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Three years ago, when Diana and I were kicking around book ideas, there was one that rose to the top for us, one we thought was pure gold. Its working title was: “How to Raise a Child Prodigy.” Although neither of us were prodigies–a fact that filled us both with regret–and neither of us were parents yet, we felt qualified to write the book anyway, because we were products of Hardass Asian Parenting, which was no different, in our minds, from Prodigy Parenting (see: the long, ever-expanding list of Asian prodigies). Plus, we imagined the book as a way to talk about what it’s like to be Asian American without getting heavy, a way to laugh at ourselves, something honest but still tongue-in-cheek. Of course there would be some non-Asians, aspirational parents in particular, who would buy the book for parenting tips and take it seriously…suckas!
Only we never wrote it. We started it as a blog, set to private, but didn’t get beyond a couple of entries. In hindsight, our lack of follow-through shines a light on two rather important details: 1) why we weren’t prodigies in the first place and 2) why we weren’t qualified at all to write the book. During that time, we did manage to bang out a long list of child-rearing ideas, ideas we’d been exposed to personally that we planned to explore in our little parenting guide. A selection of those ideas appears below, from a document dated March 2008:
Filed under: Amy Chua, Amy Chua Tiger Mother, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, Books, Chinese Mothers, Chinese Parenting, Failed Prodigies, Hardass Asian Moms, Hardass Asian Mothers, Hardass Asian Parenting, Hardass Asian Parents, Memoirs, Mothers and Daughters, Parenting Books, Parents, Polarizing Figures, Prodigies, Tiger Mothers, Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior, Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior Wall Street Journal
We never tire of the Hardass Asian mama-isms collected on our favorite user-generated blog, My Mom Is A Fob. But a visit to the site sometimes leaves us wanting for more, especially for nods to our beloved papas*. Enter the best thing that ever happened to our Tuesday, High Expectations Asian Father. Their brilliant logline: “The meme dedicated to the bitchiest parents in the world. Too bad we love them.” It’s like I Can Haz Cheezburger, but from the voice of your beady-eyed, higher-educated, dissatisfied chromosome donor.
How does he respond to affection? Should be no surprise.
Is he proud of your success? Damn straight.
Continue reading So Your Mom Is A Fob. What’s Your Dad’s Story?
Filed under: Asian Parents Are Flawed Yet Lovable, Badass Asian Parents, Bitchy Parents, Disappointing Your Parents, Hardass Asian Dads, Hardass Asian Parents, High Expectations Asian Fathers, Hilarity, I Can Haz Cheezburger, My Mom Is a Fob, Parents, Tumblr, We Love Our Fathers
Something tells me your parents are not gonna be swayed by the whole “But it was a BRONZE MEDAL!!!” thing.
You might get disowned and be forced to move far away. In the event that you need a place to stay, please do not hesitate to email us.
Filed under: A Life In Pictures, Awkward Moments, Bad Photos, Boarders Are Hot, Bronze Medal, Disownment, Embarrassing, Everybody Loves a Winner, Getting Head, Incriminating Photos, Love Bites, Olympic Medals, Parents, Scotty Lago, Snowboarders, the Olympics, Vancooter, Vancouver Olympics, Whoopsieeee