You are currently browsing posts tagged with Odd Couples

Lionel Richie’s Bai-Out

July 22nd, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


The blogosphere has been rather unforgiving regarding rumors that sparked after Bai Ling and Lionel Richie apparently shared some laughter and conversation over dinner at the Santa Monica Viceroy last Thursday.

“Oddest. Couple. EVER!”

“Lionel Richie and Bai Ling? Seriously?”

“Lionel is 60 years old and has been divorced twice – his second marriage ended in 2004, when he and Diane Alexander split after nearly nine years of marriage. Bai Ling is 42 years old, and totally strange.”

If the rumors of a budding romance are true, I actually think they might fit quite nicely together. Underneath it all, she could be an incredibly pensive soul, as reflected by her prose. And a poetic soul, he certainly is. I mean, HELLO:

Could be magical! Even though he can’t rock an accent (at least, not temporarily) and she certainly does with “finesse,” if these two crazy kids can find love in the worst of towns, who the heck are we to stop them?

[via Dlisted]

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Thanks, jRu!

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Tequila and McCain Go Together Like Ramma Lamma Lamma Ka Dinga Da Dinga Dong

April 7th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


Recently, after Tila Tequila shared lunch with John McCain’s daughter, Meghan, much speculation rippled across the Interwebz about such an unlikely pairing–what could those two possibly have to talk about?

Tequila clarified things about her “really good friend” to Us Magazine:

“People may think we are so different, but she is a Scorpio and I’m a Scorpio, and we have very strong opinions about things.”

And you know what, I now completely understand what she means. Jen and I have been “really good friends,” like triple-time-super-sista-BFF4EvaNEvas, for quite awhile, and it’s no secret why. Jen’s Asian and I’m Asian, she likes stuff and I like stuff, we’ve both read some books, we both like dinner, we both own couches, we both live in California! I mean, if we’re NOT an obvious match, I don’t know who is.

[Us Magazine: Tila Tequila on Meghan McCain]

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"Ladies" Who Lunch

April 2nd, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana
Tila Tequila and Meghan McCain finish lunch
at Hollywood’s Chateau Marmont, March 28

MEGHAN: I’m really glad we did this, Tila.

TILA: Me too! Thanks for buying lunch.

MEGHAN: Well, you said you couldn’t find your wallet.

TILA: Oh! Um, yeah!

MEGHAN: Um, you’re welcome.

TILA: You have a lot of dough though, right? I mean your mom’s totally loaded.

MEGHAN: Well I don’t really like to talk about money.

TILA: Oh. Why?

MEGHAN: I’ve always heard it’s kinda tacky. Kinda like talking smack about your dad’s first family when they’re not around to defend themselves. Not like my mom does that or anything.

TILA: Hunh.

MEGHAN: Hunh.

TILA: Hey, did you buy your boobs?

MEGHAN: Excuse me?

TILA: God, you must have bought really expensive ones. They’re so real, it completely looks like it’s all real fat in there.

MEGHAN: Er, yeah, my breasts are real.

TILA: Oh my gaw! Praise the lawd Jesus! I love ‘em! You’ve got awesome tits, girl.

MEGHAN: Thank you. Everybody loves my boobs.

TILA: I just want to stuff my face in them and then make out with your thighs for my vlog. And then take you home to meet my parents.

MEGHAN: I, uh, okay.

TILA: And gaw, I’m like, just so glad we hooked up on Twitter! Ha… you can actually say “I hooked up with Tila Tequila… on Twitter.”

MEGHAN: Yeah… I… could?

TILA: It’s just that when I found that you like, fully looked up to me, I just sooooo wanted to like, reach out, like to a little sis or an um, like, rabid fan, or whatever. I can’t believe you’re my rabid fan! I love that!

MEGHAN: Oh girl, I love you. But I don’t know if you could call me a “rabid fan,” per se. It’s not really like that. I just think it’s cool that you–

TILA: Make out with chicks.

MEGHAN: Well, not–

TILA: Have beautiful, big tits.

MEGHAN: I mean–

TILA: Hate the gooks.

MEGHAN: You–wait, what?

TILA: You wanna “If You Seek Amy!” Girrrrl!!!

MEGHAN: Um, Tila, I think I might just going through a rebellious stage. I hate my parents. My mom’s a robot.

TILA: Mine too!

MEGHAN: That’s awesome.

TILA: I know. So annnyways, when I realized we were going to lunch, I was like, we’re gonna dress all ladylike, right? So I’m gonna wear a little black dress and my classiest stilettos! And then I was all like, ohmigosh. Pearl necklace. I’ve gotta wear a pearl necklace!

MEGHAN: Are those… pearls?

TILA: Well, I mean, kinda! Anyway, pearl necklaces are like my favorite thing. If you know what I mean! [snorts]

MEGHAN: Yes, I think I do. Hey, not to get or technical or anything, but I think those balls on your necklace are more accurately meant to appear “pearl-like.”

TILA: [suddenly emotional] Girl, don’t hate.

MEGHAN: What??

TILA: Are you being a hater?

MEGHAN: I… I’m sorry, what?

TILA: I have suffered so much hardship in my life already. And when you’re on top [snorts], people just want to take you down. They wanna be haters! And I say, fuck the haters!

MEGHAN: Tila, I’m not… I’m not hating.

TILA: Fuck the haters! Don’t be a hater! Don’t breaka my stride, girl! Don’t hate!

MEGHAN: I just spent two-hundred bucks on lunch. Why would I hate?

TILA: Girl, don’t talk about money. That’s just tacky.

MEGHAN: I just told you that!

TILA: Bitch, please! [whips out Blackberry]

MEGHAN: What are you doing?

TILA: I’m tweeting this.

MEGHAN: Oh my fucking God. You’re like a goddamn Twitter addict!

TILA: Yeah, I twitter a lot, ho! Right now I’m saying that you’re a cunty, money-grubbing, hater bitch. Should show up on your phone in a second. Oh, and now I’m saying that you take the Lord’s name in vain.

MEGHAN: Oh my god, you’re a full-on psycho.

TILA: Right now I’m tweeting that you’re a full-on psycho.

MEGHAN: I hate you.

TILA: I didn’t vote for your dad.

MEGHAN: Who cares? Neither did I!

TILA: I’m tweeting that.

MEGHAN: AUGHHHHHHH! [exits]

[Us Magazine: Meghan McCain Goes to Lunch With MTV's Tila Tequila]

Thanks, Jasmine!

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Transasian to Power

November 10th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana
President George W. Bush meets with President-Elect Barack
Obama
in the Oval Office, after giving him a tour of the White House

BUSH: Pretty cool digs, eh, Obamarama?

OBAMA: The best in the world, Mr. President. I’m looking forward to settling in.

BUSH: [Surveying the room] I can’t get over the fact that it doesn’t really feel like an oval.

OBAMA: …

BUSH: And y’know, I’m not looking forward to packing up all of my crap, y’know what I mean? Eight years is a long time. I’m like, tired. I hate wrapping stuff and putting it in boxes. Laura always ends up doing that kinda stuff for me. I just tell her I’m busy or I’m on the phone with some world leader or something. And if that doesn’t work I just threaten that I’ll drink again, he he. Works every time!

OBAMA: I’m sure it’s a pretty daunting task, Mr. President. Before we move forward, I think it would be a good idea to first talk about expediting the economic stimulus package.

BUSH: Oh, Borat, you know I can’t say the words “stimulus” and “package” in the same sentence without chuckling a little. Chuckling a lot, he he… “package!” [chuckles]

OBAMA: It’s important to take action on it now, and not just wait until I take office. That’s still two months away. And you’re the President right now.

BUSH: Oh, I can piss away a couple of months, no problem. Hell, Orama, if I had been running in this election I bet they’d still be counting ballots in January.

OBAMA: I’m not sure that’s the best way to look at it, Mr. President.

BUSH: Call me Georgie. I’ll call you Barry. Or… Osama! [chuckles]

OBAMA: I’d rather not.

BUSH: You’d rather what?

OBAMA: Mr. President, let’s talk about housing. Americans are losing their homes.

BUSH: I know, O Ban! I am one of those Americans! You’re comin’ in here and takin’ over the place with some weird hyper-anesthesia dog!

OBAMA: Mr. President, if I could just get you to focus…

BUSH: Have you wondered where exactly a squid’s face is? Those crazy-ass things don’t make a lick o’ sense to me. Kinda like Koreans.

OBAMA: No, Mr. President, I haven’t wondered much about that.

BUSH: Do you listen to Foreigner at all?

OBAMA: I have a very diverse playlist.

BUSH: Cool man, cool. So what’s it like being a Muslim?

OBAMA: [Sighs] Somebody, anybody, please just take the picture.

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