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Pornogami

August 24th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Want to learn how to play with your penis?

No, not that one. I mean your origami penis, as demonstrated here by premier pornogamist(?) Master Sugoi, author of Pornogami: A Guide to the Ancient Art of Paper-Folding for Adults:

It’s not everyday I can say this, but…genius scrotal work!

[via Trend Hunter]

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America’s Next Top Model Needs a Little More Diversificasian

March 4th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

America’s Next Top Model Cycle 12 starts tonight, and we’ll be watching even though it doesn’t appear there are any Asian sistas on the show this season, which is weird, since the fashion world is supposedly embracing more of our peeps. (I was holding out hopes for “Fo”–did someone say noodles?–until I watched her audition tape.) But we all know ANTM isn’t about fashion or diversity, it’s about hissy fits, drrrama, and smiling with your eyes.

At least the promo images for the show have the contestants looking like us. And when I say “like us” I mean they’re in full geisha maquillage, an orgy of origami flying all over the place.


And that’s something, right?

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

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Casuallasian Dropping Hints

February 27th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Conversasian between Jen and Diana at DISGRASIAN HQ earlier today:

(Diana works tirelessly in the side office, hiding what she’s doing)

JEN: (pops her head in) Yo. Whatcha doin’?

DIANA: (wildly tosses newspapers over her work) HI!! NOTHING! HI! WHAT’S UP?!? HOW’S IT GOIN?

JEN: Dude, what are you doing?

DIANA: Nothing! Let’s talk outside in the foyer.

JEN: Are you making something??

DIANA: No. (barricades the doorway)

JEN: (pushes her way through) You are! You’re making…

(Jen lifts the newspapers to reveal a bouquet of origami flowers)

JEN: Flowers! For me?

DIANA: Yes, peach. I’m afraid you’ve ruined the surprise.

JEN: But why flowers? Is it my birthday?

DIANA: Nope. It’s our one-year DISGRASIAN anniversary. Well, it soon will be. This weekend.

JEN: You remembered!

DIANA: I did!

JEN: And here I just bought you a new Marni bag to commemorate our union.

DIANA: You didn’t! You shouldn’t have.

JEN: I did.

DIANA: I can’t believe it’s been a whole year. We’ve come so far. We’ve accomplished so much.

JEN: It’s true. Do you think any of our friends will give us presents for our anniversary?

DIANA: Like who? RJ? Ty? Jasmine? Henri? April? Erin? Benna? Slanty? Chris? Jru? Greenie? Angry? G Scott? Eliza? Your Mom and Dad? Um, for starters?

JEN: Yes, like those people. Most of them have the mailing address for DISGRASIAN HQ. And, I mean, for those who don’t, a gift certificate via email can be so chic. Only in circumstances such as this, of course.

DIANA: So chic. Wow, I really love presents.

JEN: Me too. Anyway, I’m proud of us for getting to a year. It’s been a lot of work, pain, tears, bouts of exhaustion, and sleepless nights… but so worth it!

DIANA: Me too! What more could a person want out of life besides a Volvo, their health, Marni, and a rad blog partnership?

JEN: Presents.

DIANA: Happy early anniversary, Jen.

JEN: Happy early anniversary, Diana.

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HONORASIAN: Katherine Heigl

October 15th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

I’m not sure how I feel about Katherine Heigl. Grey’s is unwatchable, and her character is too blonde and weepy, anyway, for my taste. She was surprisingly good in Knocked Up and held her own among people much funnier than she–namely Seth Rogen, Leslie Mann, and Paul Rudd. Then again, I hated what she wore to the Emmys.

That Zac Poseur dress looked as stiff as meringue, and the flaps on the sleeves called to mind three unpleasant things: origami, nuns, and maxipads with wings. It also had a bridezilla quality to it, as though the Emmys award show was her wedding and she was, like, “It’s MY day!” (which, in fact, it was, because she won).

But then I found out that Heigl has an Asian big sista, Meg, who was adopted from Korea. Meg recently got married, and Heigl was her maid of honor.

Cute, right? And then I was, like, I love Katherine Heigl! Katherine Heigl is adorable! She wasn’t good in Knocked Up, she was great! She’s the next Lucille Ball! I bet she’s interesting and smart, too!

I know, I know. I’m shamelessly ricist that way.

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