You are currently browsing posts tagged with People of Supernatural Beauty

BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Chanel Iman

December 3rd, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Happy birthday to Chanel Iman, whose lanky limbs and luscious lips turned the ripe old age of 20 on Monday!

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And since we’ve endured enough Blasian falsehoods for the week, let us celebrate one Blasian truth: this little lady is only going to get better and better and better with age. Y’all know it’s true.

[Chanel Iman on MySpace]

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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN!

June 11th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


What can we say? The world celebrates beauty–and we, in keeping with that, sure do love ourselves some supermodels. We’d like to wish the lovely, lovely, lovely Ujjwala Raut a very happy 31st birthday! May she continue to enjoy the benefits of having exceptionally long limbs, a perfectly symmetrical face, and the ability to “smile with her eyes” for years to come.

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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Naomi Campbell

April 4th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana
25% Asian, 100% Crazian


Homegirl, you know we love you, cuz you’re so gorge you can’t be human, and we like to think that the 25% of you that is Han Chinese has a little something to do with that (we’re gonna take credit whether you like it or not). And, for the most part, we’re willing to look past your lunacy, because above and beyond you are FIERCE and FABULOUS, and sometimes cuckoo-ness just goes with the territory. And hell, you’re a SUPERMODEL, and supermodels can get away with doing just about anything–like wrapping themselves in clear synthetic wrap and calling it post-modern.

But spitting on a police officer at the airport and getting arrested? Girl, that is downright F.U.B.A.R., not fabulous. And petty airport crime, to boot, kinda reminds of us a D.O.T.W. alumni that we never thought you’d be in associasian with:

Buh-Bai, A-list!


What next? A book called Nipples?

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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN!

November 1st, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Happy 34th Birthday, Aishwarya Rai. Many have called you The Most Beautiful Woman In the World for over a decade. And yeah, you totally are. Girl, what kind of moisturizer do you use?

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Beauty Tips from Lucy Liuser

October 10th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Our friend Sara, who made an awesome doc on Dr. Bronner, the magic soap dude, available November 13 on DVD, sent me this InStyle story yesterday that reveals Lucy Liu’s beauty secrets (which include using Dr. Bronner’s). Here are some choice excerpts from the interview:

LUCY: I drink a lot of water, and I’ve never had coffee. I think caffeine can be really bad for your skin. And I don’t get facials, ever.

TRANSLASIAN: I’m just naturally gorgeous. And I’m better than you.

LUCY: And I let my hair air dry. I rarely blow-dry — I don’t have time.

TRANSLASIAN: Again, I’m naturally gorgeous. And I’m just too busy making horrific, unwatchable movies.

LUCY: I splurge on acupuncture…My parents used to get acupuncture. It has been a part of my culture and my life for a long time, and it really, really works.

TRANSLASIAN: I’m Asian! And keepin’ it real real.

LUCY: When my hair was longer, people didn’t come up and talk to me. Now they find me more approachable.

TRANSLASIAN: I’m just like you, a normal person. But if you come up to me and start a conversation, I will kick you in the nuts.

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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN!

May 10th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Supermodel of All Supermodels Linda Evangelista turns 42 today.

Observing that this gorgeous, gorgeous, supernatural being doesn’t look a day over 25, it occurred to us that she might actually be ASIAN!!! –Either that or she’s wisely taking some sort of anti-agin’ (or as I like to say, Anti-Asian) serum.

So we looked for photo proof:

Exhibit A:
Here’s Ms. Evangelista in a quasi-kimono. Paying Asia homage? Yes.
Proving her true Asian heritage? Not quite.

Exhibit B:
Here: Pretty chinky dress; however, not a very chinky face.

Exhibit C:
AH! Getting warmer!!! Sporting a pretty geisha puss!

Exhibit D:
Warmer still… Jet-black hair, almond eyes, and… (ahem) Opium.

And then…

…we found our proof.

Exhibit E:
JACKPOT!!!

Oh Linda. You’re one of us!!! We love you. Happy freaking birthday.

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