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Our pal Angry Asian Man haaaaates it when we make fun of Ann Curry, because he’s got a mad crush on the Today show anchor, who turns 53 today.
But the truth is, we do, too.
There’s something ineffably charming about her, whether it’s her repeatedly wishing you a good morning or her oogly-love for Brad Pitt that makes her go all fangirl during an interview. We’ve called her a robot time and again, yet we can’t actually remember how that got started in the first place–must have something to do with how perfect she always seems (and certainly how perfect her lipstick always is).
She’s just trying soooooo hard alllllll the time, y’know?
She should get points for that. And since it’s her birthday, we’re only going to say nice things about Ann. Here goes:
Ann, baby. You turn 53 today, and you look fuckin’ amazing. Please email us the name and number of your derm when you get a chance. You seem like a nice person, way nicer than us, all oozy with compassion, even when you’re talking to hideous fame trolls like Octomom, i.e. people we’d rather punch in the face. Your voice, that silky, smooth alto, could soothe the bloodlust of famished baby hyenas. We kid and we tease you only out of love. Now please don’t stop doing ridiculous things like really awkward hip-hop dancing or attempting to scale one of the world’s tallest, cruelest mountains or inappropriately touching movie stars’ faces, or we won’t have anything fun to write about anymore. Oh, and happy birthday!
Sheryl WuDunn sets a really unreasonable standard for all of us mere humans. First of all, she’s brilliant. A decorated writer, educator and businesswoman, she is no stranger to success. Then there’s the pioneer aspect of her career: she’s the first Asian American person to have ever won a Pulitzer Prize. She’s a dedicated wife and partner (hubby is writing partner Nicholas Kristof). And she happens to focus on important stuff, like China, and worldwide female empowerment.
Surely she must be a stiff, right? Wrong. She’s not only likeable, but dang adorable when she opens her mouth. (See her most recent interview, where she talks about new book Half the Sky with Stephen Colbert, here).
So what’s wrong with WuDunn? Well, nothing. Except that in addition to all of these qualities, she also happens to possess one of ravishing beauty, making her just perfect. So there you go.