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OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. The FINAL FINALE of the Harry Potter franchise is upon us!!!
I want to cry. I want to scream. I want to see the movie. And then–shoot–I want to unsee the movie once I’ve seen it so that I won’t have to admit that it ALL ENDED and I can once again roll around in the wonderful-yet-unbearable anxiety that comes with not having yet seen it! AGHGHHHHH!
Are you freaking too? Of course you are. With that in mind, we are pleased to offer you TWO Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 giveaways, which will be running until July 11th.
Giveaway #1 is a marathon contest taking place on our Twitter (follow us here). Rules are: @ reply a Twitter frenemy, tell them why #itallendshere, include an #itallendshere hashtag, and cc: @disgrasian. Best Tweet wins:
Continue reading 2 Things Asians Love: Pop Quizzes And Harry Potter [HP7 Giveaway!!!]
This man’s limo driver apparently overcharged him by 800 grand:
…so why are we looking at his toothy mug instead of the guy at the wheel?
Well, there’s no denying that the crime allegedly committed by Chan’s driver, Peter Rahhaoui, was wrong. Stealing from anybody, no matter how wealthy, is definitely not okay. So if Rahhauoi is found guilty, it’s slammertime.
But is it possible that this driver, currently pleading not guilty to the offense, is in fact a kind of shadowy, uncelebrated hero–like a less bloodthirsty, NYC version of Dexter, and was simply doing his part as a vigilante scam artist in order to keep the world in balance?
From NY Mag:
“…back in Hong Kong, Chan’s own credibility has been called seriously into question. Chan is accused of faking the will of his mistress, late Hong Kong property magnate Nina Wang, who was reportedly worth $4.2 billion at the time of her death in 2007. She was then the richest woman in Asia. A self-proclaimed feng shui master, Chan began his relationship with Wang as a design consultant and soon became her lover — despite a two-decade age difference. He carried on his affair with her even as his own wife became pregnant and bore a son (who Chan named, wonderfully, “Wealthee”). After Wang’s death, Hong Kong authorities allege Chan forged a will naming him the sole heir to her fortune.”
Not saying Chan deserved to be swindled, or that he’s guilty of anything that hasn’t been proven. Okay, maybe if guilty of all things above, he deserved it a liiiiittle bit.
And if he’s this careless with dough and hiring, maybe Jen and I should be working for him.
Filed under: Billionaires, Cheaters, Dexter, Fake Signatures, Feng Shui, Forged Will, Hong Kong, Keeping the Balance, Limo Driver Rips Off Tony Chan For $800k, Losing Your Credibility, Nina Wang, Nina Wang May Not Have Been An Angel Either, NYC, Richest Woman In Asia, Scam Artists, Shameful Behavior, Tony Chan, Uncelebrated Heros, Vigilantes, Weird American Behavior, Weird Chinese Behavior
Since you’ve got your cameras and editing systems out, why not try to win some more kool shit? We learned via Angry Asian Man that our kickass friends at KoreAm have extended the deadline for their Krazy K-Pop Music Video Battle to November 10!
Which means: if you can shoot a killer response to this video (and by the way, we wanna see you muthafuckin’ DANCIN’):
…you can win a trip to NY. And get mad props. And earn our mad respeck.
Contest rules are all here. Step up, K-poppers!
My mother is a wonderful lady, but I’m convinced that she gave birth to four children in an attempt to build an army of personal slaves. If she wasn’t such a Hardass Asian Workhorse in other arenas (like her career), I might actually think she was the laziest person in the world. I record her outgoing answer machine messages, check her unheard cell phone voicemails, and install all of her bullshit, pull-your-hair-out, why-the-eff-is-this-so-complicated PC anti-virus programs. My sister chauffeurs her to the Indian casino, takes her dog to get groomed, and books all of my parents’ plane tickets. Mom orchestrates big family projects: “We’re going to rearrange all of the furniture in this room!”–and then sits down on a chair to yell out directions.
For real. Mom once wanted to buy a new car–one of those fantastic, big, black, luxury sedan mom boats. We brought her to the dealership. She said, “I’ll just stay in this car, you and Daddy go in and pick one for me.” We said, “It’s your CAR. Don’t you even want to test drive it?” She said, “Just get the black one. Make sure it has all the nice stuff in it.”
Six car dealership hours later, it was done. While waiting, my mom got hungry and asked us to buy her some lunch.
You may have heard about Cecilia Chang, the disgraced former Dean of St. John’s University, who was suspended and then fired earlier this year after being accused of embezzling $1 million from the school. Chang could now face additional prison time for Continue reading Disgraced Ex-Dean Cecilia Chang: Slave Lord Or Just Another Hardass Asian Mama?
Filed under: Cecilia Chang, Ex-Dean of St. John's University, Hard Labor, Hardass Asian Mamas, Hardass Asian Moms, Hardass Asian Mothers, Mean Mommy, NYC, Public Disgrace, Scholarship, St. John's University, The Lazy Shuffle, University Deans, Work-Study
It’s been so long since I’ve been gone
Another day might be too long for me
Traveling around I’ve had my fill
Of broken dreams and dirty deals
Continue reading Home At Last
Filed under: All the Wrong Career Moves, Coming Home, Crazians, Famous-For-Nothings, NYC, So she DOES have a talent!, Strip Clubs, Stripper Poles, Strippers, Tila Tequila, Tila Tequila Is Batshit, Weird Celebrity Behavior, Where is Rock Bottom?, You Can't Go Home Again
Remember Tze Chun’s film, Children of Invention–the one that racked up all those awards and accolades during the festival rounds last year? It’s hitting theaters in New York and Los Angeles for a week, starting tonight.
Both cities offer Q&A sessions with filmmaker and talent. See showtimes below:
Look, we know everyone’s busy… but there’s a small window (barely a week!) to see this Continue reading New Yawkers/Angelenos, Time To Hit The Thea-tuh [Children Of Invention Theatrical Debut]
Filed under: Accolades, Asian-American Movies, Awards, Children of Invention, Everybody Loves a Winner, Festival Darlings, Filmmakers, Indie Movies, LA, LA Lakers, Movie Theaters, New York, NYC, Popcorn, Pyramid Schemes, Theatrical Release, Tze Chun
THE NO PANTS EPIDEMIC LIVES ON. AND IT’S ONLY GONNA GET WORSE.
John Liu–NYC’s first Asian city councilmember–has won the runoff election against David Yassky, clinching the Democratic nomination for city comptroller and setting him up to face (with heavy advantage) Republican Joe Mendola for the win in November.
Should Liu take office in 2010, he will in doing so become the first Asian American person to serve as a top city official–a landmark achievement. But that hasn’t been the driving force in his aspirations to become The City’s finance-watching Big Kahuna.
Liu told NY Daily News:
“It’s something that I suppose secures my place in history, but that was never my objective.”
He continued*, saying**:
“My life’s most sacred goal is to one day become DISGRASIAN’s Amazian of the Week. If I can win this election in November, I’m a shoo-in for one of the later weeks of that month, maybe the first week of December, I just know it. Maybe somebody can put in an early nominasian to the girls for me?”***
**like, totally false
***super fiction. We completely made this up. Sounds good to us, though!
Filed under: Aspirasians, David Yassky, First Asian American To Serve As Top City Official, Government, Joe Mendola, John Liu, John Liu For City Comptroller, Money Matters, NYC, NYC City Comptroller, Shoo-Ins
We’re not surprised that writer Cintra Wilson, shopping for the NY Times Style section last week, felt out of place during her visit to Derek Lam‘s flagship house of luxe on Crosby Street in NYC’s SoHo. After all, let’s be honest. Few would.
“Mr. Lam’s flagship is his version of that genteel world where the rich are still as spoiled and sheltered as they ever were; his customer is a precious orchid, lovingly tended and exhibited under his enormous acrylic bell.
This recipe for femininity looks, to me, as if it is aimed toward a stereotypical Hong Kong billionaire’s wife. The clothes evoke a demure, under-control, decidedly non-rowdy (read: non-Western) type of woman who appreciates her role as an ornament of great value, and sits prettily and quietly in Gulfstream jets.”
Funnily enough, Jen and I are actually quite familiar with a Hong Kong billionaire woman or two. And let me tell y’all, those bitchez iz crazay! They’re not demure, nor under-control, nor “decidedly non-rowdy” (gosh, the more I think about it, the more Wilson’s description seems fitting of Kate Gosselin).
…So does that make them, um, Western?
Filed under: Cintra Wilson, Crosby Street, Death to Luxury, derek lam, Eastern vs. Western, Elitism, Flagship Stores, High Class Problems, Huh?, NYC, Ornamentals, Snark, The New York Times, This is Bullshit
Paris-based Maggie Kim is absolutely stunning to look at, but don’t let that distract you from her many illustrious musical gifts. Kim’s voice drips with desire–a smoky, alluring blend of PJ Harvey, Chrissie Hynde, and something all her own–she adds a knowing, bluesy, quirky, New York-y tenor to lyrics like, “Baby please, come back to me” and “Why don’t you know… I could be yours?” All of this, of course, made the more interesting by an eclectic mix of punk riffs, gentle pop beats, r&b bass lines.
Kim’s newest, an album sweetly entitled, “Love Like Everyone” (which features the production genius of Chris Fudurich and Brent Arnold, as well as an instrumental cameo by Mike Watt) is due for a May release, and she’s in the States to spread the word. If you’re in SF, NYC, or LA for her mini-tour dates this month, and you don’t show your face, you’re a gigantic asshole and we promise you’ll regret it.
Find out more at her official site.
That’s just algebra, guys (at least we believe so). Can’t fight the facts.
Anyway, who isn’t down for a little FUN TIMES FRIGGIN’ INFINITY? What’s not appealing about a Skittles-colored, über-hip, designy flyer? Who wouldn’t be excited for a little West Coast love?
No one that we can think of. So we expect to see lots of bright, shiny, happy faces seeking out the good times at Cal’s 2nd Annual Queer and Asian Conference, which happens next week (MAY 2nd) in the beautiful Bay Area.
We’re giving you plenty of time to shift your schedules, so don’t miss it.
Click here for more info on QACON.
Brian, who is a NY-based stand-up comedian and blogger for 8 Asians, shared the panelist’s table with me last weekend at the 3rd Annual New York City Asian American Student Conference blogosphere panel. I remember a lot of what he said, but not all of it–his deep, velvety voice kept lulling me into a distracted, happy, crush-coma.
Shortly after the panel, my brilliant girlfriend Maegan walked up to me to, I assumed, to lavish me with praise and a run-down of all the brilliant, cogent, incisive things I’d said over the previous 70 minutes. Instead she said, “I really liked that Brian guy. He was really smart, funny.”
“I liked what he had to say.”
“Alright yeah, he’s fucking hot. HOT.”
Move over, Bobby Jindal. There’s new voice to hump in town.