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AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! @ReallyVirtual, The Man Who Unwittingly Live-Tweeted The Raid On Osama bin Laden

May 2nd, 2011 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen

Meet Sohaib Athar–@ReallyVirtual on Twitter–a Pakistani IT consultant from Lahore who, up until a day ago, was “taking a break from the rat-race by hiding in the mountains with his laptops.” And the name of the mountain town where Mr. Athar had taken refuge?

Abbottabad.

Turns out Athar wasn’t the only man who found the Sarban hills surrounding the city to be the perfect hideaway. But Athar is, however, the only man who live-blogged the raid on that other guy’s mountain retreat. And unwittingly, at that!

Though now “the rat race” Athar had been trying to escape in Lahore has come to him–with journalists the world over scrambling to land an interview with Athar–the Pakistani man just trying to get away from it all hasn’t lost sight of his core values–or, for that matter, his appealingly wry sense of humor:

[WSJ: From Abbottabad, Live-Tweeting the Bin Laden Attack]
[@ReallyVirtual on Twitter]

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Fuck You, FOX "News." Again.

August 26th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen


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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! The Assassination of Benazir Bhutto

December 28th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

So much has already been said about the assassination of former Pakistani Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto that we’re pretty sure we don’t have anything earth-shattering to add about the sad sad news.

But here are the things that we do know:

  1. Bhutto was not only the first female leader of the modern Muslim world, and a counterpoint to religious idiocy, she was also a glamazon who knew how to rock a headscarf and red lipstick.
  2. We don’t trust anyone with “perv” in their name.
  3. The Bush Administration asked Bhutto to go back to Pakistan and reprzent for democracy, but they couldn’t help get her car windows tinted or more adequate security detail? Even D-list celebrities can hook up that shit.
  4. Osama bin Laden (‘member him?) is still chillin’ in Pakistan, makin’ wacko home movies and god knows what else. Wassup with that?
  5. When I was learning about President Abe Lincoln’s assassination in junior high and figuring out how to spell the word, my teacher Mrs. Hall broke it down on the board like so: ASS + ASS + i + NATION.

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Chinysteria: The New Cold War

September 11th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

God bless Canada.

Not only because it is home to my grandmother and my adorable cousins, and the most delicious soup dumplings in North America (Din Tai Fung in Markham, outside Toronto), but also because there are still RATIONAL PEOPLE there, like Professors Hari Bapuji and Paul Beamish, of the University of Manitoba and the University of Western Ontario, respectively. These two business academics are publishing a report that has found “(m)ost of the recalls of toys made in China are because of design errors, not manufacturing problems.” Their data is collected from U.S. recalls of Chinese-made toys from 1988 to the present.

The report points out that when Mattel recalled 20 million toys this past August, 80 per cent of the toys were pulled were because they contained small magnets, which is a design flaw. But Bapuji says all of the media focus has been on the lead paint issue. He says Canadian consumers should instead be demanding better of their toy makers.

It’s incredibly unseemly to toot one’s own horn, but we did write about EXACTLY THIS a month ago in “When in Doubt, Blame China.” And we have a new word for this xenophobic alarmism…CHINYSTERIA.

Meanwhile, Chinysteria continues to take over news headlines. The AFP published this one a few days ago:

“French government falls prey to cyber-attacks ‘involving China’”

And the Times (London) published this one:

“China’s cyber army is preparing to march on America, says Pentagon”

Because it’s the sixth anniversary of September 11th, everyone’s talking about Bin Laden and his new piece-of-shit video. I have to admit, Chinysteria scares me more than Osama. This is the new Cold War, folks. Hope everyone remembers how to duck and cover.

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