You are currently browsing posts tagged with Perfection

Blame Polamalu?

November 8th, 2010 | 4 comments | Posted by Diana

By the grace of the football gods, my Steelers are currently 5-2 and holding strong in the AFC North –despite kicking off the season with four games sans their starting quarterback/resident douchebag. Last week was particularly painful–the boys (with douchebag) lost a great contest after a gritty fight with the awesome and beloved NOLA Saints.

As usual, I grumbled at the idiot calling plays and getting sacked on the field. Always the Hardass Asian Steelerfan: “Roethlisberger, you tool, move that ball! Why can’t you be more like Drew Brees? Look at your brothers Hines Ward and Mewelde Moore Troy Polamalu and James Farrior. They work so much harder than you. So much smarter!”

I was ultimately surprised to read that safety Troy “ol’ reliable” Polamalu placed the blame for the Saints loss squarely on his own broad, Samoan-American shoulders. To the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, he said:

“I think there are times in games where there were a lot of opportunities to make plays, and I didn’t make them,” he told the Tribune-Review. “It doesn’t have anything to do with anything physical with me, and maybe I’m second-guessing myself a little too much. But, other than that, we’re 5-2.”

Teammate Ryan Clark told the newspaper that Polamalu felt that he let the team down, which makes sense considering Polamalu’s addiction to perfection (the only addiction that is, by the way, so fucking ASIAN). But is my favorite safety really to blame for a loss against the NFL’s defending champions? Nah!

Still, I doubt anyone could convince Polamalu he’s wrong unless they’re married to him. I wouldn’t try. So my suggestion for redemption is simple: perfectly pound the Bengals tonight on Monday Night Football. Nothing says “I won’t fail again” like kicking kitty ass and taking names.

[Pittsburgh Tribune-Revie: Troy Polamalu - I Need To Play Harder]

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BABEWATCH: Aishwarya Rai At The Cannes Film Festival

May 18th, 2010 | 1 comment | Posted by Jen

Eva Longoria Parker and Aishwarya Rai at the premiere of Tournee at Cannes

EVA: Tell me again why I have to stand next to you?

ASH: Because we both work for L’Oreal, silly.

EVA: Could you at the very least have let me be the only one wearing the sparkly dress?

ASH: What, this old thing? I just threw it on at the last minute.

EVA: Uh…yeah, me too! Yup, just threw this on. Just like you. Don’t even know who designed it.

ASH: Didn’t I hear you tell that journalist over there it was Naeem Khan?

Continue reading BABEWATCH: Aishwarya Rai At The Cannes Film Festival

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HONORASIAN ALERT: Joannie Rochette

February 26th, 2010 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen

Thursday night, were there two Asians on the women’s figure skating medal podium…or three?

There was gold medal winner Kim Yu-na of South Korea, who skated perfectly, set a new scoring record, and was, according to the NY Times, “taken aback by her own crying” at the end of her performance; and there was silver medal winner Mao Asada of Japan, who failed to nail two of her jumps, looked stoically sad about being the first loser during the medal ceremony, and later described herself as “regretful”…and then there was Canada’s Joannie Rochette, who stayed in the competition and won the bronze only four days after her mother’s sudden death from a heart attack, who, after the competition, recounted how her mother was sometimes her biggest critic, how when Joannie would score a 98 on a test, she’d wonder, “What about those other two points?”

So let’s see…

We had perfection and an unexpected display of emotion, stoicism and regret, and memories of a Hardass Mama willing her child to succeed?

Sounds like an Asian sweep to me!

[CNN: Rochette earns bronze, thanks her late mother]

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Padmama Lakshmi

February 1st, 2010 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

It looks like Padma is going to have a baby girl!

And dayum. If that little baby grows up to look anything like mama, all of your kids are gonna need to lock up their husbands.

[Page Six: Looks Like It's A Girl For Padma Lakshmi]

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Thanks, Jasmine!

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Oh, What a Knight

July 23rd, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

In this week’s Entertainment Weekly, Grey’s Anatomy star T.R. Knight discusses why he’s the latest original cast member to fly the coop of the hit show.


Writer Michael Ausiello shared an exclusive excerpt from the story on EW.com:

“This fall, Knight was surprised to see his character George O’Malley all but vanish from the show — for the first nine episodes of season 5, he appeared on screen a total of only 48 minutes, compared to 114 for Sandra Oh’s Christina. Still, due to what he calls a gradual ‘breakdown of communication’ between himself and exec producer Shonda Rhimes, the actor chose not to ask his boss what was going on with his character. Instead, he simply asked to leave.”

I’m sure Grey’s ain’t no picnic, and don’t wanna hate on O’Malley or nuffin’, but let’s just make a fine distinction between that character and Christina Yang (Sandra Oh’s). Yang is a Type-A, no-nonsense, nuts-and-bolts, Asian female that settles only for perfection and wants nothing but to be the best. O’Malley is a self-doubting, doughy, little guy, that operates from a place of love and oh, happens to be a damn fine surgeon.

I’m from a family of docs, yo. People like O’Malley simply don’t exist. I’ve got three Yangs IN MY NUCLEAR FAMILY ALONE.

All I’m saying is that maybe the loss of screen time had something to do with the unrealistic nature of the George O’Malley character. I have never met a nice, cuddly surgeon–not EVER. They’re as real as jackalopes and unicorns and reasonably-priced airport food and short DMV lines. Anybody that says otherwise is a big, fat liar.

So perhaps Grey’s is simply taking a turn towards truthfulness.

…It is TV, though. That’d be a first.

[EW's Ausiello Files: This week's cover: 'Grey's Anatomy' star T.R. Knight reveals why he left the hit show]

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AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Moshe Kai Cavalin

June 8th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


Name: Moshe Kai Cavalin

Age: 11

Hails from: Los Angeles

Occupation: Student

Known for: Graduating (with a degree in astrophysics, natch), at his young age, from East Los Angeles College with an AA degree and a 4.0 GPA.

As if our parents didn’t hate us enough for waiting until our teens to finish high school: news that an adorable, dutiful kid can easily rocket through college while mastering martial arts techniques and displaying mighty charisma, citing “hard work” as opposed to “genius” for his achievements, is sure to fuel the fire.

Sigh. He’s even better in action. Check out video of the little bugger:


[via HuffPo]
[Slant Eye for the Round Eye: It's O.K. If You Cry A Little...]

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Thanks, Anthony!

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Jon & Kate–Still Doing Gr8?

April 30th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

It’s getting increasingly difficult to defend Jon Gosselin: the pudgy, frustratingly meek father from Jon & Kate Plus 8. Our position hasn’t changed dramatically–we’re not suddenly saying he’s a bad guy.


But he himself has stated that he exercises bad–well, “poor”–judgment sometimes.

Y’know, the kind of poor judgment that causes a man to ignore the fact that he’s a relatively famous reality TV dad, and get piss-drunk at a bar while surrounded by phone cameras and college co-eds? Or, most recently, inspires that very same man to voyage out (while his wife is in another state promoting her book) to a different bar–this time with a female friend he refers to loudly to as “babe,” bail from the watering hole at last call, panic at the sight of photographers and their mean ol’ lenses as they snap away, and have the “babe” speed off in his SUV, him riding shotgun, without so much as turning the headlights on?

Poor judgment, indeed. We’ve gotta say, we don’t know for sure what shenanigans Mr. Gosselin is up to in his free time away from Capt. Wifey. But we do know that this guy makes a lot of mistakes.

And Asians hate few things more than a bunch of fuckin’ stupid mistakes.

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Mo’ Better Meatty Meat

January 9th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

When the dazzling, gorgeous Padma Lakshmi divorced her much-older husband Salman Rushdie, many were quick to gossip that the statuesque beauty was guilty of an affair. In my travels between LA and NYC, I’ve personally heard some first and secondhand accounts of her romantic dabbles, and while staying mum on all of those stories, I’ll just say, I believe that the odds that the whispers were true are… pretty good.

The one most people were interested way back when, however, was the rumor that Lakshmi was bouncing around with a married, well-known chef. Blind item after blind item nailed Lakshmi for this one, until Gawker finally supposed, for a while at least, that the culinary hero in question was–eek!–Anthony Bourdain.

I, on the other hand, had always held out the hope that the lovely Padma would only have surrendered her special parts to the boyish advances of Rocco DiSpirito–even though I’m not even sure he was married at the time of her detours. Though I could never exactly figure out why, I did.

Today, however, after reading that Match.com writer/relationship expert Whitney Casey recently spilled to Howard Stern that DiSpirito was the best lay she ever had and bearer of a “perfect penis”… I think “why” is now pretty clear.

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Congratulasians, Kristi Yamaguchi

May 21st, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Kudos to Kristi Yamaguchi for winning Dancing with the Stars last night!

And now, a word from Kristi’s parents, Carole and Jim Yamaguchi:


CAROLE: Well, that was nice.

JIM: Yes, our daughter did very well tonight. Although I noticed that she was a little out of sync during that jive routine. But, all in all, she was nearly perfect.

CAROLE: I completely agree. She was almost perfect.

JIM: Quite close to perfect.

CAROLE: Just shy of perfect.

JIM: A hair away from perfect.

CAROLE: Perfect by most standards.

JIM: As perfect as humanly possible.

CAROLE: Perfect according to the judges.

JIM: True, true. Her final scores were indisputably perfect.

Long, awkward silence.

CAROLE: Well, this night was pretty much perfect, don’t you think?

JIM: I completely agree. Tonight was about as perfect as it gets.

Source: YouTube

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AMAZIANS OF THE WEEK! Jaryd and Cara

April 21st, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Name: Jaryd Farcon and Cara Abaya Campos

Occupation: Pint-sized, Filipino-American ballroom dancers

Known for: Their quick feet, crisp “leg and hip action” (whatever that means), and big toothy smiles; winning the kids’ competition last week on Dancing with the Stars, being the only non-creepy part of that reality show, saying really adorably Asian things like “practice makes perfect” and “We want to make our parents proud.”

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No Rest for the Asian

April 1st, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

As we mentioned last week, Kristi Yamaguchi has been leading the pack of this season’s Dancing With the Stars cast since they burst out of the gate.

This week marks the third in which Yamaguchi rocked a score of triple nines, an impressive display that allows her to hold on to her lead for both the episode and the current overall. I dunno about you, but I’d be patting myself on the back–gently but repeatedly–for such stellar scores right about now.

…But we all know that an A-minus average isn’t enough for the gold medalist, right? Here’s her take:

“‘I’m still kind of racking my brain, but I think I definitely need to take it to another level emotionally and within my face to get the performance to another level,’ said Yamaguchi.”

TRANSLASIAN: “My parents watch the show and call me up after every episode, telling me that I should practice harder, stretch more, work longer. My mother won’t let her friends tune in until I start getting tens. She told me: ‘Dancing with star, world championship, olympic, same thing! You should get perfect score!’ I won’t rest until I see ’30.’ I hate myself so frickin’ much right now.”

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Totally Gratuitous Hotness

December 3rd, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Daniel Henney took home another trophy–other than hizz bad self–for Best New Actor at the 6th Korean Film Awards, held in Seoul this past weekend. Here he is walking the red carpet, reminding me of a young Elvis Presley:

Okay, gals, all together now…

[swoon and pass out]

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