You are currently browsing posts tagged with Paparazzi

When in Doubt, Blame the Pap

August 18th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Hayden Panettiere recently revealed to Company Magazine that the public and paparazzi are the source of her relationship blues, a prime example being her breakup last year with co-star ex Milo Ventimiglia.

Why Hayden?

She says:

“It’s very, very difficult and people have no idea what they do to peoples’ relationships. They destroy them. The paparazzi and the public,” [in] a revealing interview with Company Magazine. “The public wants to read about your personal life, and the paparazzi give it to them by nosing into your personal life and saying things that are just not true and horrible.”

So here’s “me,” absolutely shocked at this revelation. And horrified the public and paparazzi would and could poison a relationship so precious as that between two actors.


After all, what could be more rock solid than a union of celebrity performers? Especially involving a young hot starlet deeply embroiled in the hot club scene of Hollywood, and her decade-plus-older beau?

I’m blown away. Jaw agape.

OH! And I’m also holding the world’s smallest violin:

Play it again, Jen!

[PopCrunch: Hayden Panettiere Blames Fans, Paparazzi For Ruining Lovelife]

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Zaxy Buildup and Vanessa Hudgens

March 31st, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

So Zac Efron gets photographed during the UK premiere of 17 Again with gross, waxy buildup in his ear, and as a result, is pelted with Q-tips during his next LA outing. Kind of hilarious!

But here’s what sucks. The person that suffered the brunt of the Q-tip attack was none other than Efron’s lady, Vanessa Hudgens…

Come Over Ear!

…which I think is just plain unfair. Why, you ask? Yes, Vanessa is Zac’s lady, and therefore mildly responsible for him looking relatively cleaned up when he walks out the door. You could almost argue that she should’ve busted his ass on that wax right out of the shower on premiere day.

Except: we ladies can help you fellas buy jeans that don’t look like they were obtained at a 1992 Gap. We can help you pick out shirts for work. We can give you cologne for Christmas, introduce you to Kiehl’s men’s products, request that you shower regularly, and quickly size you up before you walk out the door.

But we can’t be responsible for your waxy-ass ears. Boys, that was yo’ mama’s job. And if you’re old enough to screw/drink/smoke, now it’s yours.

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Baby, You’re Worth It

February 27th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Ladies…


Remember. It’s not about whether or not you can afford to buy anything at Chanel [purrs].

What’s important is if, after glancing at a paparazzi photo of you with your ass-cheek-baring, Wet Seal denim shorts, cheap blue contacts, dirty knee boots, and just-bought treasures in hand, Intern Jasmine wonders innocently:

“[Maybe she's] like my mom, who saves shopping bags from fancy department stores and then reuses them to carry her lunch around.”

In which case… we’re looking at a great-looking lunch.

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Million Dollar-Smile

February 5th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Cutest. Paparazzi. Photo. Ever!!! [via JustJared]:

Slumdog Millionaire’s Dev Patel, just happy about traveling

I definitely think there are a few people that could take a cue from Patel’s fresh-faced, grateful pap-titude. And that means you, grouchypantses Lindsay Lohan Jessica Biel Sienna Miller Julia Roberts, Madonna Britney Keanu Reeves Ben Affleck Cameron Diaz et al….

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Dear Lindsaysian

July 18th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Dear Lindsay,

How are you? I’m fine. I’ve been really busy or whatever, but everything’s great, just great!

Let me cut to the chase: I’m not a huge fan of yours. I am freaked out by your family. I am freaked out by your freckly legs. I am freaked out by your mug shot. Hell, I am freaked out by your Friday (Hee hee! Get it?). People say you can act–which is true on some level (I loved Mean Girls)–but I’ve seen you with that gravelly voice, shoving your hands in your pockets, shrugging your shoulders and acting petulant, in enough movies (Okay, I’ve seen Freaky Friday and I Know Who Killed Me and, by God, Lucky You… which is more than I can say for most of the world) to know that you’re a bit of a one-trick pony.

I don’t think fame-dependency has been good for you. I’ve noticed that your weight constantly fluctuates (you’re looking a bit thin these days, by the way… I do hope it’s pilates and not yay). You parade around Robertson Blvd. with a perpetual come-hither lip snarl, but nobody’s coming hither. And now that you’re no longer under rehabordeathwatch, and your agent is freaking out because your “serious stripper” movie proved to be a fucking disaster, and the trades told everyone that your big-screen name is spelled F-L-O-P on television, you ‘re actually starting to seem… really, really desperate.


Is this why you seem to be taking cues from our DISGRASIAN Hall-of-Shame-whore, Tila Tequila? Let’s face it, she needs attention like most people need air, and so do you! She loves her tits, and so do you! She loves sequined dresses, chapeaus, going blonde, and rubbing up against butch chicks…


…and so (see above) do you!

The problem with this is not so much that we don’t bi your paparazzi-perpetuated lesbian love affair (drive-bis are tired, and we loathe them all).

It’s that we don’t care.

NOBODY. CARES.

TAKE AN ACTING CLASS. BECOME MORE INTERESTING. DO SOMETHING. DO BETTER. DON’T JUST DO YOUR HOMELY FEMALE BEST FRIEND.

I’m so fucking bored of you I could tip a cow (but I won’t).

xoxox,
diana

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We Really Love Tila Underneath It All

April 3rd, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Listen guys… we’ve cracked on Tila Tequila too long. Let’s give her some credit, okay? She’s a self-starter, an entrepreneur, a rags-to-riches story that in many ways can be admired. Maybe she’s the paparazzi fruit that the Times should be calling a “feminist hero.” And maybe she’s smarter than she’s sold herself to be. Most importantly, guys, I think she’s gotten SERIOUS.

“Serious,” as evidenced by her new track, a softer ballad (with nary a booty club mix in sight) called “Paralyze.”


Yo— I said SERIOUS, not WEARING CLOTHES.

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Thanks, jRu!

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Face Alterasian?

March 26th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

From this TMZ video debacle, let us glean some informasian that can help us in the future.

Tip #1: Never ask an Asian woman if she’s considering Botox. She’s not. And she won’t be. And don’t hate her, but she’s not going to need to, not even in 15 years.

Tip #2: If you’re a ballroom dancer with a a 50-year-old mom’s haircut, and your name is “Cheryl,” don’t be upset if people ask you if you’re considering Botox. You’re not old enough to feel insecure about your age, and you aren’t making a great case for yourself anyway. You likely also work in Hollywood, sort of, where girls under 18 already think they need collagen in their lips. Instead of getting angry, just smile.

Tip #3: If you are a Dancing With the Stars cast member, don’t be snide with the paparazzi, as this is probably your only time in the sun. Savor it! Seriously. Savor it.

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