win this fight. Perhaps the Aussies should adopt a new mascot…(drumroll)…the Down Underdogs! Okay, that was terrible.
On the subject of top dogs, can anyone beat Roger “The Federator” Federer on this hardcourt?
I’m still not convinced the dude isn’t an evil robot.
And, finally, we’ve noticed a big bump in DISGRASIAN’s traffic since the start of the Australasian Open. Are readers clicking over here for our unique slant on pop culture, sports, and celebutardity? Or our look at the presidential race through yellow-tinted glasses? Or our bitchy knee-jerk reactions to everything from protests of Japanese whaling to human rights in China?
Sadly, no. Many of you have just come for THIS.
THIS. 
AND THIS.
So, once again, we’re putting out for you. Why? Cuz underneath our rough, pissed-off exteriors…
…we’re just gals who aim to please.
Happy tennis, pervs!
Filed under: China's Taking Over Everything, Crotch Shots Are So Over, Maria Sharapova, People Pleasers, Pervs, Robots, Roger Federer, Serena Williams, Tennis, The Australian Open, Venus Williams
We Don’t Wanna Touch You
Glam legend and pedophile (which title goes first??) Gary Glitter apparently collapsed this week from a heart attack, in the Vietnamese jail where he is serving three years for abusing two 11-year-old girls.
Sky News reports speculation that Glitter may be moved to a hospital in the UK, the country where he was imprisoned in ‘99 for possession of child pornography.
All we can say is, keep him out of the States! We’ve got enough problems here as it is.
On a side note, we’re wondering, is Glitter simply making a facial fashion statement with that goatee or paying homage? We’re stumped.
Filed under: Gary Glitter, Ho Chi Minh, Pervs, Several Tiers of Disgrace, Stay Out of the US, Vietnam
Magibarf
Everyone and by that we mean pervs is talking about “magibon,” the latest YouTube sensasian. The wide-eyed, Japanese Margaret Keane doll doesn’t say anything in her videos, leaving viewers to speculate about their subtext. Me personally? I think girlfriend looks like she just vomited in her mouth and is doing her damnedest to swallow it:
UPDATE: Ahh. Now we know the real reason behind that tight-lipped smile.
Filed under: Creepfest, Magibon, Margaret Keane, Mutasians, Pervs, Vomiting In Your Mouth, YouTube Is a Sordid Place
Heroezzzz Creator Tim Kring Apologizes for Anus Horribilis
“Tiny Tim” Kring and DISGRASIAN’s favorite castrato Masi Oka
Many of you have read by now that Heroezzzz creator Tim Kring spoke to Entertainment Weekly from the picket line on the first day of the Writers’ Strike Monday (which we support a quick, fair resolution to from the asstard studios, as it has put many friends out of work and made them emotionally needy, not to mention day-drinkers) to shamelessly promote his show that is soon to be in reruns, in which he apologized to Heroezzzzzzz fans for the show’s Royal Suckage this season. Below, please find a few excerpts from EW’s story, along with our translasians:
HIRO WAS IN JAPAN WAY TOO LONG Hiro’s (Masi Oka) time-bending adventure in 17th-century Japan — where he mentored samurai hero Takezo Kensei (David Anders) — finally came to an end on Nov. 5. But Kring says it ‘’should have [lasted] three episodes. We didn’t give the audience enough story to justify the time we allotted it.”
TRANSLASIAN: Jen and Diana were right. That whole White Samurai storyline was bullshit, not to mention totally ricist. I am so ashamed. I wish I had the nuts to commit seppuku.
YOUNG LOVE STINKS Kring regrets sticking Claire (Hayden Panettiere) with a super-dud boyfriend and forcing Hiro to moon over a cutesy princess. ”I’ve seen more convincing romances on TV,” he admits. ”In retrospect, I don’t think romance is a natural fit for us.”
TRANSLASIAN: Claire’s boyfriend was convincing as a high-schooler 8 years ago in Election, when he played the kid who ratted out Matthew Broderick. This season, he just seemed like a perv with a “power” who liked underage midget girls.
Icky Hump
And Masi Oka’s Hiro is a doughy mess. He and the princess had about as much chemistry as me before I pop a Cialis and a cheap hooker with genital warts. Please, Jen and Diana, stop hatin’ on me. It’s true, I was cockblocked by a cute Asian chick/dude at a bar once and I have a thing against your people. I am currently working that out in group therapy. Forgive me.
Filed under: Castratos, Forgiveness Doesn't Come Easy, Hayden Panettiere, Heroes, Masi Oka, Midgets, Pervs, Seppuku, Tim Kring Blows
Thank You, Maria Sharapova’s Crotch
Oh ma lord. Yesterday was an incredible day here at DISGRASIAN HQ. Jen and I were sitting (lounging) in the conference room (tree-filled patio) gulping down work fuel (booze) when we decided to peek at our visitor numbers. Trust me, they’re always high… not that we look… but we couldn’t believe our eyes! Our numbers had skyrocketed to 13 million* unique visits! WOW!
Which means, as we’ve always hoped and dreamed, that you love us. You really love us. Which is great, because we love you too!
Out of curiosity, we peeked at where y’all were comin’ from. ‘Cuz we care about you and your stories and how you find us.
There was the referral page. Looks like you all came for the same reason. We saw, for miles and miles down the page…
…and we get it. Last week’s post on Toyo Shigeta hording photos of the secrets lurking beneath Maria Sharapova’s tennis skirtzzZZZzzZZzzz is currently featured on Buzzfeed, and apparently, that’s what brought most of you here.
Did you all just want to see the magical crotch? We’ve got it.
You want to see it? You want to see it? Here it is, the photo in question that apparently has the courtroom buzzy and our site even buzzier:
Yawn. I’ve seen more exciting between-the-legs action at an 8-year old’s soccer game. But that’s what you came for.
I will admit, it all kind of made us wonder, who is more DISGRASIAN… Shigeta, or YOU? But when we really thought about it, Shigeta doesn’t visit our site, so he’s the loser. You’re here, so you rule!
And you know what, we kind of like you. We invite all of you freaky deaks to stay and poke around awhile. There’s plenty of other upskirt action here!
UPDATE: Click here to see why there won’t be any Sharapova crotch shots at the 2008 Wimbledon.
Filed under: Between the Legs, Buzzfeed, Maria Sharapova, Pervs, Toyo Shigeta, Upskirt, Weird Behavior, Welcome to the Fold, Y'all Are Weird
Prolly More Than She Wanted to Sharapova
Toyo Shigeta, the head of the Japanese ad agency responsible for Maria Sharapova’s sizzling Canon Powershot ad in 2005, is now the target of a federal lawsuit–he apparently snapped upskirt photos of the tennis vixen to satisfy his icky fetish for crotch snapshots.
Jeez. You’d think with all the options…
…he wouldn’t have to waste any time taking any of those pervy-ass photos himself.
Instead, he chose to violate the princess of Tennis (which our friend at Racqonteur will not be happy about), and we hope he ends up with a racquet up his anus.
Wanna see the photo? Click here, pervs!
UPDATE: Click here to see why there will be no Sharapova crotch shots at the 2008 Wimbledon.
Filed under: Celebutards, Crotch Shots Are So Over, Disgusting Japanese Dudes, Eww, Gross, Maria Sharapova, Pervs, Skeevy Dudes, Tennis, Toyo Shigeta, Upskirt, Yuckers
